Sometimes Always
by Vernie
Summary: Three years after Sonny's breakup with Chad, she finds herself a loser at love. Wanting to experience an intimate relationship for the first time, Chad offers to help—no strings attached.
1. Chapter 1

****NOTE****: This is a very adult fic: It is rated **M **after all. Beware that there are sexual situations and profanity. It was definitely written for the more mature SWAC fan in mind.

* * *

><p><strong>SOMETIMES ALWAYS<strong>

**::Chapter 1::**

It had been one of those days. Things were oh-so hectic in my life right now. On top of doing my fifth (and last) year here at _So Random!_, I had somewhat reluctantly agreed to star in an indie movie produced and directed by none other than Marshall Pike and co-written by his cousin, Harold. As if I didn't already have enough on my plate. I was also supposed to be finding my own place by the end of next month. I hadn't even started looking yet.

This honestly wasn't my game plan. I thought I would've been in college by now, but I had to keep putting college off in lieu of my career. That sounds a bit odd now that I think about it. Anyways, I've made too many obligations to too many people. Did I also mention I had been chosen to be Tawni Hart's maid of honor? She met her fiance a year ago and her wedding isn't for another two years, but Tawni is quite the planner. Believe it or not, she's already constantly working on minute details of her wedding.

I was on my third cup of coffee that morning, going over a sketch rewrite when Aaron brought the mail cart by. Josh is gone; he's gotten a real job now. At least someone around here has moved on.

"Packet for Sonny Munroe," he said with a grin, slipping me a manila envelope.

"Thanks Aaron," I said, accepting my mail.

I opened it to find _another _change to the film's script. Script changes for this movie were never-ending. I had begun to wonder what I had gotten myself into. With a deep sigh, I stuck the script under my arm as I headed for the commissary. I hadn't eaten since last night and my stomach was so empty it was beginning to digest itself.

I guess not much about Condor Studios has changed over the past few years. Well, actually _nothing _has really changed. It's pretty much the same people everyday, save a few shows that had been canceled or had eventually run their course. Miraculously, for some reason, _Mackenzie Falls _is still on the air. They had found a great way to stretch the show out though—it's characters have stopped aging. That's right, Chad Dylan Cooper is still playing a high school senior despite the fact that he's 21 years old. Stomach lurch.

I made myself a fro-yo with extra multicolored sprinkles to brighten it up and took a seat by myself at the table, beginning to look over the script's changes.

The script actually isn't a bad one. It's a more adult role, which I like. It's actually an incredible coming-of-age story of a woman's first year away from home. Now that's something I wish I could experience. Right now, my life seems to be stuck in the same place. I really long to live in a dormitory, or be part of a sorority, surrounding myself with lots of new people and new experiences. Oh yeah, and some sort of degree would be a nice bonus.

As I began to read the new scene that had been added to the script, I blush furiously. Marshall's cousin actually made this movie a little racy, which is a bit uncomfortable for me. I basically went through puberty in front of Marshall Pike, and acting out some of these scenes could prove to be awkward. When I flip to the middle of the script, I can feel the color drain from my face. Harold had written me a love scene. A nice, racy love scene.

I quickly looked up at the sound of someone knocking on my table top. Chad was balancing a platter of baked halibut, his gazed fixed on his destination—the prestigious Mac Falls table. He does this sort of thing a lot—grabbing my attention without acknowledging that I'm here. It's a bit odd, considering three years ago we were dating and pretty much inseparable. I once shared my hopes and dreams with the guy, and today we barely speak. After I broke up with him after the whole Tween Choice awards thing, he finally started to get it through his thick skull that we would never be together again. Somehow, we had reverted back to our old ways, except I was seeing a lot less of him. Well, we do work in the same building, so it's more like I still see a lot of him, we just don't do that much associating. I think he's still kinda pissed about what happened.

I quickly advert my gaze when our eyes meet and I realize that I've been staring at him the whole time.

This is the last thing I need to be bothered with today.

I tossed my froyo and go to find Tawni in our dressing room.

"Sonny, what do you think of this gown?" she asked me as soon as I set foot in the door. She was looking through bridal magazines, bookmarking the ones that she liked.

"I think it will look outdated in two years," I quickly said. "I need to talk to you."

"What is it?"

"Harold Pike added a love scene to the movie!" I quickly exclaimed. "He wants _me _to have sex on camera!"

Tawni rolled her eyes. "You don't actually have to have sex on camera, Sonny. It's not a porno."

"Well, this is just as bad," I argue. "What am I supposed to do with this?"

"Umm, find someone to practice with?" she suggested. "At least get your sorry self a boyfriend. People have been talking."

"About what?"

"About your obvious vow of celibacy," she joked. "Are you planning on staying single forever?"

"It's only been seven months," I defended myself.

"Seven months is a long time," Tawni pointed out. "It's an _excruciatingly_ long time."

"Not as long as your engagement," I quickly retort, leaving the room before she can come at me with another insult.

Tawni and I are best friends now, I suppose. She did choose me as her maid of honor, after all. Though she did mention that it was because I was the shortest of all her friends, which would make her stand out more. I'll never understand her logic. As much as I'd like to say we have a normal friendship, I'm pretty certain that will never happen. Tawni is still Tawni after all.

**X x**

I walked the halls of Studio 3, studying the script in my hand. The love scene was pretty heated, but maybe I could pull it off. I really hate telling Marshall no, considering he gave me my big break. I feel obligated to help him in any way possible, especially since _So Random!_ is ending this season and he wants to break into making independent movies. I think he's getting bored with the silly kid stuff, not that I blame him.

I sighed as I walked back into the commissary, grabbing a bottle of water and paying for it. I looked up to notice that Chad is now sitting by himself at his table and texting away on his phone. His long, blonde bangs had fallen over his eyes as his thumbs typed away. I shifted uncomfortably where I stood, resisting the urge to bother him with this. Finally, I gave in. Chad may be a jerk most days, but somehow he can always manage say something encouraging when I need it most.

I squeezed behind the velvet ropes that still bordered the table and he looked up curiously as I took a seat beside him.

"Munroe, you can't sit here," he scoffed.

I blinked. Why did I ever think he would be helpful to me in any way? I rolled my eyes at him, gathering my script and water and making for the door.

"Alright, wait a minute," he finally said to me when I had made it to the doorway. "Get over here." He reached out to pat the seat at his side.

I slipped back into the chair. "Chad, I have a problem," I whined.

"Okay?"

"I have to do a love scene!" I thought I'd save his time by just getting to the point.

His brows knit together as he looked at me confusingly. "I don't quite get the problem."

"I can't do a love scene, Chad!" I exclaimed. "Do you realize how ridiculous I'm going to feel?"

He was still frowning. "Well, it sounds like you don't have much of a choice. I'm still not sure why you're asking me for advice."

"Because you're an accomplished actor, I guess. You've done a bunch of love scenes this season-"

"Oh," he said with a grin, popping his collar. "I see you still enjoy watching _Mackenzie Falls._"

"That's not the point," I quickly said, realizing my blunder. I did still watch Chad's show. It was one of those things that was like watching a car crash because his show is terrible now. I just couldn't look away. "Anyways_, _I thought maybe you could give me some pointers."

"Hmm," he thought to himself, rubbing his chin. "Try not to get a boner while you're making out with your leading lady..."

"Chad-"

He threw his hands up in the air. "Well, what do you want me to say? It's like apples and oranges, Sonny."

"Something helpful? I don't want to let Marshall down."

"Marshall's going to be watching this?" he said, a weird look on his face. "Is it a nude scene?" he asked me, a little too hopefully.

"No, it is not a nude scene. It's just a really...sweet...love scene. I have no idea how I'm going to get through it," I quickly said, hoping he didn't prod me for an explanation.

He sighed, rubbing his forehead with his fingertips and looking a bit uncomfortable. "Just do what you'd do for any big scene. Gather from life experience," he offered, sounding a bit deflated.

Finally, he offers decent advice and I can't even use it. "Oh, yeah. Right," I said, looking away and trying to play off the awkwardness in my voice. I started to stand up before he could tell what was running through my mind, but he quickly grasped my wrist before I could do so.

"Sonny," he said, his voice low. "You do have life experience, right?" A smile was tugging at his lips and his stupid blue eyes were sparkling.

I grinned nervously. "Of course I do."

He frowned at me, and my wrist was still in his grasp. "Are you still a virgin?" he asked me in an amused voice. He actually looked quite entertained with the idea.

Chad has this weird way of seeing through me, so I decided to give up on my avoidance of the question. He had obviously already figured me out, so there was no point in lying now. "Yes," I finally admitted, my face heating with embarrassment.

He finally let go of me, sitting back in his chair and studying me with a smile. "Well, this is interesting."

I really did feel like hitting him right then and there; just slapping that stupid smirk right off his perfect face. But the last thing I need in my life is a bunch of drama.

"So, you didn't get with Julian," he pondered. "Was it the smell of patchouli or his scraggly goatee that turned you off?"

The mention of his name made me suddenly feel even more uncomfortable, if that was at all possible. "I think it was the constant cheating," I pointed out. "Tell me, why is this so funny to you?"

"Well, you're almost 20 years old..." he began.

"Not until this summer," I quickly replied. "And what does it matter? Some people save themselves for marriage. Not everyone looks to get laid every night."

"Name one person who saved themselves for marriage." He was smiling at this. He was actually grinning like an idiot.

I bit my lip in thought. "Mary?" It was the first person that came to mind, but I instantly started to mentally kick myself for saying it.

Chad busted out in roaring laughter. "Oh god, Munroe," he said, wiping away a non-existent tear. "You were always good for a laugh."

I ducked my head. "I have to go now."

"Alright, you know what? I'm going to help you out with your little situation," he said with a snicker, leaning in closely enough to make me feel uncomfortable. "How about you and me do a little role research?" he offered, raising his eyebrows at me. "I'll teach you everything you need to know."

"This conversation is over," I said, leaving. Well, asking Chad for advice was just an excellent idea. Why hadn't I expected something like this from him? The self-serving jerk.

Later during our break, I told Tawni all about what had happened over a healthy snack. She was sitting thoughtfully in front of her fruit bowl. "I can't believe you went to him for help."

"I know, right?" I sighed. "I just thought maybe for once he would pull through and help me with this. Nothing has changed. He still only thinks of himself."

"No, I mean you have all the advice you need right here," she said, motioning towards herself. "Why didn't you just ask me?"

I rolled my eyes. "Uh, maybe because you insulted me to my face?"

"Well," she said, wiping off her mouth with a napkin. "I've done dozens of love scenes."

I thought back to all of the work Tawni had done: Diaper Commercial. _Goody Gang. The Chad Dylan Cooper Story. So Random! _Hosting _Celebrity First Mates. _Nope, no love scenes in any of those.

"When have you ever shot a love scene?" I asked her.

"Lots of times," she said. "With Brandon..."

"Oh God," I said, suppressing the urge to vomit. "Are you saying you two...? On tape...?"

She shrugged, sipping her milk through a straw. "Yeah, sure. Why not?"

I rested my chin on the palm of my hand. "That hardly counts. I have to imitate sex with a stranger. In front of a camera. And an entire crew." I shook my head. "I really wish I weren't a virgin..."

Tawni reached out to place the palm of her hand on my arm. "I understand what you're going through. It's hard. I was 14 once."

That did it. I stood up, angry, the backs of my legs scooting the chair out loudly behind me. "I'm sick of being treated like a freak of nature."

Tawni laughed. "Sonny, calm down. I'm just joking. No one thinks you're a freak."

"What am I supposed to do?" I asked her as I relaxed a bit and sat back down in my chair. "I already agreed to do this movie for Marshall. I can't exactly let him down after everything he's done for me, can I?"

"No you can't," Tawni agreed. "Maybe you could have Harold change the scene?"

"I can't do that," I said with a sigh. As much as I hated the thought of doing the scene, it was epic. It really did make the entire movie, and I wanted this movie to succeed just as badly as Marshall did. "I guess I'll just wing it. I'm going to look like a fool doing it, but I don't have a choice."

"Maybe you do," Tawni piped up. "You could just take Chad up on his offer."

I choked on my orange juice. "Is that some sort of horrible joke?"

"Sonny, he's made you quite an offer. It would solve all of your problems. You want to experience sex don't you?"

"Yeah," I said. "But not like this. Who saves themselves for 19 years to lose there virginity to Chad Dylan Cooper?" I asked her.

"Probably, lots of people," Tawni pointed out. "Okay, so you broke up with Julian right when you two were about to become intimate because you found out he was two-timing you. Obviously, your fairy tale dream of losing your virginity to your knight in shining armor isn't going to come true. You've dated Chad before. He must've been a good kisser, right? The guy knows what he's doing, and most of all, you can trust him. He's not gonna be out screwing some girl in the parking lot of a K-Mart on your anniversar-"

"Okay, that's enough," I cut her off. I thought about it. I actually can't believe I was thinking about it. "The idea of it all is insane, Tawni."

"You'll just be friends with benefits," she said as she spooned a cantaloupe chunk into her mouth. "I've done it before. It's fun. No pressure. No chance of getting hurt."

"But were not even friends," I pointed out. "We would be _frienemies _with benefits. That's just weird."

"Sonny, when you were dating Chad, that boy treated you like his queen," Tawni said seriously. "There is no way he is even _capable _of hurting you in any way. Besides, he's been working out. Have you even checked out his bod lately? My god!"

I bit my lip. I _had _checked out his "bod" recently, and everything she said was true. The once lanky Chad Dylan Cooper had finally filled out a bit. He wasn't exactly in body-builder condition, but he had shaped up quite nicely. I often imagined running my hands down his ches- Okay, I was losing my train of thought now.

Tawni snickered. "You're totally considering sex with Cooper, aren't you?"

I blushed with shame.

"Don't feel guilty, Sonny. You're only human," she assured me. "It's not right to go as long as you have without longing for some sort of intimacy. Don't resist your urges anymore; go talk to Chad."

Feeling a bit embarrassed (okay, a lot embarrassed), I set out to the Mac Falls set...to seek out my future lover. _Shudder_. Some words just don't belong in the same sentence. This would definitely take some getting used to.

**X x**

My legs shook slightly as I walked to Chad's dressing room. I took a deep breath before raising my fist to knock on his door, then thought better of it. What the hell was I doing here? I was about to make the hugest mistake of my life. This was stupid. This was beyond stupid. I turned to walk away when the door shot open.

"Sonny?" He was tightening the tie on his prep school uniform and looking at me puzzlingly.

"Hey." It was all I had to offer him, because I didn't even know what I was going to say to him.

He offered me a small smile. "I was actually about to come talk to you. I, um, was going to tell you that I was sorry for what I said earlier. I shouldn't have made fun of you about the..." His eyes glanced at his surroundings with paranoia, "you know, the 'V' thing," he whispered.

I was a little taken back by how guilty he actually looked.

"It's not weird or anything, just so you know," he went on. "I know lots of people your age who haven't had sex yet. Like D & D kids...and chubby theater girls..."

"Chad I think we should do it!" My hand clasped over my mouth as soon as the words left my lips.

"Wait, _what?_" He looked absolutely shocked.

I stood my ground, trying to appear confident. "I am taking you up on your offer for the...role research."

He laughed. "I wasn't serious about that...it was supposed to be a joke." He looked perplexed and slightly frightened by the idea. "You actually want to give up your virginity to me? We have barely spoken to one-another in the past three years. Why would you want to do that?"

So now, when I need him to be on board with this, he chooses to think realistically. Nice Chad, real nice.

"Here's the thing. I'm have to do this dumb love scene and I want it to look real. I have no idea what I'm doing," I admitted. "Not only that, but I really just want to experience an adult relationship before I set off to college. I feel so...so inexperienced. I haven't had a decent relationship since who knows when. I want to get this over with...I'm obviously not going to lose it to someone special, so I want it to be you."

"Wow, thanks a lot..." he said, sticking his hands into the pockets of his blazer and looking absolutely insulted.

"Wait, that's not what I meant, Chad," I started. "I almost gave myself to a real jerk. I realized if that would've happened, I'd be beating myself up right now."

Chad's face fell and he studied me with a look of sympathy...or pity. What was the difference anyway?

I sighed "I know that you're a really sincere person. You're not gonna feed me a bunch of bull shit to get in my pants or talk smack about me when it's all over. I can trust you, right?" I asked him.

He stood silent as he slowly nodded his head in agreement. "Yeah, you can trust me."

"Well," I said, clapping my hands together. "So you're on board with this?"

He shrugged, looking a bit shy about the idea. "Well, yeah. I guess if that's what you want..."

"It is."

He half-smiled as his eyes fixed on me. "So, were doing this then?"

"I guess so."

He frowned. "I'm suddenly getting the feeling of Déjà vu."

I spun around and left, a smile on my face. This would work out just fine. I think...


	2. Chapter 2

**SOMETIMES ALWAYS**

**::Chapter 2::**

I taped the top of the cardboard box with a roll of packaging tape, labeling the box "knickknacks" and setting it aside. One down and about 500 more to go. And that's just for the knickknacks.

"I can't thank you enough for helping me with the packing this weekend, sweetheart," my mom told me with a grateful smile. "I don't know how I'd do it all without you."

"It's fine, Mom," I assured her. I sorta lied. I wasn't really that fine with it. I had only slept about 12 hours in the past three days, so I was fighting to stay awake. Sunday was the only day of the week I ever had the opportunity to sleep in, but this morning I had gotten up bright and early to double bubble wrap breakables for their journey to Wisconsin. "I bet you can't wait to get back to Wisconsin. I'm sure you're really missing Jason."

She nodded affirmatively. "It's been hard."

I smile as I turn back to my packing. My mom got remarried a little over a year ago to an old high school flame she had ran into here in LA. He was working in the city temporarily and had moved back to Wisconsin about six months ago. My mother had taken awhile to be able to transfer to the Wisconsin branch of her law firm where she works as a paralegal, and she had finally landed a job back at home. I was going to miss her when she moved in a couple of weeks, that was for sure.

My mom placed her hand on my arm as I moved to bubble wrap more of her cheesy figurines. "Sweetie, I'm so proud of you for being so supportive through all of this. I know it's hard for you to think of Jason as your dad, but you've really helped welcome him into the family."

I shrugged. "Well, I barely remember my own dad. He isn't that hard of a person to replace." It was the truth. It had been so long since I've seen the man, I barely remembered what he looked like. Matter of fact, I just don't think about him anymore.

Mom picked up the box I had finished packing, setting it on the stack we had finished the night before. "I was hoping I'd be able to go see that apartment you were telling me about," she said to me. "I'm afraid I just have too much to do this weekend, though."

"S'alright, Mom," I assured her. "They already found a tenant for the place anyway."

Apartments went fast in LA, especially reasonably priced ones. The truth was that I was a little afraid of the concept of living on my own. There was a lot of comfort knowing that my mom is waiting at home for me after a long day at the studio with a warm casserole ready. Not that I'm not capable of cooking for myself, it was just a matter of finding the time to do it. And I never had time to do much else than work these days.

I rubbed my eyes tiredly. "I think I'm gonna go lie down for awhile," I told her before disappearing to my bedroom and plunking myself down on my twin size bed, my feet dangling off of the end. I closed my eyes, finally letting sleep overtake me.

I had just nodded off when my phone buzzed in my pocket, alerting me of a text message.

**CDC: Pik u ^ 8 2nite 4 a lesn n luvm8kin**

I blinked a few times before I was able to decipher the message.

Yep. Chad was a regular Don Juan.

**X x**

I went through my closet, searching for something suitable to wear that night. I had decided not to dress up for this. This was in no way a date and I wasn't about to let Chad think I'd put any time or effort into my appearance.

I pulled on a pair of dark blue skinny jeans and a tee shirt that says "I put the SIN in Wisconsin." It was sort of a gag gift from my best friend, Lucy, but it seemed oddly appropriate for tonight. I took a second to pull my hair up into a ponytail as well.

I stared at my face in the mirror one last time—the face of a virgin. Tomorrow morning I would be a changed woman.

My entire body was shaking as I glanced towards the clock. It was already a bit after eight and I wondered if maybe Chad had backed out of this idea. He wouldn't be the only one having second thoughts about tonight. Nervousness was overtaking me. My anxiety was so overwhelming, I hadn't even been able to eat today.

Would Chad think I was bad in bed? There was no doubt that I had no idea what I was doing. It was very likely that I was going to humiliate myself despite the fact Chad knew it was my first time.

Tawni had assured me that morning over the phone that your first time "hurts like hell," but she's always been a bit dramatic. To tell you the truth, I was nervous about how much this was going to hurt. If I cried in front of Chad I would surely feel like a fool.

I started to wonder what I had gotten myself into.

Finally, a soft knock at the door alerted me of my booty call.

I opened the door to find that Chad had actually dressed himself nicely for this—a pair of dark-washed jeans and a nice, pressed button-up shirt. A designer pair of sunglasses were stuck in his collar. He gave me a once-over with his eyes, causing me to blush a little.

"Ready?"

"Yeah, I just gotta grab my purse," I choked out shakily. I think he could tell just how nervous I was.

He shook his head. "Don't bother. No charge for your first time."

I smiled as some of my anxiety melted away, then reached up and punched him hard in the arm.

"Alright, let's get out of here," he said, a sheepish grin on his face as he sorely rubbed his bicep.

**X x**

"Chad, where are we going?" I asked him after we'd been driving for awhile.

He nodded towards a sign that said 'Lookout Mountain 2 Miles.'

"Lookout Mountain?" I asked him, "You think I'm going to lose my virginity in a car?" Was the guy _insane? _He owned a huge three-bedroom townhouse, and he was going to pop my cherry in the back of a BMW. I could just imagine the paparazzi jumping out of the bushes to snap a steamy snapshot of us naked and tangled together.

He just smirked as we drove, finally parking his car in a secluded place.

"I am not doing this here," I told him defiantly, my arms crossed. "I will not have sex in a car." Maybe I was stooping pretty low by allowing Chad Dylan Cooper deflower me, but it sure wasn't going to happen like this. Perhaps I didn't have high standards, but I had to draw the line somewhere.

Chad put the car in park and then leaned casually over the steering wheel. "Who said we were having sex tonight?" he asked me non-nonchalantly.

I paused, frowning at him. What did Chaddy have up his sleeve this time? "Umm...you did?"

Chad took a deep breath as he looked up at the sky. The stars above were twinkling brightly, just like they had the first time we came to Lookout Mountain to break up Miss Bitterman and Marshall. Wow, if this night could be half as magical as the time Sasquatch jumped out at us...

"Sonny, exactly how far have you gotten with a guy?" he asked me, breaking me of my thoughts of hairy subhumans.

I sunk down into my seat, shrugging a little.

"Have you ever, you know, gone down on a guy?" he asked me.

"Gross."

"Rubbed one out for him?"

"No..."

"Have you ever made out in a car?"

I crossed my arms, looking in the opposite direction and frowning.

"Tell me you've at least made out here since we've broken up. C'mon, you dated that dirty hippie for like two years."

"It was one year exactly," I argued bitterly. "And no, I haven't been here since we broke up. Julian said that by making out at Lookout Mountain we would be giving in to social stereotypes unfairly placed on teenagers over the past 60 years."

"Yeah," Chad said, rolling his eyes at my comment. "Sounds like something the douche bag would say. You've missed out on more than just sex, Sonny. There's a lot of stuff that goes along with it. Good stuff."

"Can't we just skip all that?" I asked him. "Because you're not getting a blow job from me."

"I didn't ask for one. But you can't run to home without touching the bases along the way," he told me.

I uncrossed my arms and turned to face him with uncertainty.

"I could tell when I picked you up tonight that you'd been freaking out over this all day," he went on, his eyes studying me with slight concern. "How would you feel if I just drove you back to my house right now to fuck you? That wouldn't be awkward at all, huh?"

"Well, yeah it would. But what's _not_ awkward about this, Chad?" I pointed out.

"Come on Munroe, you need _a lot _of practice. I don't know what kind of guy would date you for that long and not feel the urge to mess around with you even a little."

His statement only reminds me of everything I went through with Julian before we broke up. Feeling an overwhelming surge of anger, I opened the passenger side door and quickly slid out of the car before slamming it shut. I started walking down the dirt road when Chad promptly jumped out of his side of the vehicle and ran to catch up with me.

"Where are you going?"

"Home," I snapped.

"What did I do?" he asked, his voice getting high like it always does when he's upset.

"Nothing," I answered, rolling my eyes. The truth was I wasn't really sure what he'd done, but I was pissed, he was conveniently present, and I had to take it out on somebody.

He grasped my elbow as I continued to walk away from him. "The nearest bus stop is like three miles away."

I quickly pulled from his grasp. "I'll call a cab."

"Sonny, at least tell me what I said wrong! We both know that you're not exactly a master in the ways of love. I don't get it." He threw his arms up in defeat. "If you're really that pissed at me, at least let me drive you back home so I know you've made it back alive."

I stopped walking, spinning around to meet his confused eyes. "I'm tired of you treating me like something that needs to be fixed!" I yelled at him. "Well I'm not broken, Chad. I'm a virgin, and you act there's something horribly wrong with me!"

His mouth went agape. "Sonny, I'm sorry-"

"So I didn't give myself to the first guy who came along. Do you know how hard it is not to give in to peer pressure? How hard it was to not give in every time Julian told me that he was in physical pain because of me?" I asked him, rubbing my tired eyes. He looked horrified at my last confession. "He cheated on me because I wasn't giving him any. I loved him more than anything, and then I found out he was screwing around on me the entire time we were together!"

"I didn't know any of that. I'm sorry, Sonny," he pleaded.

"You know, it takes someone with a lot of self-control to save themselves as long as I have..."

"I. Am. Sorry!" he exclaimed.

"...to not sleep with the first boy who claims he loves her..."

"Sonny-" he tried to say.

"...to say no no matter how much her boyfriend tries to guilt her into it-"

I was about to yell at him more when his mouth suddenly covered mine. My knees buckled, and I would've fallen to the ground had he not wrapped his arms around my waist. My hands gripped tightly to his shirt, wrinkling it between my fingers. Our lips were moving quickly together and he finally broke free. "The car..." he said, and I nodded.

The back door was opened and we were toppling into the backseat in a matter of seconds. Chad was pinning me down, his lips moving over my neck and his hot breath tickled my skin. He pulled away for a second to shut the door behind us before attacking my lips with his again. What I thought would be awkward felt like second nature. It was just like old times, except our kisses weren't sweet and tender. They were heated and lustful.

I let out a soft moan as he snaked his hand underneath my tee shirt, his baby-soft palms smoothing over my abdomen before coming up to rest over my chest. It was the first time anyone had ever touched me like that, and it felt nice. I could feel him groan against my lips as he rubbed his hand over the satin material that covered my chest before cupping my breast in his hand. His fingers explored to the top of the garment where the fabric ended, touching the sensitive skin there.

Having his body so close to mine, I took the opportunity to rub my hands down his chest like I had envisioned for days. Even hidden beneath his shirt, his chest felt nice and firm, giving me a little taste of things to come. Our tongues tangled together, his body heavy on mine as I sunk down into leather upholstery of the car seat. I could smell his cologne, and his eyes twinkled as brightly as the stars above us.

Chad moved his hands down to squeeze my upper thighs, practically sending me over the edge and causing me to gasp. His hands still rubbed my thighs and my fingers came up to intertwine in his hair as I let out another loud moan. And that's when he stopped what he was doing and quickly sat up.

"You're not ready yet," he told me, his hair a mess and his eyes still filled with need. He had amazing self-control, that boy.

"I-I know," I admitted breathlessly. It all was too much too soon.

We stared at each other with wonder for what seemed like eons, the slight awkwardness of what we had just allowed to happen setting in. "This doesn't mean we're back together, by the way," I finally said.

"Don't flatter yourself, Munroe," he replied with a cocky smile.

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Good."

"Good."

I returned home that night with swollen lips, wrinkled clothes, and messy hair. I lied and told my mom that I had been on a hay ride. I'm pretty sure she didn't buy it, but it was worth it.


	3. Chapter 3

**SOMETIMES ALWAYS**

**::Chapter 3::**

The days that followed our make-out session at Lookout Mountain proved to be awkward between Chad and I. I would pass him in the halls at Condor Studios as we sent each other knowing glances, not bothering with so much as an obligatory greeting towards one another. Chad had done things to me no-one else ever had, but it seemed that little had changed for our friendship. I tried to tell myself that we were just keeping up with appearances, but I have to admit his indifference towards me was a bit hurtful.

Finally, one day while I was running some papers to Mr. Condor's office for Marshall, Chad caught me by the arm as I passed his dressing room. He quickly drug me inside, shutting the door behind us. Before I knew it, he was pinning me against the wall, his lips on my neck.

"God Munroe, do you know what you've done to me?" he whispered in my ear and I giggled a bit at his impulsiveness. "Every time I pass you in the halls I have to control myself not to jump you."

"Looks like you're not keeping yourself in check today, Chad," I warned as he nipped at my neck.

"I can't help it. How much do you work anyway?"

"A lot," I answered him, sighing and thoroughly enjoying the feel of his lips on my delicate skin. Work was about all I had time for these days, unfortunately.

"How long to you have?" he asked me, stopping what he was doing to look into my eyes.

"About three minutes-"

"That's enough for me," he declared, moving to push my cardigan off my shoulders.

"Chad!" I shrugged out of his grasp, tugging the garment back on. "I have to take these papers to Mr. Condor. Marshall is expecting me back right away."

"He can wait," Chad said with a grin. With his hands on my hips he pushed my back to wall and pressed his body against mine.

"Chad, as much as I really want to do this right now, you're just going to have to wait," I scolded him. "Don't get yourself all worked up over me, I really do have a lot of things to do this afternoon."

He sighed as he pulled away from me in defeat. "All right," he gave in as I went to leave. He quickly darted in front of me as I reached the exit, placing his hand on the door before I could open it. "Meet up tonight?" he asked me with pleading eyes.

"I won't be leaving here until late."

"What time?"

"I have a sketch rewrite and some movie deets to go over with Marshall. About seven o'clock probably."

"Come by my house, okay? Do you know where it is?"

"Yeah," I said, realizing I had never actually been to the place Chad has called his home for the two and a half years he's lived there. I knew where it was though; it was a pretty well known neighborhood among the stars. "I'll see you later," I told him, almost placing a quick kiss on his lips. I quickly stopped myself, remembering we weren't together and realizing how awkward the action would be right now.

**X x**

I was wandering around the Prop House after the rest of the Randoms had left that afternoon, going over a sketch Marshall had insisted I rewrite. Now that I was an adult, it was too easy to forget my target audience and write a sketch that could easily go over their heads. I often found myself having to scale back on the dry humor and replace it with the slapstick humor _So Random! _is known for: Pies in the face, people slipping on banana peels, flying balls to the groin area. I had really begun to loathe that kind of humor.

I stood up from the table where I worked, walking over to the kitchen area and pouring myself another cup of coffee, strong and black. As I rubbed my tired eyes, Marshall peeked in to see how things were going.

"I'm almost there," I assured him with a weak smile.

"Good, good. I knew you'd pull through for us, Sonny," he said as he rubbed his hands together. "By the way, there's a call for you on line 2," he added, patting me on the shoulder before he turned to leave. "See ya tomorrow, Kiddo!"

I nodded with a smile, taking a sip of coffee and sitting on a stool at the bar before I picked up the phone.

"Sonny Munroe," I answered casually, expecting maybe Mr. Condor or Harold calling me about the new film.

"Alison, how are you?" a rough voice asked through the phone, causing me to suddenly sit up.

"Who is this?" I frowned. No one, especially in the business, called me Alison. It was always Sonny now.

"Baby Girl, it's me. It's Daddy."

My fingers went numb as the receiver dropped from my hands, hitting the counter top with a loud thud. I stared at the offending object for a few seconds, listening to the voice on the other end calling my name before I finally picked the phone back up and placed it against my ear.

"Is this a joke?" I finally asked. "Whoever you are, this isn't funny."

"No Ali, this is your dad. How are you doing?"

My heart began pumping wildly. I was literally speechless.

"I saw you on TV a few weeks ago," he went on, when I didn't say anything. "Some of the nurses at the hospital helped me track down the number of the studio where you work. Baby Girl, I wanna see you. I'm in a hospital in Nevada and I want you to come visit me."

I allowed his words to sink in for awhile. Baby Girl—it was a nickname my father had always referred to me as when I was a child. I found it hard to believe that anyone who wasn't a direct relative of my family could have figured it out. I hadn't been called by that name since I was nine. Either this was an incredibly elaborate prank someone had put a lot of research into, or the man on the other side of the line was indeed my father. I pulled myself back together when I remembered he had mentioned something about being in a hospital.

"What's wrong with you? Are you sick or something?" I asked him with little concern in my voice.

"I just wanna talk. I want to see how you're doing. You sound so grown up. Have you graduated yet?" he asked me. His voice was gentle, yet sounded very strained and scratchy.

My teeth gritted together at his question. "I graduated almost two years ago. I'm barely a teenager anymore."

He coughed violently into the phone, causing me to hold it away from my ear. "That's great, sweetie. I would've liked to have been there."

"Yeah? Well I would've sent you an invite if I had any idea where in the world you were at," I told him, chuckling sarcastically.

"We have a lot to talk about," he went on, choosing to ignore my insult. "Why don't you come and visit me? You could drive out over the weekend. I'm not too far from you."

Something about the fact that he thought I would drop everything I was doing to drive all the way to another state irked me. As if he could just walk back into my life just as easily as he had walked out of it.

"I have work," I said dryly.

"All weekend?"

"I work every day."

"Well, let me give you my number and you can call me when you get a break."

"Don't bother," I quickly snapped at him. "I'm not about to let you interrupt my life when you've taken no interest in it over the past 10 years," I spat before I slammed the phone down.

I felt tears stinging my eyes as I sat alone in the Prop House.

I powered through the rest of me rewrite with shaky hands, wiping away a few stray tears that blurred my vision as I worked. I was not in the mood to be funny; I was not in the mood for anything.

I placed the finished rewrite on Marshall's desk and set out to my car, hoping to get home as quickly as possible. I was in dire need of a hot bath and a long night's rest. As I passed the _Mackenzie Falls _sign on my way out of the studio parking lot, I punched my steering wheel. I had forgotten my prior commitments for the night—Chad and his unyielding libido were surely still awaiting me.

I turned my car around, making the long journey to Chad's house in the valley.

**X x**

I pulled into the driveway of Chad's lavish three-story townhouse 45 minutes later. His home was typically what you'd expect of a star of his caliber—intricately decorated and meticulously landscaped. The outside was embellished with upscale features from the home's beige stucco siding to the Spanish-tiled roof. I could see the soft glow of the television through the front window, alerting me that Chad was indeed home and had probably parked his sports car in the attached garage.

I walked up the front steps and rang the doorbell. Any excitement or desire I had felt about our arrangements for tonight had dwindled away. As much as I tried to push the thoughts of my new-found father to the back of my mind, the events that had just unfolded a mere two hours ago still haunted me.

Chad reached the door in no time at all, swinging it open and then ushering me quickly inside. He was probably worried about the paparazzi spotting us together, although we did work in the same studio so it wouldn't be too difficult for us to formulate some sort of believable lie as to why we were meeting up like this.

His lips instantly attacked mine once I was inside the privacy of his home. I took comfort in the fact he had wrapped his arms around me, and I instantly encircled his neck with mine. I wanted to rest my head on his chest and stay like that forever, but he soon pulled away from me, letting his arms drop back to his sides.

"I didn't think you were gonna show," he admitted in relief. "It's almost nine o'clock."

I sighed. "Yeah, I'm sorry. I had a lot of things to take care of today."

"S'alright," he assured me as he took my hand and pulled me towards the leather sofa in his living room. His house was decorated just like you'd expect a 21-year-old man's house to be decorated: Leather couches, modern looking furniture, muted colors, and abstract art in the form of paintings and sculptures—a total bachelor pad. There was also a giant _Mackenzie Falls _poster framed above the mantel, which I would've found odd had this not been Chad.

"All that matters is that your here. I was getting a bit restless," he admitted as he plunked down on the sofa. I went to sit beside him, but instead Chad placed his hands on my hips, pulling me to straddle his lap. I faced him, my hands on his shoulders as my knees rested on either side of his pelvis.

"It's been a long afternoon," he groaned as he moved to kiss me again. Our lips were moving together while Chad removed my button-up sweater as he had tried to do earlier, tossing it carelessly to the side.

As horrible as a day I had had, I tried to get into our heated make-out session that was definitely leading to something. I attempted to empty my mind as I bit and sucked on his bottom lip, causing him to groan more. His nimble fingers quickly began to unbutton my shirt. As he finally undid the last button, he pushed the shirt off of my shoulders, revealing the black lacy bra I wore beneath.

"Shit, Munroe," he breathed at the sight of the skimpy garment. His lips began to trace my collar bone with soft kisses as his hands moved up my stomach, his thumbs reaching up to brush over the light material that covered my breasts. As much as I tried not to think about it, the site of my sickly father sitting in a hospital bed as I slammed the phone down on him troubled me.

I let out a loud sigh, my shoulders slumping as my face held a solemn look. Chad broke away from me as I did so, frowning in frustration. "You're not into this at all, are you?"

"Chad, I-I'm sorry," I began, my bottom lip quivering as I spoke. "Something happened today at work and I-I.." I sniffed loudly, trying my best to stop from crying as my entire body began to shake. I had already blew the entire evening for the guy, I wasn't about to cry in front of him to boot.

"Hey, calm down," he tried to comfort me as he softly gripped my upper arms, slowly removing me from his lap and turning to face me. I worked to button my shirt back up while wiping a few tears from my eyes.

"I really didn't mean to lead you on," I told him. "I'm so sorry, Chad," I apologized again.

"It's fine, Sonny," he assured me. "What's going on?" he asked me, concern evident in his voice.

I took a deep breath. "My dad called me at work this evening."

He frowned. "Your dad? I thought you said you didn't speak to him anymore." Chad had been one of the few people who knew about my history with my dad. We had talked about it on several occasions when we were dating. Chad had always had a strained relationship with his own father, so the topic came up often.

"I don't. I haven't seen or heard from him since I was nine years old. He looked up the studio's number and got a hold of me this evening." I buried my face in my hands, trying to ward of the migraine that was slowly creeping up on me.

"And they actually transferred the call?" he asked, looking a bit angry. "Does the studio make you answer all the calls from people claiming to be your relative? How do you even know it's your dad, Sonny?"

"I'm pretty sure it's him," I admitted. "He knew what my nickname from grade school was. I'm not sure how else he would know about that unless it really was my dad. I don't think it's a joke."

Chad's remained expressionless as he took in the information.

"He's in the hospital," I began to explain. "He didn't say what was wrong with him, but apparently he's been there awhile. He just wanted me to visit him. I was mad that he'd called me, so I hung up on him," I said as my tears began to freely spill over. My guilty conscience had overtaken me and there was no stopping them now. "Now I feel horrible about it. He was trying to reach out to me after all of these years. He's my father and I shut him out."

There was a slight pause as Chad sighed and scratched his head. He was probably angry that his evening of sexy fun had suddenly turned into a therapy session over my daddy issues.

"Sonny, you have no reason to feel guilty," he quickly told me. "This guy claiming to be your dad calls and wants you to meet him? It sounds a bit fishy to me. Either it's someone playing some kind of sick prank or your real dad wants something from you."

I shook my head. "I don't know, Chad. He sounded pretty sincere. He didn't ask for anything when I spoke to him; he just told me he wanted to see me." I was shaking my head and quickly getting very caught up in my own misery.

Chad placed his hands on my shoulders in an effort to gain my attention. "Sonny, this guy isn't worth crying over. Try to forget him. Who knows why he's in the hospital. He probably just needs a kidney donor or something and figured you were a match."

By now my eyes were red, my makeup was running, and I'm certain I probably looked like hell. Worst of all, Chad didn't look very happy. "I really am sorry, Chad-"

"Stop it," he interrupted me. "You've already said that three times now. It's not your fault your asshole dad decided to call up you this evening. Did you really think I was going to get mad at you for this?"

My eyes still burning with tears, I shrugged.

"Geeze, Munroe. That ex of yours really did a number on you," he said in disbelief as he stood up. I wasted no time grabbing my purse and walking towards the door. Whatever Chad had in mind would have to wait: There definitely wouldn't be a magical mystery tour tonight.

My hand reached for the handle when Chad suddenly asked, "Hey, are you hungry? I was going to order in some pizza or something..." I looked up and he shrugged at me.

"I could eat," I admitted. I honestly couldn't remember the last time I had eaten an actual meal and not something out of the vending machine. Right now pizza sounded like fine cuisine.

"Go sit down and relax. I'll order us something. You still eat pineapple on your pizza?" he asked me, his nose wrinkled in disgust. I nodded with a smile. "You can pick out a movie for us to watch while we wait for the pizza. Those guys are always late," he added with an eye roll.

I looked through Chad's vast collection of DVD's, a large fraction of them being ones he would probably never bother to watch. Most of them were action or dramas, with a few chick flicks or children's movies thrown in here and there.

"And you'd better not pick one of those ridiculous vampire movies either," he called from the kitchen.

"I guess that rules out _Bangs and Fangs_," I replied with a smirk.

Finally, I found what I was looking for: My favorite movie of all time. When I looked up, Chad was standing in the doorway watching me.

"I'll have you know that _Tween Weekly _called the _Bangs and Fangs_ one of the best vampire-based teenage television drama spinoff movies of our time."

"Right, the genre that has taken the world by storm," I laughed. "I found one."

"We're not watching _The Princess Bride _again."

I frowned at the video I had cradled against my chest. "How did you...?"

"Sonny, I've known you for five years, and you are so predictable. Every time you're upset you reach for that movie," he said.

"But-"

He smiled as he pulled the movie from my hands. "Okay, you take this home with you. It doesn't even belong in my house. Now pick something that won't completely emasculate me."

I finally inserted _Hancock _into the DVD player and we settled down next to each other on the couch. After two medium pizzas were delivered—one supreme and one ham and pineapple—we dug into our feast. Chad went to the kitchen to grab us some drinks, and came back to offer me a can of beer as I gave him a stupid look.

"You know I don't drink."

With a cocky grin he pulled a can of orange soda out from behind his back and dropped it on my lap before sitting down and popping open his beer.

We spent the rest of the evening watching action flicks and bundling up under a blanket together when his house got a bit drafty. Around midnight, my fatigue started to get the best of me. I fell asleep next to Chad on the couch before the second movie ended, and woke up five hours later with my head resting on his shoulder, which was now covered with my drool.

I quickly sat up, realizing it was morning and the sun was starting to come up. Chad's head tilted against the back of the couch and his mouth hung open as he snored softly. I blushed at the fact that I had been sleeping on him the entire time and he hadn't bothered to wake me. There was no doubt that I had been the first one to fall asleep—I had been fighting it all evening.

I considered waking Chad and telling him to go to bed to prevent him from having a sore neck all day, but thought better of it. He looked so beautiful and peaceful right then, and I knew what a grump he could be in the morning. I shot one last glance towards the blonde-haired boy sleeping on the sofa before I quietly slipped out of his house and drove myself home.

The funny thing was how quickly a Will Smith movie and a room temperature pizza had made me all but forget about my problems that night.


	4. Chapter 4

**WARNING: This chapter gets dirty. The M rating is officially in effect.**

* * *

><p><strong>SOMETIMES ALWAYS<strong>

**::Chapter 4::**

Somehow, sleep never works out the way it's supposed to for me—there's always something getting in the way. Last night it was my impromptu sleepover with Chad. There are better places to spend a night than on a cold leather couch, though Chad's shoulder did make a nice pillow for my head.

I drove home that morning as the sun was rising and never got the chance to go back to sleep. Once I'm up, I'm up. I figured if anything, maybe I could make it to the studio early to get a head start on everything and hopefully leave on time that afternoon. With any luck, I would certainly be ahead of the game today.

Over the past couple of years, my role here at _So Random! _has really changed. I was quickly becoming a regular writer now, which often made for long hours at the studio. Us actors always had a big say in the sketches, but in our earlier years we usually left the specifics to the head writers. Nowadays, Marshall was embracing many of the sketch ideas I had created and scripted myself. Tawni and the others still seemed quite comfortable working only as actors, but I was much enjoying my work in the writing department.

I did manage to get quite a bit of work done early that morning. Tawni showed up at nine o'clock as usual, touching up her makeup first thing when she arrived at the studio.

"I tried to call you last night," she said as she combed her eyelashes in front of the mirror.

"I think I left my cell in the car when I was at Chad's," I replied nonchalantly.

She spun around in her chair. "You were at Chad's? Ahh, that explains the unanswered calls and texts."

I smiled.

"So did you-"

I rolled my eyes. "No, Tawni. I told you we were taking it slow."

"That's the only way you two know," she joked. I guess she had forgotten how we'd decided to forgo the entire dating process and skip straight to the messing around.

"_Anyways_," I went on. "Not much happened last night. We just hung out and watched movies."

Tawni quickly set down her eyelash comb, looking up at me in surprise. "You hung out?"

"Yeah," I said, walking over to my desk and digging for a notebook. "We didn't really hit it off, so he ordered pizza and we just sorta caught up a little."

She stood up, a serious look in her eyes. "Sonny, do you know what this means? You two were on a date last night!"

I frowned. "That's ridiculous Tawni. It was a completely friendly gesture. Haven't you ever had a pizza night with a friend?"

"Uh, yeah. To me that was a pizza night, but to you and Chad, it was a _date_," she assured me while poking her finger in my chest.

"A date?" I asked her. "No way."

"Think about it, Sonny. What did your and Pooper's dates consist of before you broke up? I'm guessing dinner and a movie, and maybe if things really heated up, you'd hold hands on your mom's couch."

I thought about it for a minute. "Shit, you're right! It was a date!"

Tawni sighed as she fixed her already perfect hair in the mirror. "You've made him think there's a chance you'll get back together with him, and remember how Chad acts when he thinks he has a chance," Tawni reminded me. "Remember The Patio when he hired all of his friends to give you a standing ovation? Or the time that Jimmy John's delivery boy started hitting on you and Chad let the air out of his tires?"

My eyes widened at the realization. "Oh god..."

"You'd better put that boy in his place before it's too late," she warned. "He'll be meddling in your life in no time. And when he messes with your life, it indirectly affects mine," Tawni reminded me. "I really don't want to get caught up in this mess you've made. Now that I'm getting married in a few short years, I'm too busy to bother with any of this."

"Well, it's not like I planned it that way!" I exclaimed. "I went over after work to mess around, but I was having this problem with my dad-"

"Wait," Tawni held up her hand for me to stop talking. "You talked to Chad about your problems, too? Don't you get it Sonny, you're practically begging him to try and win you back!"

"What do I do?" I asked quickly. This wasn't supposed to have happened. I didn't wanna ride the slippery slope known as dating Chad again. As much as I enjoyed being with him when we were dating, it didn't take too long for me to realize that some people really don't belong together.

Tawni placed her hand on my back, walking me towards the door. "Do what any smart person does in this situation: It's time to set some ground rules. No nice gestures, no romantic acts, just sex—plain and simple."

"Tawni-"

"Do you _want _him interfering in your life again?"

"No..."

"Then get over there and put a stop to this before it's too late," she told me as she guided me into the hall and shut the door behind me.

I stood in the empty hallway and sighed. _Blast. _She had a point. I hated it when Tawni was right.

**X x**

I really didn't have the nerve to interrupt Chad's table reading with this. But around noon I knew Chad was breaking, so I went to his dressing room to hunt him down. I could hear soft music coming from behind his door, and I took the liberty of letting myself in when there wasn't an answer.

I followed the sound through his closet and into his private bathroom, where I found him standing in front of the mirror wearing nothing but a towel and shaving to The Beatles. He was singing into his razor as he smoothed more shaving cream over his chin.

"_She's a dayyy tripppeerr-"_

"Chad?"

He jumped a mile, flicking the razor into the air as he did so and then quickly reached to turn down his stereo. "Geeze! Ever heard of knocking?"

I giggled at the site of him, his face covered with foam as his eyes wide with fright.

"I did, but you were listening to your music at full volume," I pointed out. I bit my lip as my eyes glided over his slightly chiseled chest, sinking down to where his towel hung low on his hips. "Why are you shaving in the afternoon anyway?"

"Well," he said as he turned back to the mirror, tilting his head back and shaving underneath his chin. "I'm shooting a scene this afternoon for _Mackenzie Falls_ and I tend to get my 5 o'clock shadow a few hours early. I can't have stubble, because, you know..."

"Because Mackenzie is still a teenager," I finished for him. "Chad, how much longer do you think you can play a high school student? Your character has already been to five proms now." It may be true that Chad had a baby face that could definitely still pass as a teenager's, but the show had stretched out his high school years to the point of complete absurdity.

He stopped what he was doing, placing his razor on the bathroom counter and sending me a death glare. "Did you _want_ something, Munroe?"

"Yeah...about last night-"

"Yeah, thanks for soaking my shirt by the way. You'll be getting a dry cleaning bill for that one."

My teeth clinched as my hands balled into tight fists. "Anyways, I think it's important to set some sort of ground rules if we really want this to work."

"Oh Sonny, you can make anything dull," Chad said as he rolled his eyes. "What kind of rules?" he asked as he went back to his shaving.

"Okay first off, this it what it is, okay? Just sex. We _are not_ back together," I said firmly.

Chad shook his head, still staring at himself in the mirror. "You are very presumptuous, did you know that?"

I went on, choosing to ignore him. "That means no PDA, no romantic gestures, and once the deed is done, that's it. We go on about our lives and _never_ speak of it again."

"Except for the mention of it on my blog, of course," he said with a cocky grin. "But don't worry, I'll give you an honest review."

I sighed. "Do we have an understanding?" I asked him.

"So basically, I'm to screw you and never show you any sort of consideration or affection? Got it. Wow, you're going to be easier than I thought," he said, knocking the foam off his razor by tapping it in the sink and then rinsing it off.

"Bye, Chad," I said in a monotonous voice, choosing to leave before he had a chance to become even more insulting. I was on my way out of his dressing room when a notepad sitting on his end table caught my eye. I quickly snapped it up and spun on my heel, marching right back in his bathroom to get to the bottom of things.

"Chad what is it?" I asked him, holding up the notepad for him to see. "And why does it have my dad's name on it?"

He was wiping the leftover shaving residue from his face when his eyes widened at the item in my hand.

"Uh..." He shrugged, biting his top and bottom lips together apprehensively before he continued. "Alright, listen Sonny. When you were talking about this guy calling you up yesterday and trying to get you to meet him, the whole story just screamed stalker to me. I've been through the whole stalker thing a few times, so I know the telltale signs of it. I didn't want to freak you out last night by saying anything though."

I stared at him, still confused. Chad took it as a his cue to finish. "Anyways, I talked to your receptionist this morning and had the call traced. I was just worried for your safety. There are some real creeps out there," he informed me, trying to play down the awkwardness of his actions.

"Chad, you didn't have to do that-" I began.

"Someone had to, Sonny. You obviously weren't going to look into it yourself, am I right?" he asked.

"Well..." I began. "I guess not," I admitted. "Well, what did you find out?"

Chad licked his lips and stared at me, as if trying to decide whether or not he should tell me the details of the information he had dug up. "The call came from a place called Mercy Memorial Hospital in Sloan, Nevada. I called and they confirmed that they have a patient named Darryl Munroe there. That's your dad right?"

My mouth went agape at the information. "Y-yeah, that's him..." Then it hit me. "So it wasn't a prank. It really was my dad that called."

Chad's slowly nodded. "Yeah. He's been in there for the better part of a month. They told me what room he was staying in and everything, but they couldn't give me any information on his condition. I even lied and told them I was his nephew and they still refused."

"Were you going to tell me any of this, Chad?" I asked him.

He gave me a guilty look. "Well... I don't know. I really just wanted to make sure this guy is who he said he was and not someone who was trying to hurt you," he admitted. "I guess I didn't know what I was going to do with the information once I found it. Are you...pissed at me now?" he asked me, causing me to look up at him in alarm.

Chad had pried into my personal life. This was exactly what I had come to his dressing room to prevent, but somehow I found it difficult to get angry at him. He was snooping into parts of my life he had no business knowing, but he was doing it because he thought I might be in trouble. I wasn't exactly happy about his little investigation, but I couldn't very well get mad at him for caring either.

"I guess not," I told him, and he looked relieved when I did. "But...can I keep this?" I asked him, referring to the piece of paper containing the name and number of the hospital and my dad's room number .

His eyes went to the paper before looking up and meeting mine. "I don't think it's such a good idea."

"What! Why not?" I asked him, exasperated. "He's who he says he is and he wants to meet me. What's wrong with that?"

Chad put his towel down and moved to stand in front of me. "Sonny, why on earth would your dad bother to call you after 10 years of not knowing you? He wants something. Just because he's your dad and he's in the hospital doesn't mean he still isn't capable of hurting you," he explained in a serious tone.

I rolled my eyes. "My own dad wouldn't hurt me," I argued. "You're being ridiculous."

"Sonny, please," he said, his face holding a serious expression. "His chance to know you has passed. This isn't a risk worth taking. He's just found out that you're on television, and he's going to use it to his advantage somehow, whether it be for money or notoriety."

I stared into his deep blue pleading eyes for a few moments, finally deciding to tell him what he wanted to hear. I nodded. "Fine," I agreed, wadding the piece of paper up and pretending to throw it into the wastebasket before sneaking it into my back pocket. I began to exit the bathroom, but turned around before I did.

"Chad?" I asked him, causing him to look back up. "Umm...tonight I'll be leaving on time and..." I suddenly felt my face blush at my request, but Chad simply cracked a grin.

"Come over. I'll be waiting," he said with a smirk. I smiled softly at him before turning to leave.

**X x**

It was about 6:30 when I pulled up to Chad's place. The lights in his house were off, but I had told him I was coming over right after work so I could only assume that he was at home. After ringing the doorbell, however, I still stood alone on the porch. With a sigh, I checked the time on my phone, wondering if he had become impatient and went out to find something else to do.

I twisted the doorknob and, miraculously, it moved. Certainly Chad wouldn't have left his vacant house unlocked? I had just stepped foot into his kitchen when a pair of arms suddenly wrapped around me, causing me to emit a blood-curdling scream.

"Calm down, Munroe," Chad quickly said when I moved to hit him. "It's just me."

"Chad! Why in the hell would you do that to me? I thought you were going to murder me or something!" I yelled at him while trying to regain my composure in the process. I really had come a bit too close to peeing myself.

He laughed and I punched him in the chest. "Owe," he said with a frown. "I was just getting back at you for this morning."

"That was _so _not funny," I said, my blood still pumping through my body at full force.

He chuckled. "Maybe not to you."

Still feeling a bit enraged, I lunged towards Chad to release my wrath on him, but he caught my arms in the process and pulled me closer to his body. "I like it when you're pissed," he whispered into my ear.

"Well, you must like me a lot right now."

He chuckled as he took my hand, leading me up the stairs and down a hallway to the master bedroom at the end of the hall. As we walked through the doorway, I stared with some anxiety at the king-size bed in the middle of the room. I wasn't quite sure what Chad had in mind for tonight and whether or not I was completely ready for it.

"We'll only go as far as you feel comfortable with," Chad assured me when he noticed how apprehensive I was. "I'm not going to pressure you into doing anything you don't want to."

He stared at me for a moment, then shrugged. His demeanor certainly did put me at ease about all of this. He offered me a genuine smile, and his lips were becoming more and more impossible to resist.

I smiled as I grasped him by the front of his t-shirt, suddenly pulling him forward and kissing him hard. He tumbled back slightly as the force of our two bodies met. However, once he regained his balance, his arms instinctively wrapped around me as our movements became more passionate. Our hands were roaming each other's bodies, and before I knew it, we were falling onto the mattress. His hands soon came down to grasp the bottom hem of my shirt, quickly pulling it over my head. After disposing of my garment half-hazardly across the room, Chad's fingers began to frantically search the back strap of my bra for some sort of opening.

"This thing is like Fort Knox," he complained as I giggled at his frustration.

"The clasp is in the front," I finally told him, and he moved his fingers to the place between my breasts, unclasping it with ease.

"They should make them all like this," he commented, leaning down to kiss my neck as he opened the bra and pushed it off my shoulders.

I quickly blushed now that I was topless and completely exposed to Chad's roaming eyes. It was the first time I had ever let a boy see me half-naked. I timidly wrapped my arms around myself, but Chad gently guided them away.

"What do you have to be embarrassed about, Munroe?" he asked. "You're beautiful."

I smiled at his comment, remembering all of the self-conscious moments I had shared with Julian when he told me not to be so caught up in my looks. He had never told me I was beautiful, but Chad simply made me _feel _beautiful.

The obstructive piece of clothing now removed, Chad's hands gently came to cup my breasts and I sighed as he leaned down to take a nipple into his mouth. I closed my eyes as I took in the sensation of his fingers gently kneading one breast as he nipped a sucked at the other. I let out a soft moan as he slowly brought his hand down my stomach and reached for the waistband of my skirt. However, I quickly sat up as his hands met the fabric, as he looked at me uncomfortably.

"Sonny?"

I bit my lip. He wasn't getting away with being fully-clothed for another second.

Without answering him, I quickly removed the t-shirt he was wearing, gliding my hands over the strong chest I had been thinking about since this afternoon. His muscles tensed under my hands and I explored every nook and cranny of his toned torso with my lips, placing wet kisses down his stomach and across his broad shoulders. It was everything I had imagined and more. Chad had an _awesome _bod.

He let out a lustful sigh, looking down as he watched me become quite acquainted with his body.

I moved up to lie atop him, our bare chests squished together as I kissed his chin and neck. As our lips met again, his arms came around me, smoothing down the bare skin of my back and up the sides of my breasts. I could feel him quickly growing hard against me, which I admit I found slightly alarming. I started to realize how inexperienced I was in all of this, and it was starting to make me a bit self-conscious.

But I swallowed my nervousness. Right now it all felt too good to back out.

His arousal now having grown to epic proportions, Chad must have been feeling impatient, because he promptly turned me over so that I was lying on the bed. He quickly reached down to the waistband of my skirt again and removed it in one swift motion before hooking his fingers into the sides of my panties. I moved to stop him as I felt the undergarment being removed. "Chad!" I exclaimed nervously.

"Sorry, sorry," he quickly apologized. "Moving too fast?"

I nodded. "I just don't think I can-I just don't-" I began to blubber. I had a feeling that right now he was ready to have sex, but I wasn't sure how to tell him I was scared without sounding ridiculous. I'm the one who had initiated this after all.

"We won't go all the way tonight," he assured me with honest blue eyes. "I know you're not ready yet."

"Thanks." I replied softly.

Our lips connected as Chad loomed over me, his area of arousal poking prominently at my lower abdomen. Realizing how much he was straining against his denim jeans, I reached up to unbutton them, pushing them off of his legs and accidentally brushing lightly against him in the process. Chad let out a deep groan at my inadvertent touch, causing me to smile at my little blunder.

"Chad?" I asked him as he nipped at my neck.

"Hmm...?"

I quickly pushed him back against the mattress, causing him to stare at me in confusion. With a mischievous smile on my lips, I gripped the waistband of his boxers, tugging on it. Our eyes connected and he soon realized what I was about to do.

"Sonny, you really don't have to...I mean if it makes you uncomfortable..." His voice was filled with need, but I could tell at the same time he was trying hard not to pressure me. My lips pursed together. "Okay," I shrugged, letting go of the waistband and letting the elastic snap back against him. He stared at me in horror as I cracked a smile at him, leaning forward to take his earlobe between my lips. "I'm just messing with you, Chad," I whispered, my hand slowly gliding down his chest and reaching under his boxers to grasp him.

He shuddered at my touch, letting out a gasp as my fingers curled around him before pulling him up over the edge of his boxers. I have to be honest, I pretty much had no idea what I was doing. When I came to the article about this sort of thing in _Cosmo, _I always flipped past it to the one on recycling purses. But as my hand began pumping him, Chad grasped my wrist and guided me in a rhythmic motion. Before long, his hands gently let go of their grasp on mine, and his groans of pleasure reassured me that I was doing just fine.

"Oh fuck..." he moaned as I worked him harder, faster. He threw his head back, letting out another deep groan.

I was gaining steam, and Chad soon quickly pushed my hand away as he released over the front of his shorts. I was in surprise for a moment over what had just happened—I _knew _how this would end, I guess it was the fact that I had just experienced it firsthand for the first time. If Chad noticed my temporary discomfort, he didn't show it. He quickly removed the now soiled undergarment and wiped himself clean before tossing it aside.

"Tsk, tsk. What a mess you've made," I told him, shaking my head. The uneasiness of the situation soon passed, and he grinned as he turned back to me, pinning me down to the mattress with his body and planting a quick kiss on my lips. "And here I thought you had no clue what you were doing," he whispered, leaving a trail of kisses across my collar bone, along the valley between my breasts, and down my stomach. His warm breath tickled against my lower abdomen as the eagerness of what was about to happen set in.

Before I knew it, his hand was rubbing me softly through my panties, causing my back to arch as I began to grow moist against him. His thumb gently caressed the crease of my leg as I sighed. "Chad...?"

He smiled as I stared at him with pleading eyes. "You want me to touch you?" he asked, realizing I was too embarrassed to say it myself. I quickly nodded. "You're so bashful, Munroe," he said with a smirk, the palm of his hand gliding underneath the thin, cotton material of my panties as I moaned. His fingers passed over me as his pointer finger entering me slightly. I shuddered and my back arched as I pulled him into a kiss.

"Mmmm..." I let out a deep throaty moan against his lips that made his eyes widen.

I guess that did it for him, because my panties were quickly removed and he began to stroke me quickly and deeply, allowing a finger to slip fully inside of me. The feeling of his warm, experienced hands against my vestal skin was enough to send me over the edge.

"Oh my god," I breathed at the intense pleasure of it all. "Don't...stop..." I managed with a death grip on his shoulders. My chest rose as I closed my eyes, focusing solely on his fingers moving against me. At that point, he could have went on forever and it still wouldn't have been enough. His head ducked towards my apex of my thighs, causing me to tense up a bit. I quickly grabbed his shoulders and pushed him away.

"Chad, what are you doing?" I asked apprehensively.

He smiled "Trust me, it won't hurt," he assured me, bringing his face between my legs as his tongue darted over the extra-sensitive area in intense need of pleasure. My legs separated at the feeling of Chad's warm and moist tongue working against me. My hands went to his head, my fingers weaving through his hair as he licked, sucked, and nipped me, causing me to moan and whimper at the overly-intense feeling. Soon his fingers joined in, working in unison. It felt like nothing else I had ever experienced—an overwhelming sense of pleasure that surged through my entire body.

"Chad...I-I..." my breaths became labored and I found myself incapable of speaking.

I don't know what came over me, but it was becoming increasingly difficult for me to control my actions. I finally let out a scream as I pulled him forward, urging him deeper inside of me. Gasping as I climaxed, my hands relaxed from their place entwined his his blonde locks. Finally, all of the tension that had built up inside of me began to unfurl, and I fell back against the pillow behind me.

Chad sat up, staring down at me with shining eyes. And suddenly, I felt stupid.

"I really didn't mean to scream like that..." I told him, my cheeks burning with embarrassment.

He leaned down to smooth my now messy hair from my face. "Don't be embarrassed. You couldn't help it—I'm just that awesome."

Chad looked quite proud of himself, smiling before his head collapsed atop my breast.

"Chad?" I asked him, looking down at him as I ran my fingers through his hair.

"Hmm?"

"We should have done this a long time ago."

He laughed, finally standing up and moving to retrieve a fresh pair of boxers from his bureau drawer.

I lie there for a minute, confused about what was supposed to happen next. Chad had just given me my first orgasm; it was the most intimate moment I had ever shared with anyone. Now what? Was I supposed to spend the night? If this were a normal relationship, it would be a definite yes. But after the talk I'd had with Chad this afternoon about this all being "just sex," it didn't seem right. As much as I would have liked to lie back down on that bed snuggle against his warm chest for the rest of the night, I knew I couldn't.

I moved to find my underwear, uncovering the crumpled fabric at the end of the bed. I quickly dressed myself and was tugging on my skirt when Chad collapsed back into his bed, watching me intently.

"It's late. I should get home now," I told him as I slipped my shoes back on and made for the door. And I'd have to admit, up and leaving after what we had just did probably felt just as awkward as if I had stayed the night.

"Sonny?" I stopped when I heard him call after me. He paused for a minute as his brows drew together. "Drive safe, okay?" he finally said.

And with a nod, I left.


	5. Chapter 5

**SOMETIMES ALWAYS**

**::Chapter 5::**

Okay, spill time. I _loovvee _road trips. The longer, the better. I just plug in my iPod and jam out the entire drive, stopping at gas stations for various confections along the way (64 ounce drink, I think so!). But today's road trip would be long and my destination wasn't a very exciting place—I was driving to Nevada to visit my father in the hospital.

After having slammed the phone down on him only one week prior, I decided it was best to show up unannounced. My things were packed for my day trip, and all I had to do was stop by the studio along the way and give Marshall my finished script for next week's sketch.

"Hey Sonny," Tawni said nonchalantly as I stopped in in our dressing room before taking off.

"What's up?"

She shrugged. Something was getting her down today, but I was in too much of a hurry to counsel her on it. "Not much. I'm just looking over this invite for Chad's party tonight," she said with a sigh.

I paused what I was doing. "Chad's having a party?"

And suddenly, Tawni's mood brightened significantly. "Oh, didn't you know?" she asked with a smile.

"Apparently not."

"Oh, well he does this party every year at his place," she started. "Only _certain _people are invited. This is my first year on his list. I thought for certain he would invite you, considering you jerked him off just last week."

I shuddered. "Tawni, I told you that in confidence. Now _never _mention it again."

Okay, so maybe I had filled in Tawni on some of the minute details of our evening together. She was overly interested, and I really needed advice. It seemed Tawni had done just about everything with her beau in bed, and on camera no less.

She shrugged. "He's just keeping his social life and his sex life separate is all. Maybe he's got his eye on someone and having you there would just complicate things." It seemed like an innocent enough remark, but I felt a pang in my stomach.

"Right," I agreed, my face falling. "Well, I'm going to be out of town today and won't be back until late anyhow."

"Suit yourself," she said. "The party doesn't start until 11 pm anyway. It's an all night party. You know? The type where certain someones might hook up." The thought of Chad being with a someone despite our tryst was making me angry, so I decided to leave without another word. As I rounded the corner to the exit, I ran into someone at full speed.

"Oof," Chad said, his pile of papers scattering across the floor. He quickly braced my elbows to steady me as I rocked unsteadily on my feet. It had been awhile since we'd spoken, and my skin tingled somewhat at his touch.

"Geeze, what's the hurry?" he asked me as he leaned down to pick up the papers he had dropped.

I sighed. "I'm sorry Chad," I told him and I knelt down to help him. "I have a long drive ahead of me today and I-"

Suddenly he stopped what he was doing and stared at me suspiciously. "Where are you going?"

My eyes widened when I realized what I had said. "Oh, nowhere. Just visiting an old friend," I quickly told him, passing him a messy stack of papers. "I'm late. I really have to go!" I waved at him, leaving before he had the chance to interrogate me.

**X x**

The drive was a long one, but also pretty scenic. I've never been to Nevada other than just flying over on my way to California. I stopped at a small candy store I spotted along the way, picking up a bag of candy I remembered being my dad's favorite.

Once I got into town and let my GPS guide me to the hospital, I began to feel an overwhelming sense of nervousness. I would be meeting my own father for the first time in 10 years. What was I even supposed to say to him? I felt quite discomposed as I approached the nurse's station on my dad's floor.

"I'm looking for Darryl Munroe." My voice shook as I spoke, the the middle-aged bottle blonde behind the desk smiled sweetly at me. "He's in room 507. You're his daughter aren't you?"

I nodded. "How did you know?"

She walked out from behind the desk, placing the palm of her hand on my shoulder as she guided me down the hall. "He's been wanting to see you so badly. We've become quite familiar with your show," she added with a wink.

We stopped in front of the door of his room. "I'll give you two some time together. Last I checked, he was sleeping. Just give 'em a nudge and don't worry, he's slept quite enough for today."

With a smile, I nodded, slowly opening the door to my father's room.

There sat an old man in his hospital bed—head full of gray curls, a beard that probably hadn't been trimmed in years, and a bulging beer belly that looked like it belonged on a pregnant woman. His bed was in an upright position, his head hanging forward as he slept sitting up. He didn't look like I remembered him, but to be fair, I really didn't remember much about the man other than he once had a dark head of hair. I recalled the fact that he was only seven years my mom's senior, but somehow he looked so much older than that.

I moved the metal chair at his side to sit down, the legs of the chair squeaking across the floor as I did. This was enough to wake the old man, causing him to startle and and hold his head upright. He rubbed his weary eyes and stared at my curiously.

"Baby girl?" he asked me in disbelief, his voice coarse and raspy.

I smiled, my cheeks flushing slightly. "I had the day off, so I decided to drive up."

"That's great. I'm glad you did." There was an short pause as we stared at each other, before he finally said, "How about a little squeeze for your old man?" As awkward as it was, I obliged, my father burying his face in my shoulder and holding me longer than I would've expected or even liked. Finally, I stood up, releasing my grasp on him and pulling the bag of sugary confections from my purse.

"Umm, I brought you something. I hope you still like them," I told him, digging the bag of Maple Nut Goodies from my purse and handing them to him.

"Well," he said with a smile, his voice still rough. "They still make this things, huh? The nurses usually don't let me have candy, so this is just between you and me."

I nodded. "Uh, you're not diabetic, are you?" Last thing I needed to be giving a diabetic man in the hospital was a bag of high fructose corn syrup.

"Not really," he answered me, and before I could ask him what that meant, he quickly pulled a shoebox off of his bedside table. "I have something to show you," he told me, digging through the box and handing me a photo.

"Oh my gosh."

My face lit up at what I saw—a photo of me and my father sitting on his old motorcycle. I remembered the bike well, mostly because it sat in our garage until we had moved out to LA. But I also had a lot of fond memories of rides on the bike when my mother wasn't around to find out. She had always hated the thing, dubbing it "a killer cycle."

"I thought you'd get a kick out of that."

I smiled. "You have more?"

He nodded, placing the shoebox of photos on my lap. There were a lot more. Photos of my father and I and even some of my mom. Photos I thought were long lost—he had taken them all with him when he'd left. Then I came across one of my childhood dog.

"Queenie," I said with a giggle, holding up the photograph of the old, decrepit herding dog. "I can't believe mom sent her to a farm to have puppies."

Dad gave me a doubtful look. "You're so grown up, but you still believe there's a farm where dogs go to have puppies, eh?" he asked me with a playful smile.

I laughed. "It's a happier memory than the truth," I pointed out.

Much like the time I told everyone at school my dad had joined the National Guard when he all of a sudden left town. I shook that feeling, realizing how much I was enjoying myself right now and that thinking those sort of things would most definitely kill my good mood.

When I looked up at my father, I realized he was staring at me. "You've turned out to be quite the young lady," he said with a grin. "The nurses and I watch your show every week now. I don't understand a lot of it, but it's nice to see you."

I smiled. "Yeah? Believe it or not, kids love farting dogs though."

I leaned his head back and gave a hearty laugh. "Throw the word 'poop' or 'butt' in any joke and kids will laugh."

I smiled. "It's really stuffy in here. Do you wanna go outside for awhile?" I asked him, acknowledging the beautiful courtyard that surrounded the hospital. "Are you allowed to?"

He nodded. "Lemme hollar at the nurses right quick," he said, pulling on his robe.

**X x**

"This is actually a really nice hospital," I told my dad as I pushed his chair underneath the shade of a tree and took a seat on a park bench at his side. "The ones in LA hardly have any sort of greenery around them."

My dad nodded, reaching into his robe to retrieve a package. "Yep, it's nice, but nothing beats home," he told me as he revealed the pack of cigarettes in his hand, tapping them on his leg before opening them up. Then he stuck one in his mouth and then lit it with a match.

My eyes widened. "Umm, you're not supposed to be smoking are you? I mean, if you're sick enough to be in the hospital, maybe you should lay off the cancer sticks."

He simply smiled at my comment. "Don't worry, these babies aren't gonna send me to my grave any sooner."

I frowned as I watched him exhale a lungful of smoke. He wasn't exactly the picture of health; obviously the cigarettes weren't helping him out any.

"Really? Because you know they've done studies on it."

He laughed. Laughing seemed to be the answer to everything for my father. He seemed so light-hearted, considering his current situation.

"So," I said uncertainly. "You never did answer my question. Why are you here anyway?"

He clutched his cigarette between his teeth as he moved to tie his robe tighter. "Pancreatic problems."

"So you _are_ a diabetic?" I asked him, making a mental note to dispose of the candy as soon as we got up to his room.

He shook his head. "Pancreatitis. Doc says I gotta stop drinking so much."

I bit my lip. So my father was an alcoholic? My mom had never spoken to me about whatever problem had driven him out of our lives. She would assure me everyday that I wasn't the one to blame, but I still needed to feel that closure as to _why _he had suddenly left.

"So, are you in AA or something? When's that last time you've drank?"

He waved his hand, dismissing me. "They don't serve liquor in the hospital. I can't say that wouldn't be interesting though. Don't worry, that's all in the past. Once you go two weeks eating all of your meals through an IV, it really puts things into perspective."

I nodded. One would think not speaking to your only daughter for 10 years would, but perhaps a hot meal was more important than I was? I could feel tears stinging my eyes as I watched my father puff his coffin nail, completely oblivious to what he'd just said.

"Umm, well, I should really hit the road now," I told him. I couldn't sit there any longer and discuss this with him without bursting into tears.

He quickly put his cigarette out on the bottom of his slipper. "Already now? You drove all this way. Why not stay the afternoon?"

I sighed. "I-I can't. My friend is having this party tonight...I promised him I would go," I lied. I had no intention of showing up at Chad's party. After all, I hadn't even been invited in the first place.

"Oh."

He didn't argue my decision, but I could tell he was upset. I rolled him back up to his room, helping him into his bed and covering him with a blanket.

"Thanks baby girl. Maybe you'll come see me again?" he asked hopefully.

I offered him a faint smile. "Maybe."

"I won't be here next week, but I'll be staying at a little hotel in town," he informed me as he scribbled down the address. "If you ever need me for anything, or just to talk, you're always welcome."

"Thanks," I told him, sticking the paper in my purse and then turning to leave.

The same blond-haired nurse caught me by the arm when I was making my way to the elevator. "Thank you so much for visiting him. You're all he can talk about," she said with a smile. "I can't tell you how much this meant to him."

I smiled. "So, he's getting out of here next week. He's getting better, right?" I wanted her to say yes. I wanted to know my dad would be fine so I wouldn't have to guilt myself into visiting him again. But instead her smile faded.

"You're dad is a very ill man. We admitted him for acute pancreatitis. This really isn't something that just goes away. He's also a hard core alcoholic. There's no cure for the root of his disease, other than a lot of self-control, abuse counseling, and a complete change in lifestyle."

"He said he hasn't drank since he's been here. That's, what? A month? Surely he's cleaned himself out and kicked the habit by now?" I asked her.

Her lips pursed together. "That's the problem, Sonny. It takes a lot more than that to overcome what has essentially been a lifetime habit for your father. As soon as he's outside of these four walls, falling back on old times is a little too easy. He needs a lot of moral support to get through this. He's planning on attending meetings, but I've seen too many patients who've given up on themselves."

"And if he drinks again?" I asked her, feeling the color fading from my face.

"There's an almost absolute chance that he won't pull through," she told me, matter-of-factly. "I'm not trying to upset you, I just want you to prepare yourself for what could happen."

I drove home, having mixed feelings about this whole incident. My dad was a warm and loving man, but also a very selfish one. Too think my entire childhood I was playing second fiddle to a bottle of whiskey was getting me depressed. And for some reason, when I pulled off the interstate, my car began to head in the direction of Chad's place.

I needed someone and Chad was the only one who seemed to care what I was going through right now.

When I arrived, his house was bustling with activity. I parked my car out front among the many already sitting outside and made my way to the door. Little did I know that what I was going to witness that night in Chad's townhouse would be quickly sending me along the same path my father had taken many years ago.

Let me just say this: Munroes and alcohol don't mix.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **I know, not a lot of Channy here, but it was essential for the story line. But worry not, the next chapter will be Channyful. Yup.


	6. Chapter 6

**SOMETIMES ALWAYS**

**::Chapter 6::**

When I let myself through Chad's front door, I stood in awe of just how many people he could fit in his place. There were people everywhere—drinking in the kitchen, dancing in the living room, making out in the foyer. Some of them I recognized from Condor Studios; others I knew as close and personal friends of Chad's. And, of course, the entire cast of _Mackenzie Falls_ was there. I instantly noticed Tawni sitting in the corner alone, red plastic cup in hand.

"When you said this was going to be a big party, you weren't kidding," I told her.

She smiled at me a bit, and I could tell she was already buzzing. "Little Miss Sunshine crashed a party! And a drinking party, no less. Hell has most certainly frozen over!" she exclaimed over the loud, thumping music.

I shrugged. "I was having a shitty day."

She took me by the arm and led me into the kitchen. "And you know what a shitty day needs? Shots!"

My eyes widened. "No...No, Tawni! You know I don't drink."

She sighed. "Suit yourself," she told me as she let Ferguson pour her a shot of...whatever it was. I'm not exactly an expert on this sort of thing.

"Tawni, where's Brandon? I thought he was coming."

And with that, she downed the shot with one long gulp. "Don't know. Don't care."

I decided drunk Tawni was too difficult to talk to, so I set out to find Chad. And boy did I. There he was in the middle of the living room, some blonde-haired teenage girl grinding against him. Well, she _looked _like a teenager anyhow. Actually, she looked like Chad's female counterpart: Blue eyes, blonde hair, long legs. You get it.

I stood watching as Chad pulled out his best dance moves and began doing the water sprinkler. Suddenly I remembered why we didn't dance much while we were going out. I decided he must be happy or inebriated or _something_. The majority of his guests were already plastered anyway, so I really doubted people would remember much about this moment.

But not me. I was as sober as sober could be.

The girl giggled as the song ended, then leaned forward to whisper something in his ear. And that's when they went upstairs alone. I know I wasn't supposed to get upset about this, but it felt as if someone had just stuck a dagger into my heart and then cruelly twisted it. The thought of Chad messing around with someone else was killing me.

My eyes began to sting, and that's when I made for the door.

"Leaving already?" Tawni asked, swaying and cradling her bottle of Zima against her like it was a baby. She frowned as my bottom lip began to quiver.

"Sonny?" Even this drunk, she could tell there was something wrong.

"I hate my life."

Putting her hand on my shoulder, she led me back into the kitchen. "Get her something strong," she told Ferguson. And that's what started the most forgettable night of my entire life. I'm speaking literally here.

**X x**

"I don't know what I did wrong, you know?" I told her. "He seemed to like it, but I guess I'm not good enough for him. Let's face it, my opportunity passed years ago." Well, maybe I was drunk ranting, but at least I wasn't on the verge of tears anymore.

"Men are dogs," Tawni agreed.

"It's just gross, you know? That he's screwing two girls at once. Well, technically right now he's only screwing one, but you get my jest," I scowled into my cup.

"Men are dogs," she said again. Tawni seemed to be doing some self-loathing, too. There was definitely a problem in Tawni Town.

I stood up and walked back into the kitchen were Ferguson was still standing. "More Coke and rum, hold the Coke," I told him.

He grinned a little at me. "I'm gonna have to cut you off. Chad specifically told me to make sure no one leaves here in a body bag."

"I can handle it."

He wrinkled his nose at me. "I doubt that."

But before he could deny my request again, I swiped the entire bottle of rum from him and headed for the bathroom. I don't know how much I'd had to drink by then, but my bladder was about to burst.

I tripped through the door and sat on the toilet for some while, holding the bottle of rum and reflecting sadly over my life. I didn't have a boyfriend, my mom was moving clear across the country, and my alchy dad thought he belonged in my life for some reason.

And then there was Chad. I don't even know where this thing with Chad was going. For some reason, over the past couple of weeks, I had subconsciously made him mine. I hadn't meant to—honestly I didn't—but it was hard to imagine him with anyone else right now. It just wasn't right.

But he was upstairs, screwing out some perky little blonde's brains right now. And, since I doubted _she _was still a virgin, he was probably having the time of his life. I wiped away a tear. Tomorrow Chad would walk into this bathroom to find I had died just like Elvis: Dead on a toilet.

It was time to get the hell out of here.

I hung my head as I walked towards the exit, squeezing through the crowd before running square into someone's nice, firm chest.. I dropped the bottle on the carpet, looking up at Chad as my eyes glazed over.

"Sonny?" he stared back at me, surprised. How many more times was I gonna literally run into this guy today?

"I'm going home," I told him, but I'm pretty sure the words came out slurred.

"Sonny, you're drunk," he said in disbelief with wide eyes. "How long have you been here?"

"How long have you been cheating on me?" I quickly retorted with a frown. "I'm not drunk. I'm going home, now move..." I said, trying to push past him.

"Wha...?" His jaw went slack and he frowned. "Sonny, this is the linen closet. The door to outside is on the other end of the house."

I frowned. "Shit. I guess you're right. I am drunk." I buried my face into my hands and sighed. This day had gone from bad to worse. "I need to get out of here."

Chad grasped my wrists and moved my hands from my face, studying me with concern. "Hey, I can't let you drive drunk," he told me. "Everyone here had to bring a designated driver, and you're obviously alone so-"

"Oh, rub it in! Sonny Munroe can't get a date. I get it. Nice Chad, real nice," I told him, wobbling as I leaned down to grab the bottle of rum off the floor before bringing it back to my lips. Chad quickly intercepted the move and pulled the bottle from my grasp.

"That's not what I meant," he began. "Now lets get you upstairs," he told me as he took my arm, walking me slowly up the steps. I fell down a couple of times on the way up, but Chad easily helped me up when I did. He showed me into the guest room, opening a drawer in the dresser and digging out an oversized t-shirt. "You can wear thi-"

And that's the point where I cut him off with a wet, sloppy kiss. He quickly pushed me away at arms length when I did.

"Sonny, what the hell!"

I frowned. "What, am I not enough woman for you? Or did you just get your fill with that blonde skank?" I went to plop down on the bed, but missed it by a foot and fell back into the nightstand, slamming my head hard against it.

"Oh god!" Chad said loudly as he jumped to help me. He quickly gathered me into his arms, lifting me from the floor and placing me on the guest bed. "Shit, are you okay?" he asked as he pushed back my hair to inspect that damage.

"No, I'm not okay." My head was throbbing and I felt like crap. "I don't like it. I don't like it at all." He frowned in confusion before his face contorted to a look of fear.

"Sonny, your scalp is bleeding," he said, his voice getting high. He ran to get a wet washcloth from the guest bathroom as I fell back against the mattress. "Is it because she's skinnier than me? Or is it the blonde hair? You want your kids to have blonde hair, don't you?"

He soon returned with the clothe, turning me onto my side and pressing it firmly against my head. It stung a little, but the booze did a nice job of dulling the pain. "It doesn't look too bad," he said, relieved. "Just a small cut. I don't think you need stitches or anything."

I rolled over and stared up at him. His eyes met mine and his expression softened.

"Sonny, I have no clue what you're talking about," he finally said. "Do you mean Claire? The girl I was with earlier?"

"Claire," I repeated, the name venomously rolling of my tongue. "I bet she gives you BJ's, huh?"

He sighed heavily. "No, she doesn't_ '_give me BJ's.' She's just a friend," he quickly said. "She's the newest cast member on _The Falls,_ and I wanted to make her feel welcome-"

"Pfft. I bet," I said as I looked away, but Chad quickly cupped my chin and brought my eyes back to his.

"Nothing. Happened," he said, sincerely. "She got sick from having a bit too much to drink, so I put her up in the other guest room."

"Really?" He could have been lying to me, I suppose; but I wanted to believe him, so I did.

"Yes, _really. _And you are enough woman for me. You're...amazing. I know this isn't a relationship or anything, but I honestly wouldn't do that to you. Believe it or not, I don't bring random women home and have sex with them." Chad sighed as he looked down at his lap.

Without much thought, I sat up and grasped the collar of his shirt, pulling him against me to kiss him. This time, surprisingly, he obliged. The wash clothe was thrown to the side as Chad's arms encircled my waist. He held me close to his warm chest as our bodies contoured to each other.

It had meant to be something sweet, something tender, but it quickly turned into something much more.

My hands clumsily removed his shirt from his body and I ran my hands up his chest needfully as our lips began to move roughly together. Chad pulled away for a second to unzip the back of my dress, sending it to the floor.

I couldn't wait another second, and I'm pretty sure he couldn't, either.

"_Shit,"_ he breathed as I grabbed him through the crotch of his pants. His hands came up to roam over my breasts as I moaned softly into his mouth. Soon I was pushing him back onto the mattress forceably before crawling atop to straddle him. Chad wasted no time in bringing his hands up my stomach and chest before moving them around to my back and unclasping my bra, pulling it quickly away.

"Sonny, you're all that I need_,"_ he promised, his hands supporting my heavy breasts as he sucked a hardened nipple into his mouth.

I closed my eyes as I felt him pepper kisses over my breasts before taking the other nipple between his lips.

"You're so perfect," he said when he had pulled away, his voice filled with desire.

I leaned forward, kissing him hard as he pulled me tightly against him. We were very quickly getting wrapped up in our moment together. I didn't care about anything else at that point. It didn't matter if there were presently 50 drunken kids downstairs, or that I had been saving this moment for the past 19 years, or that Chad probably had no protection with him. I was too drunk to care and to aroused to turn him away.

"Ch-Chad." I trembled as his hands traveled down to the place between my legs, letting a finger slide up my inner thigh and underneath my panties to stroke me. I melted at his touch. "Faster...Oh god, go faster." My stomach clenched as I buried my face in the crook of his neck, my hips bucking with each stroke.

Finally pulling my panties down, he held me against his chest with his free arm as he obliged. Biting his lip, Chad's fingers worked quickly against of me. No longer feeling any urge to suppress myself, I moaned deeply as he thrusted them inside of me, making my back arch as I whimpered. The tension in my body began to build up rapidly and I gripped his shoulders tightly as his fingers plunged more quickly inside of me. Panting heavily, I finally climaxed, screaming his name as he quickly pulled me forward and kissed me to mumble my words. The house was still filled with guests after all, not that I cared about any of them at that particular moment. I collapsed atop him, breathing hard against his skin.

With a cocky smile, he placed his finger over my lips. "You're loud, Munroe," he whispered as he held me, burying his face him my hair.

I sighed in satisfaction. "You're amazing. You're so amazing," I assured him, kissing down his chest and stomach to the waistband of his jeans.

Being so drunk must have made me feel adventurous, considering what happened next. I quickly sunk down to the end of the bed, unbuttoning his jeans and pulling them and is boxers off his legs in unison. Chad was standing fully erect and I rubbed my hands up the inside of his thighs as I moved up his legs, grasping him before pulling him into my mouth.

The act was an unexpected one which caused him to gasp out in pleasure.

"Oh fuck, Sonny..." his hips bucked as my lips wrapped around him, remembering the stories Tawni had told me that I swore I'd never experience myself. The fact that he was groaning lustfully at my actions only turned me on more. I covered as much of him as I could, sucking hard and stopping from time to time to run my tongue across the tip of him.

He glanced down at me with an expression of lust and surprise. His fingers came down to stroke my hair, encouraging me to keep going. When I felt that he was getting close, I sat up.

"Chad, I need you," I told him breathlessly. "Please." I couldn't wait any more. I needed to feel him inside of me. I needed to make Chad mine once and for all.

His eyes stared up at me with slight guilt and desire as I sat at the end of his bed, naked, begging him to make love to me. His mouth went slightly agape, as if he were thinking hard about something. And finally, he spoke.

"I-I can't."

I lie back down on top of him, our naked bodies pressing together. "Of course you can," I told him, kissing him again. But his lips didn't move.

"Sonny, you're drunk. You're _so_ drunk."

"It doesn't matter. Please, Chad. I need you." I begged him, placing kisses over under his chin and across his neck.

He was breathing hard and squeezing his eyes shut, as if it were causing him physical pain to deny my request. Then again, it probably was. "Sonny, you're making it awfully hard to say no..."

"Then don't," I said as I grinded against him, causing him to groan. We were so close to having sex anyway, he literally could have taken me at any second. But he didn't. He pushed me off of himself and quickly stood up.

"You don't get it," he said in frustration, punching the mattress. "You don't fucking get it!" he yelled again as he ran the palm of his hand through his hair in anguish.

His tone was harsh, and I flinched.

"If we have sex now, you're not going to remember it tomorrow. And...I don't even know if I can do this anymore! I can't just fuck you and then toss you to the side, Sonny. This isn't how this was supposed to happen!" He collapsed onto the bed and buried his face into his hands. "I should have never went along with any of this."

I sat up and stared at him, completely shocked and confused about what had just happened. I had never heard Chad raise his voice to me, and I was too drunk to figure out what on earth he was talking about.

Groaning at his frustration and still quite aroused, Chad stood up and pulled his clothes back on before helping me into the t-shirt he had pulled out of the drawer earlier. He turned away when my eyes began to tear. He couldn't look at me for whatever reason, and I could only assume I had done something wrong.

"Now just get some sleep, because you're gonna feel like shit tomorrow," he spat as he walked away.

And with that, he left, slamming the door behind him.


	7. Chapter 7

**SOMETIMES ALWAYS**

**::Chapter 7::**

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><p><strong>AN: Here by popular demand, a chapter with Chad's POV. Enjoy (I hope).=)**

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><p>You ever had one of those moments that you wish you could take back? Where you would give <em>anything<em> to go back in time and notbe a complete, selfish douche bag? Well, that's the way I feel about what happened last night.

Here's the thing: I know that I'm a jerk. I have no desire to change that, but I definitely draw the line at taking advantage of drunk girls. I especially draw the line at taking advantage of Sonny Munroe, but that's what I had done. How could something that feels so right, be so incredibly wrong? Right now I hate myself, which is saying a lot for someone who loves themselves so much.

It was noon and I was pacing back and forth in front of the guest room where she was sleeping. After a slight pause at the door, I inched it open to stare at the slumbering brunette buried beneath the sheets. I had seen the tears in her eyes as I left last night: I had listened to her softly sob herself to sleep only hours before. I know I'm an ass, but it physically pains me to see Sonny's smile falter and know it is because of something I have said or done. It's happened enough in the past that one would think I'd know better by now. But no, I had fucked up again.

I rested my forehead against the frame of her door, closing my eyes and dwelling for a moment in my own guilt. When I felt her begin to stir, I looked up.

A small, pained groan escaped her lips. She sat up fast, staring at the strange bed she had fallen asleep in before her hands patted down her body, obviously realizing she was without her underwear. "Oh shit."

"Morning Sunshine," I finally said as I stepped into the room, walking into the bathroom and retrieving an aspirin from the medicine cabinet and a glass of cold water from the sink. "I always wanted to say that," I said as I sat down on the side of her bed. She looked adorable with her messy hair, her eyes squinting as they adjusted to the light pouring in from the noonday sky.

"Chad?" she asked me, confused.

I shook an aspirin into her hand. "How's the noggin?" I asked her.

"It hurts," she answered me. "It hurts everywhere. What _happened _last night?" She had forgotten, just as I hoped she would.

"Uhh...well," I began. "You sorta got smashed, so I put you up in here." I gave her a half-smile as she swallowed the pill before beginning to chug the glass of water in her hand. Cotton mouth. I quickly swiped the glass from her hand before she managed to down the entire thing. "Go easy, you'll just make yourself puke doing that."

"We-we got _physical _didn't we?" she asked me. She might have been plastered last night, but Sonny Munroe was no dummy.

"Yeah," I confirmed with a sigh. "We did."

"I'm not a virgin anymore am I?" she asked me, her eyes glistening. She looked like she was about to get sick. I don't know if it was the alcohol or the thought of losing her virginity and not remembering a thing. I imagine it was both.

I chuckled a bit, which only made her scowl at me. "Sorry Miss Munroe, but you're still quite the goody two-shoes," I assured her and she looked relieved.

"Oh, thank god," she said with a sigh of relief. "I mean...I know we're going to eventually...but...not like that," she stumbled awkwardly.

"It's fine," I assured her. "I get it."

"I feel like shit."

I nodded. "You definitely don't hold your alcohol well," I agreed. "It was your first time drinking though, so it's to be expected. By the way...Umm...I think it's probably best you make it your last, too." As much fun as I had had last night, it wasn't worth the guilt I was experiencing right now. Not only that, but it was strange seeing a girl like Sonny Munroe inebriated—it was unnatural.

"I'm inclined to agree," she said, rubbing her temples with her fingers and wincing. "I don't know what possessed me to do that. I don't even know why I came here in the first place. I'm sorry Chad."

I frowned at the irony of this situation—Sonny was apologizing to _me_? As if I didn't feel shitty enough.

"You have nothing to be sorry about," I quickly offered. "You did nothing wrong."

"I ruined your party-" she began.

"No way. If anything, you livened it up a bit," I said with a chuckle. Then I knew it was time to spill the beans. "I have to tell you something though, Sonny." I paused, sighing. "Last night we did some things I'm pretty sure you wouldn't be so willing to do sober."

She quickly looked up, her eyes filled with worry. "W-we did have sex then?"

"No," I quickly assured her. "But, you sorta...went downtown."

She frowned, looking at me confusingly. Was this girl really that naive? "You...used your mouth on...certain parts of my anatomy."

"_Oh_..."

"Yeah..." I said softly.

She looked down, playing with the hem of her oversized t-shirt that hit her mid-thigh. "Was...was it _okay_?"

I was surprised by her question. She was supposed to be yelling at me or slapping me for letting it happen, not being paranoid whether she did a good job or not. "Oh Munroe," I said, placing my hand on her knee as I leaned in. "It was so much better than _okay_," I whispered as her eyes widened. "But that wasn't my point. I took advantage of you when you were really, really drunk and it wasn't right."

She bit her lip and and looked at me with uncertainty. "Were you drunk, too?"

I shrugged. "Tipsy, sure. But you were completely smashed, and I new pretty well what I was doing."

She paused, thinking over what I had just told her. "Chad, my virginity is still in tact this morning, and right now that is all that matters," she assured me. "Apparently I threw myself at you, and the fact that you didn't let it go that far means an awful lot to me. So...thank you."

I sat back a bit. "Hmm, I've had girls thank me in the morning before, but it's usually because I _did _have sex with them," I said with a smirk as I gently trailed my hand on her thigh and small smile tugged at her lips. I stared at her warm brown eyes, suddenly feeling the urge to kiss her. But when I leaned forward, Sonny covered her mouth with her hand, bolting into the bathroom and throwing up violently into the toilet. I followed her, quickly leaning down to hold her hair back as I placed the palm of my hand on her back.

"Oh god..." she said, slumping down to the bathroom floor and bringing the back of her wrist up to wipe her mouth.

I stood up, sticking my hands in my pockets as I stared down at her. "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't incredibly turned on right now."

She smiled a bit, shaking her head at me. "Shut up."

I walked towards the large bathtub, reaching down and turning the water on before adding some of the scented bubble bath my mom had left last time she was here. I tested the temperature of the water before holding my hand out to her to help her up. "Just sit back and relax a bit. The warm water will help you feel better."

She nodded, and I pulled the old t-shirt up and over her head, causing her to blush a bit. I smiled at this. "Really, Sonny? Really?"

She looked down, grinning shyly.

I held her elbow as I helped her over the side of the tub, watching her sink down into the suds as she sighed. My breath hitched as I watched the tiny translucent bubbles cling to ever curve of her ivory skin. Sonny leaned back against the tub with closed eyes, opening one to glance at me suspiciously. That's when I realized I had been watching her entirely too long.

I pulled out a white, fluffy towel and set it next to the tub. "Take your time," I said, leaving with a grin.

**X x**

Sonny left quickly that morning, saying something about having to meet with her mom that afternoon. I didn't see her the rest of the weekend. When I arrived at work early Monday morning, Chastity was waiting for me in my dressing room.

"Have a good weekend?" she asked me with a knowing smile.

Rolling my eyes, I threw my leather jacket onto the couch across from her and headed into my closet. Bolting from her seat, Chastity quickly followed me.

"I know what you did to Munroe the other night," she stated, matter-of-factly.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." I knew very well what she meant, but decided to play dumb. I didn't need any crap from the _Mac Falls _cast about my arrangement with Sonny.

She shrugged at me, playing with her fingernails a bit. "I went to check on Claire, and you and Sonny were being quite vocal in your guest bedroom there. She's quite the loud lover for someone who tries to pass herself off as someone so innocent and pure."

I sighed. Chastity really had been prying into my business entirely too much lately. "We messed around a little," I admitted. "She's still a virgin, so she has every right to act 'innocent and pure.'"

She smiled. "I'm sure our Chaddy will change all of that real soon."

I had been reaching for a tie in my closet, and quickly turned to face her. "And all of this is your business because...?"

"Because I give a crap about you," she answered. "Listen Chad, I know you're still not over Sonny Munroe, but that girl _crushed _you. I honestly thought you would never be the same after she dumped you. For those three glorious years you managed to push her out of your life, you were so much happier. You're better off without her."

"I'm not dating her," I offered. "What we are doing is completely physical."

"Really?" she asked me, doubtfully. "Because you're capable of being with her without your big ol' dumb heart getting in the way of your dick?"

My teeth clenched and I inhaled deeply.

"Face it Chad, you are in love with her," she told me, poking me in the chest with her pointer finger. "If you two start dating again, nothing will change. In Sonny's eyes, you will never be good enough for her, and then were back to Chad-that-doesn't-shave-and-broods-in-his-dressing-room-all-day again. Trust me, we don't need you feeling sorry for yourself. Not with all the shit going on with _The Falls _right now."

"They're not gonna cancel us. Mr. Condor is overreacting," I said. It was still a touchy subject with me, though.

"Really? Have you even paid any attention to our ratings lately? We've fallen pretty far from the top. Face it Chad, if we don't bring our A game this season, we're going down."

I threw the tie I held in my hand up into the air. "Well, what do you want me to do, Chastity? Stop talking to her? Cut her out of my life again? We _like _being with each other, and we're having fun."

"Yeah, it's all fun and games until she breaks your heart again. Chad, you had an emotional breakdown after she dumped you," Chastity reminded me, her voice getting soft. "You went through therapy for months. This isn't good for your mental health."

I rolled my eyes at her before turning away. "It's not like I went crazy, Chas. I just got a bit depressed is all."

"Oh, because that's so much better," she pointed out. "And I would say 'a bit' would be an enormous understatement for what you went through. We've been good friends for awhile, Chad, so I want you to heed my advice: Just fuck her and get her out of your system so you can go on with your life."

I watched as Chastity quickly stormed out of my dressing room, and I knew deep down she had a solid point.

**X x**

So that was that. I needed time to collect myself and plan my next move. My new found relationship with Sonny was affecting every aspect of my life. I smiled on camera when I was supposed to be sad (Mackenzie is never happy). I found myself walking towards Stage 3 when I had no business being there. Most of all, I kept remembering how crushed Sonny looked when she thought I had been with Claire. She obviously still had feelings for me; I just wasn't sure how I was supposed to react to that.

So, next I did what I had to do—I completely cut Sonny from my life for the next few days. I planned my trips to the commissary when I knew she was at rehearsal, I avoided being any where near Stage 3, and I let each one of her calls go to voice mail. I had to get her out of my mind long enough to think this through reasonably without my feelings for her getting in the way.

I did see her one day in the commissary, fighting off sleep as Nico nudged her awake. "You alright, Sonny?"

"Yeah, sure," she told him. "I've just been really worn out lately, and I'm going through some personal stuff." Grady placed his hand on her shoulder for comfort as Sonny sighed and rested her chin on the palm of her hand. I quickly backed out of the room before she spotted me.

I wondered about what she'd said in the commissary for the rest of the day. What was this "personal stuff" and did it have something to do with me? She looked like she needed someone to talk to, and I was resisting the urge to be there for her. I even started walking towards the _So Random _stage when I was heading home the next day, but quickly took a side exit before I got there.

I remembered what Chastity had said, and I realized that being there for Sonny just wasn't worth the risk. I couldn't let her hurt me again, even if it meant watching her hurt from afar. It was killing me inside, but nothing could hurt as much as the day she broke up with me. It had taken me long enough to recover from the blow that Mr. Condor had intervened with the idea of counseling. Of course, I was contractually obligated to him to remain healthy, both mentally and physically. We had done an okay job of keeping it from the media, knowing it would not be good for my career. America's #1 teen heartthrob doesn't have emotional issues, after all.

In the meantime, I would figure out where all of this was going with Sonny and decide whether or not I could be in an physical relationship with her without being in an emotional one. I couldn't stand the thought of just having sex with her and ending it there, but I couldn't very well be in a real relationship with her after everything that had happened.

I guess it came down to the fact that I was just scared. No matter what decision I make, I'm sure it will be the wrong one.

I went home and cracked open a beer, turning on a basketball game and sinking into my Italian leather sofa. I went to bed early that night, hoping maybe the seven hours I slept would give my mind a break from the thoughts of her. But, just when I had drifted off and my memories of Sonny Munroe had been pushed to the very back of my mind, I was rudely shaken from my peaceful slumber by my ringing phone.

Her photo graced my caller ID, as I debated whether or not to answer it. It was 1:30 in the morning; something could have been seriously wrong. My worries got the best of me, I eventually hit the green button.

"Sonny?" I asked her, curiously. My pulse quickened when I heard her sob through the other end of the line.

"Ch-Chad..."

I sat up quickly. "Are you okay?"

"I-I was in a car accident," she managed through tearful sobs. "C-can you help me?"

My heart beat quickly as a million horrifying scenarios playing out through my head. "Where are you? Are you hurt?"

**X x**

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><p><strong>Review! Please?<strong>


	8. Chapter 8

**SOMETIMES ALWAYS**

**::Chapter 8::**

"Mom, I feel dumb asking you this after ten years, but what exactly happened with Dad when he left?"

We were sitting over a cup of coffee in the airport cafe before my mom's flight was scheduled to board. She gripped her foam cup tightly, thinking over my question with a pained face. It was almost a full minute before she finally took a sip of her coffee and then cleared her throat before speaking.

"A lot of things happened, honey. Your father was a wonderful man when we met, but things change. People change. I did what was best for the both of us," she assured me, giving me a vague answer like she always did.

"I know, but what exactly drove him away? I'm sorry that this is a sore subject for you, but I just need to know," I pleaded. "I need some sort of closure, and this is my last chance to ask you in person before you leave."

Finally, she sighed. "Your dad was a drunk," she said matter-of-factly. "He was a functioning alcoholic when you were a baby, who quickly became less and less functioning as time went on. He lost his job, we began fighting a lot, and it started to affect you. Your grades were slipping at school and you had problems making friends."

I started to recall the part of my life she was referring to. I remembered them fighting a lot and feeling like I was in the middle of something I couldn't stop. I also remembered my dad not coming home at night sometimes before the day he had finally taken off for good.

"Why didn't he get help?" I finally asked her.

She looked at me, her expression pained. "He did. He went to AA every week for almost six months. He stayed dry that entire time, but eventually relapsed when he couldn't find a job. One day he took you to the park and lost track of you because he'd been drinking. That was the last straw, and after that he left," she explained.

I stared down at the cup of lukewarm coffee in my hands. "Wow."

"Look, honey. I know it's hard to hear," my mom said, placing her hand on my own. "Your dad messed up a lot, but he really did love you. He just...he couldn't handle a child. Alcoholics aren't even capable of taking care of themselves, much less their own families."

I slumped over a bit, taking in what I had just learned. "So, why didn't he ever call or try to find me?"

My mom shrugged. "He was getting very caught up in his lifestyle, I suppose. At the time, we had agreed it was best that he stay away for awhile. I think once he was free of the guilt that came with drinking, there was nothing stopping him." Then she offered me a small reassuring smile. "Alcoholism is a disease, honey. Once he was addicted. he didn't really get to choose his life: The booze did it for him. I'm not defending what he did, but it's a very difficult thing to overcome," she said softly, looking a bit upset as she spoke. "What brings this up all of a sudden, Sonny?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. I just had a feeling that maybe if I ever got the chance to really know my father, maybe we would be really close, you know? I don't even know who's supposed to give me away when I get married. If that ever happens," I added dryly.

"You know that Jason would be so proud to walk you down the aisle on your wedding day," Mom assured me. "And of course you'll get married. You are everything a man could dream of, Sonny: Smart, funny, successful, beautiful."

I smiled.

"And maybe before it's time for me to go, you can tell me about this new fella in your life?" she asked me, smiling into her coffee cup.

"What _are_ you talking about?" I asked her dangerously.

"Oh, I don't know. A certain someone hasn't come home two nights over the past two weeks," she started, and I sent her a glare. "Now wait just a minute," my mom said, holding her hands up defensively and laughing. "You didn't think I'd notice you weren't there in the morning? Come on, Sonny. You're an adult know, and I think I'd be delusional to think you weren't capable of having an adult relationship."

My face reddened at this suddenly uncomfortable conversation with my mother. Hell, even in her eyes I was a prude, which was saying a lot.

"But maybe you could just assure me that you're being responsible with this boy you've been seeing so secretly. Or better yet, maybe you could tell me his name," she added, nudging me with a wink.

Still feeling utterly embarrassed about this unwanted sex talk with my mother, I finally let out a small laugh at the irony of it all. "I cannot believe we are having this conversation," I told her.

"You're mom didn't grow up in the 1800's, you know," she told me, tapping my nose with her finger.

I rolled my eyes at her. "Well first off, I haven't done anything. And second, when it _does _happen, I have every intention to be responsible about it. And, well, the guy is...Chad," I muttered, scratching my chin and quickly looking the other way.

My mom's eyes brightened at the very mention of his name. "You're back with Chad!"

"Kinda. Sorta. Well, no. Not really. We've been hanging out a lot lately," I told her.

"I always knew you two would end up together," she said with a dreamy look in her eye. "It's too perfect of a match," she added.

"Yeah? Well, I'm not so sure he feels the same way," I admitted, shoulders slumped.

"Oh, honey. Chad Dylan Cooper has always loved you," she said sweetly, her hand on my arm. "He is just one of those guys who has a hard time expressing his feelings."

"Maybe," I said with a shrug. "I'm just not sure about this. If he's anything like he was three years ago, he's still the most important person in his own life," I said with a sigh. "Some people never change."

"And some people _do_, Sonny," my mom pointed out. "I am a firm believer in second chances."

And her words got me thinking; not only about Chad, but also about another man in my life who had let me down.

Half an hour later we were hugging as my mom's plane boarded. "I love you so much, honey. I really am sorry we couldn't find you a place before I had to leave. At least you have until the end of the month," she reminded me.

"I love you too, mom. And I'll be fine," I promised her. "Nico is helping me with my apartment-searching quest. With all of these jobs I'm holding down, I should be able to find myself something nice," I joked.

We shared a long, personal space-invading hug.

And with that, she was gone. I watched my mom's plane take flight with a tear in my eye.

Today, I officially become an adult.

**X x**

A few days later I was driving back to Nevada. My mom was in Wisconsin now and Chad seemed to be ignoring me completely. I had tried to call him a couple of times, but he never answered my voice mails. I tried not to let it get to me. This week I had started working on the series finale for _So Random _and had a lot of things on my mind, including my fruitless apartment search. I was living off of coffee and five-hour energy drinks just to stay awake and feeling like crap 24/7.

It was a long drive to the place my dad was staying and I was tired, but I made it there in one piece. I glanced at the small piece of paper with my dad's hotel's address on it. He hadn't known what his room number would be when he had given it to me, so I'd have to stop into the office to find out.

His hotel was one of those run-down places you always see out in the middle of nowhere in a movie when the main characters are driving through the dessert: a blinking neon sign, chipped paint on stucco walls, and dust-coated glass in the windows. If it weren't the middle of the day, it would've been creepy I decided. A horror movie totally could have been filmed there.

A little while later I was knocking on Room Nine, and my father answered the door quickly. "Baby Girl!" he exclaimed, pulling me into his embrace. "I was hoping you'd make it out eventually. I missed you," he added with a smile as I hugged him back.

"Yeah, well I needed a little break from work," I explained. Marshall had agreed to give me another day off. The script for the movie was final, and as soon as _So Random _wrapped up in a few weeks we would start shooting the movie.

He opened the door to let me into his room, and the inside looked just as bad as the outside if worse: stained, yellow shag carpeting, a lumpy bed with a brown spread, and furniture that looked like it had been there since the 1970's.

"It's not much, but I make do with what I have," he explained. "I was doing construction work before I went into the hospital. Got fired after that."

I nodded. "Do you need some money?" I asked him, my conscience screaming at me. I was setting myself up for a heartbreak—I just knew it—but the guy was my dad after all.

He quickly shook his head. "No sweetheart, keep your money. But there is something else you could do for me."

"What's that?" I asked him.

"The fair's in town this week. Your old man hasn't been since you were a little girl. We used to have so much fun," he added with a child-like smile.

The West Appleton County Fair was one of my fondest memories as a child. Sharing a funnel cake with my dad and riding the Ferris wheel were among my favorites. He took me every year—it was sort of our thing. I smiled just thinking about it.

"I guess I picked the right week to come," I said with a laugh.

The drive there was fun. I got to see a lot of sites, and as it turns out, Nevada isn't a bad state at all. I kinda always imagined an empty desert with a casino plopped right in the middle. The county fair was your usual small-town one with shady carnies and overpriced carnival fare. My dad was still feeling under the weather, so we opted out of any fast-moving rides. However, we just couldn't pass up the opportunity to ride the Ferris wheel.

"Oh my god, I forgot I was afraid of heights," I told my father, clutching the bar across our laps as we neared the top. He laughed a bit at me, sitting back in his seat leisurely.

"You remember the last promise I made you?" my father asked me, his hands folded behind his neck as my fingernails dug into my thighs. "I told you we were going to the Wisconsin State Fair. I guess this is my way of making it up to you."

The wheel stopped, and soon we were exiting the wheel. "I don't really remember that," I admitted. "But it was nice of you to suggest this. It's fun, even if it's not exactly the same as when I was a kid."

"Nothing ever is," he said with a shrug and a small laugh.

My dad ordered us a funnel cake and a couple of lemon shake-ups and we sat down on a park bench to enjoy our not-so-nutritious feast.

I smiled. "Hey, maybe you could come and visit me in LA? I can show you around the studio. Actually, were getting ready to wrap up in a few weeks, so time isn't on our side."

"That sound great," he agreed. "What comes after _So Random_? College, perhaps?"

I sighed. "I wish. I'm starring in an independent film my producer is making. My college education might just have to wait another semester."

"My daughter a movie star," my dad said, shaking his head. "Who'd've thunk? I always knew you were a ham, but this is something else."

"Yeah?" I said with a grin. "Well, it's not all that glamorous. I never have time for a social life and I'm always tired. The only real reason I'm doing this movie is because I feel like I owe Marshall. That's my producer. He saw an online video I'd made when I was 15 and cast me for the show. He's actually a really positive influence in my life," I went on. "Like a father figure," I said before realizing who, exactly, I was talking to.

I had referred to Marshall like this on more than one occasion, and now it came a little too naturally. I quickly bit my lip, reading my father's expression as he adverted his gaze and wiped the powdered sugar from his mustache. I instantly regretted my words, turning my attention to one of the rides at the fair.

"Just go," he said, and I felt unshed tears suddenly burning my eyes. I had ruined everything by saying the wrong thing. But then he nodded over to the ride behind him. "You've been eying The Scrambler all day long. Don't let me hold you back," he added with a chuckle, and I sighed in relief. With a nod, I smiled.

"I'll be around," he assured me. "Don't worry. If you get too scared of this one, I'll make them stop the ride for you," he teased.

I stood in line for about 15 minutes before I boarded the ride, then spent much of the time trying to keep my funnel cake and lemonade down. I decided that I had probably become much too old for such rides a _long _time ago.

The next 45 minutes were spent in search of my father. I checked the concession stands, the ring toss, and even the other rides in the park. He was nowhere to be found. Just as I was about to retreat to the ticket booth in defeat, I heard loud blues music being played from a tent down the road. That's where I found him, downing a beer and swaying drunkenly to the music.

I stood in horror for a few minutes while I watched him pay for another beer. He was busy loudly chatting up the bartender when I finally left in tears. I couldn't look at him any more. I didn't care how he was going to get home that night—I just knew I needed to get out of there and I needed to get out of there right now. I couldn't just stand there and watch him as he slowly killed himself.

It was late when I had started my drive back to LA. I cried for a good while as I drove before my eyelids began to slowly droop. I turned the music up loudly, shaking myself from time-to-time in an effort to keep myself awake. It worked, for awhile.

Now that the sun had set and the air had become cool, I turned up my heater to get rid of the chill in the car. My warm and cozy car eventually began to loll me to sleep, and the next thing I knew I was being rudely awakened by the loud sound and sudden jerk of my car hitting the ditch. I was thrown violently, despite the fact I was wearing my seatbelt. My wrist hit the steering wheel as I gasped in pain and shock.

I sat still for a minute, my car wedged in the ditch as I tried to process what had just happened.

Had I hit another car?

Was I seriously injured?

Could I get out?

As it turned out, no one else was around and, other than my wrist, I felt fine. My door opened with ease and I slipped out of my vehicle before expecting the damage to the right side of the car. My tire was flat, the axle was bent, and I was in the middle of nowhere.

I was screwed.

Panic set in as I wondered what I was supposed to do. Nico and Grady were in Florida for the weekend doing a fan convention, Tawni didn't answer her call when I did phone her, and Zora only had her driver's permit. Tears began to fill my eyes as I leaned my back against the side of my car, sinking down into the dirty ditch in which it sat and holding my wrist sorely. I brought my knees up to my face and just cried. I don't know exactly how long I sat in that ditch, blubbering like a baby, but it felt like an eternity.

I cried about my car. I cried about my dad. I cried about my mom leaving. And I cried about Chad.

That's when I decided to call the last person there was to call. Surprisingly, it didn't take him long to answer. I was trying to calm myself as I explained my situation to him, but I only managed to stutter between sobs.

"Where are you? Are you hurt?" he asked me, concern evident in his voice.

"I'm in the desert somewhere," I said with a sob. "I-I'm okay."

"The desert? What the hell?" he asked, frustration in his voice. "Can you be a bit more specific?"

"Route 68. Somewhere just on this side of the border," I finally managed.

"What on Earth are you doing out there?" he demanded. "Listen, sit tight; I'm coming for you. Don't let anyone else give you a ride, okay?"

"O-okay." Chad's angry voice only upset me more. If it hadn't taken him two hours to get there, I probably still would've been bawling my eyes out when he arrived.

I sat on the opposite side of my car, trying to avoid passers-by. Hours later, a pair of headlights pulled up behind me, and I instantly recognized Chad's convertible. As I stood up, Chad walked quickly to me. He was wearing a pair of flannel pajama pants and his leather jacket, and I grimaced when I realized I had woken him up. I knew he was going to be mad at me about this. However, when he finally reached me and I expected an argument to start, he simply pulled me against his chest. With his arms wrapped protectively around me, he pressed his face against the top of my head, sighing in relief.

"Are you okay?" he asked me when he'd finally pulled away. "You're holding your wrist."

"I hit it on the steering wheel," I explained. "It's a bit sore, but I'll be fine."

My answer wasn't good enough for him, and after he made me go through every possible range of motion with my wrist, he finally settled down.

"I don't think it's broke. You might wanna get it checked out tomorrow if it's still sore though."

"I'm fine."

He shook his head. "I was so scared when you called. I thought you might've flipped your car into a ravine and broken your neck or something."

"Really?" I asked him, and he rolled his eyes at me. I honestly didn't think Chad would get all worked up about this, but I could see in his eyes that he had been panicking.

"I'm still human, aren't I?" he asked. "Listen, my mechanic is going to be here in a few. He'll tow your car back to LA. Why didn't you call the cops when this happened?"

I shrugged uncomfortably.

"Sonny?" he warned. "Why did you crash into that ditch?"

I looked down in shame. "I fell asleep," I finally mumbled.

"Shit!" Now he looked angry again, not that I blamed him.

"I-I know. I was scared they were going to take me to jail for driving recklessly or something. No one was around when it happened."

I shivered as I held myself, the cool night air causing goosebumps on my skin. Chad wriggled out of his jacket and placed it over my shoulders. "Go sit in the car while I wait for the mechanic to show up. The heat's on."

I sat in the passenger seat as I watched Chad talk with his mechanic for a few minutes before he finally walked back to the car.

"You're car is really messed up," he said. "He says he can fix it, though."

"Great. Looks like I'll be taking the bus to work next week," I muttered. I was stressed enough the way it was.

Chad frowned. "Hey, at least you're in one piece. Do you realize how awful that could've been had you been on the interstate? You'd be dead, for sure."

I looked at my lap and sighed. "I'm sorry, Chad."

He rubbed his forehead before putting the car in gear and pulling back onto the road. "You know what? That does it," he said, shaking his head. "I'm talking to Marshall Monday morning. He is working you to death. You're a 19 year-old-girl for God's sake!"

"Chad, don't-" I started.

"Well hell, Sonny! You can't seem to tell him no," he exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. "You need a break from this shit."

"I made him a promise, Chad. He can't do this movie without me," I told him.

He sighed. "If I see you start to nod off one more time when we're at work-"

"I won't."

He scowled. "Fine. I don't think all of this work they're putting on you is good for your health though. Now are you going to tell me what you were doing in Nevada? Even though I think I already know the answer to that."

I bit my lip. "Yes. I went to see my dad, okay?" I admitted. "And it wasn't the first time. He's my father and he wanted to spend some bonding time with me. Is that so horrible?"

Chad was too busy glaring at the road to answer me.

"He's not a horrible person, Chad. He has a disease-"

"What disease is that?" he quickly interrupted. "A sensitivity to acknowledging his own daughter's existence?"

I felt like someone had just punched me in the stomach with that remark. I thought back to when I had discovered my dad in the beer tent. I remembered how careless he looked and how he had completely forgotten about me. I tried my best not to cry anymore about it. I still had a migraine from sobbing my brains out three hours earlier.

Suddenly I felt Chad's hand on my leg. "Hey, I'm sorry, okay? That was out of line for me to say." His voice sounded sincere as he glanced at me with compassionate eyes. "I just don't want you to get hurt, and this has hurt written all over it."

"He's an alcoholic," I finally told him, looking away and out the window.

Chad didn't say much for awhile. I don't think he knew what to say. I was kinda glad he had dropped the whole issue of my dad right then and there, because what had happened at the fair was still far too fresh in my memory.

The day had been bittersweet. I had an amazing time with my father before he had decided to get drunk. Then I had left in tears and crashed my car into a ditch. But Chad had come all of this way, in the middle of the night, for me. He was obviously worried about what had happened, and the fact that he was considering my feelings in all of this meant the world to me. For the longest time I thought he truly hated me, but after tonight I was certain that wasn't the case. His concern over my situation had made me feel...special, despite the awful circumstances.

Okay, so maybe he wasn't in _love _with me, but he cared about me. And maybe that was good enough.

His deep blue eyes were fixed on the road and we sat in silence for a good while as we drove. I was still feeling tired, but there was too much on my mind right now to fall asleep. And that's when I made my decision.

"Chad?" I asked him.

"Yeah?" he responded, his eyes not leaving the road in front of him.

"I think I'm ready."

He sent me sideways glance. "Ready for what?"

"I'm ready to have sex with you."

And with that, he almost swerved off the side of the road. Once he had regained control of the car and both hands were tightly gripped back on the wheel, he glanced at me with wide eyes. "You're..._ready_?"

I nodded.

His eyes automatically scanned the surrounding scenery, as if looking for a place to pull over. I snickered at this, realizing how literal he had taken my statement.

"Why don't we do it in the road?" I asked him seductively, allowing my finger to trail up his leg.

"Sonny-" he squeaked, his voice weak.

I quickly placed my hand on his forearm, and he looked at me nervously. "I'm joking, Chad," I said with a loud laugh. "I didn't mean right now, tonight. I like to be spontaneous, but not over something that's such a major decision."

He shrugged. "I knew that," he insisted.

I smirked. "I bet."

**X x**

**A/N:** It's weird. Sonny's dad is coming out as a cross between the grandpa in _Barbie and a Mermaid's Tale _and Bad Blake from _Crazy Heart. _Haha.

I've never left the Midwest. I tried to use Google maps to get an idea of the geography there, but I just sorta guessed. So if you live in the area I'm writing about and I totally effed it up, I apologize. I did try.

Probably won't update this for a couple of weeks, guys. I need to buckle down for a paper I'm writing for English. I've been getting sidetracked by working on this. I do love writing it, but right now my grades are more important. I guess.

**Now review!**


	9. Chapter 9

**SOMETIMES ALWAYS**

**::Chapter 9::**

"So what? You and Chad are going to, like, plan your big night or something? Y'kow, because it worked so well for your first kiss," Tawni said with a snort as we drove to the studio that morning. My car was still in the shop, but it was okay. At least I was getting in my Tawni Time. _Yippe_.

"No, we are not _planning _it," I defended. "I just told him that I was ready, so that he could be ready."

Tawni shook her head, her eyes on the road. "Ready for _what? _You know those pants are ready to come off at any time, Sonny," she said with her signature annoying laugh.

I almost rolled my eyes at her until I realized she was probably right.

"It's just, well, there is_ some_ planning involved," I pointed out. "Umm, Tawni?" I started. I bit my lip, wondering how stupid and inexperienced my question was going to be.

"Yes?" she asked, a small smile playing on her lips, as if she knew what I was about to ask her.

"Who's in charge of the..._you know._"

I could see she was trying to contain her smile. "Handcuffs? Whipped cream? What, Sonny?"

"The...Erm...Prophylactics." My face reddened at the very thought of it.

"Ugh, you're telling me that you're ready for sex but you can't even say the word _condom_ ?" she asked in disbelief. "What are you? Eight?"

I shuddered. "I don't know if I can be seen in the store buying _those_." Imagined one of my 10-year-old fans behind me in line while I was paying for a package of condoms. Or worse yet, Perez Hilton. What would the world think of me?

"Well, it's better being seen buying a box of condoms than carrying around Pooper's love child," she pointed out. "I'm sure Chad keeps a huge box of them next to his bed anyhow. It's not as if he's never done it before."

I looked at my lap.

"What?" Tawni asked, shooting me a look. "Are you really that disappointed you won't be his first?"

I shrugged. "No, I'm not that naïve. I don't know..."

When we stopped at a red light, Tawni studied me seriously. "What's going on with you? You're being all weird today."

I shrugged. "If I tell you something, can you promise me you won't laugh?" I asked her.

"Pfft. No," she wrinkled her nose as she took a long drink of her bottled water.

I rolled my eyes. "Well, I guess I'll tell you anyway since you're presently available and I need to get it off my chest." I let out a deep sigh. "I think that I'm in love with Chad."

Tawni did a spit take, choking on her water at the same time.

"What!" Her eyes widened and she looked at me in disbelief. "Uh Sonny, did you forget_ who_ we're talking about here?"

I shrugged. "I guess I just realized how much I really care about him. He's been there for me lately and, well, I kinda like having him in my life." I looked up. "Okay, I _need _him in my life," I admitted. "Going even a day without him is torture and all of this messing around made me realize I want him back."

"That'd better be your libido talking, Sonny," Tawni said in disgust. "This is _Chad._ The same Chad who practically forced himself into every aspect of your life after you two broke up before you finally ripped his head off and shit down his neck."

"Nice metaphor," I said sarcastically, grimacing at her choice in words. "I just...I have this feeling that maybe he cares about me, too. He's been really nice to me lately-"

"Because he going to get laid, Sonny," Tawni quickly pointed out.

"-and he dropped everything the other night to come to my rescue-"

"Because he's going to get laid!" she interrupted again.

"Okay, that's enough," I said. "I refuse to believe that every guy out there thinks with his crotch."

Tawni sighed and shrugged. "All men are despicable. Every. Single. One."

I frowned. "Tawni, are you ever going to tell me what's going on with your fiance?"

She shrugged, suddenly appearing a bit misty-eyed. "It's over."

"You broke it off?" I gaped. "But you were so excited about this wedding."

She shook her head. "I didn't break it off—Brandon did. Apparently he's not ready to get married."

"Well, he does have two years," I pointed out, then shut my mouth when Tawni shot me a glare. Too soon. "Well, if it means anything, I never liked that guy. He used way to much hair product. He always looked greasy."

Tawni, miraculously, remained silent until we arrived at the studio. She put her car in park and sat in a daze for a few minutes. "It's not so much that I wanted to marry him," she finally said. "It was just a project...It was something to do. In three weeks our show is over for good. Then what? I'm going to be a nobody. I won't be an actress, or a fiance, or _anything_."

I felt bad for her. I knew how she felt, in a way. My parents weren't around anymore, Chad wasn't mine, and I was completely on my own for the first time in my life. I wanted so badly to make Tawni feel better. But what makes Tawni happy? Clothes? Makeup? Anything completely superficial?

I thought about it for a moment and. finally, it hit me.

"Tawni, I really need your help with something," I told her. "I need you help me look sexy for Chad."

And, sure enough, her eyes brightened at that very idea.

"Get back in the car, we're going shopping!"

**X x**

"Hmm."

Tawni skewed her face as she studied my figure and wrinkled her nose as she stared at my boobs. "Well, it's something to work with," she finally said. "What gets Chad going? Role playing? G-strings? Edible panties?"

"I'm not wearing anything you can eat," I quickly said. We were in the middle of Victoria Secret, staring at the vast array of sexy clothing I never thought I'd be buying to wear in front of Chad. "He likes...simple things."

"Of course he does. He's fucking you," Tawni simply said, tossing her hair and walking towards the bustiers.

What had I gotten myself into?

She held up a corset that resembled a bridal gown and snickered. "This should make Chad go limp in a few seconds," she said with a rolling laugh.

I rolled my eyes, picking up a black one with white polka dots. "This is cute."

Tawni peered over my shoulder and frowned. "Yeck. That's all that it is. Do you wanna look sexy or like a character out of _The Archies_?"

I groaned and walked away to study the other garments in the store. My fingers brushed over an completely sheer camisole and matching thong that left little, if anything, to the imagination.

"Nope," Tawni quickly said, taking it from me and placing it back on the rack. "Pooper will be finished before you even get started if you wear that."

I sighed. And that's exactly how the next hour and a half went.

"Too slutty."

"Too prudish."

"Too tacky."

"Ugh, cotton panties? Come on, Sonny!"

"That is a_ robe_! Do _you_ find hospital patients sexy?"

I threw the garments into the air. "Well, why don't _you_ tell me what you want me to wear?" I finally asked her. "After all, I'm only losing my virginity, but it's _your _big night to dress me for it!"

Tawni bit her lip. "That," she said, pointing over my shoulder.

I quickly turned around.

"Oh no."

"Come on, Sonny!" she said, reaching to pull a white strapless and lacy corset with matching panties and garters off of the rack. "It is _so_ you," she said, holding it against me, and I quickly batted her hands away before someone saw. "It will enhance your assets. You have just the right curves for it," she insisted.

I was still shaking my head. I didn't even want to be in the presence of something this sexy—it so wasn't me.

"It's perfect. It's innocent enough to represent your virginity, but sexy enough to let Chad know you're not a prude. C'mon! Try it on and see what you think!"

"No way," I told her. "What if there are cameras in the fitting rooms and this ends up on TMZ? What would my mom say if she found that in my closet?"

But Tawni was already making a beeline for the cash register. "I'm buying this for you," she finally said. "And once it is in your possession, you will have no excuse not to wear it." She handed the clerk her credit card and pushed the bag into my arms. "You are welcome," she said with a smirk and then headed towards the door.

Okay, Tawni Hart had just bought me sexy lingerie so I could lose my virginity to Chad Dylan Cooper.

This isn't awkward at all...

**X x**

I had it all planned out.

Never in a million years did I think I would be making a plan to seduce Chad Dylan Cooper.

I guess I could've just told him I wanted to have sex with him tonight, but Tawni was right about our big night being too planned and I could just imagine this all playing out the same way our first kiss did:

Helicopters.

Spotlights.

Missing teeth.

So, with a little help from Tawni, I decided how I would make my move.

My messenger bag flung over my shoulder with my sexy purchase tucked away inside, I headed for Chad's dressing room. I didn't bother to knock—I never did anymore—and found him gathering his things together to leave for the evening.

He looked up when he saw me approach him. "Oh, hey Sonny," he said to me as he threw his car keys up in the air and then caught them in his other hand. "Taking off for the night?"

I nodded. "I, uh, I wanted to see if I could get a ride home," I told him, blushing furiously.

He shrugged, narrowing his eyes at me a little, probably because to how weird I was currently acting. "Oh yeah, sure," he said, guiding me towards the hall and shutting his dressing room door behind us before locking it. "You're not too far from the studio. It's only a bit out of my way."

I stopped walking and he turned around to give me a confused look. "Actually, I-I thought maybe we could stop by your apartment first?" I asked him with flush cheeks. Okay, so maybe being seductive wasn't one of my strong traits, but Chad seemed to understand.

He shifted from one foot to another, his expression one of surprise. "You're sure?"

I nodded. "Completely sure."

His mouth gaped a bit, and he nodded. He gently grasped my arm as he led me towards his car, and I could feel my nerves overtaking me. How could I be so sure about something and so scared at the same time?

Chad didn't look so calm and collected either. After the long drive to his apartment, he struggled with his keys, trying to find the right one to open the door. When he finally did, his hands clumisly dropped them onto the front step and he cursed.

I really hope he isn't like this in bed.

"Chad," I said, putting my hand on his and taking the keys from him before unlocking the door with ease.

"Thanks," he said with a nervous smile.

The door shut behind us, and we found ourselves staring at one another silently.

"Sonny," Chad finally broke the silence. "Before we do this, I need to know this is what you really want," he said with soft eyes. "This isn't the most ideal situation, you know? I mean, are you sure you wanna do this with some random guy?"

I smiled. "Chad, you're not exactly 'some random guy.' We've known each other for over four years. We respect one another, and I know that I can trust you," I said. "You're the one I wanna lose it to."

He shook his head uncertainly, looking away until I placed my hand on his arm.

"Besides," I went on. "If I don't lose it to you, I'll probably give it up to some douche bag. Maybe one that wears ponchos and drives an electric car," I told him, and he finally cracked a smile.

"Pfft. Electric cars," he said with an eye roll. "Okay," he finally agreed. "Just-If you have any second thoughts at any time, I'll stop whenever you want. I don't want you to do something because you feel like you have to."

I nodded. "I know, Chad," I whispered. We had gone over my past with Julian before.

Chad swallowed nervously and there was an awkward pause as we looked at each other, wondering what was supposed to happen next.

"So...?" he asked.

"So."

"Well."

"_Well_."

"Uh...so, shall we?" he asked me, nodding towards the stairway.

I bit my lip nervously and nodded. "We shall."

We begun to walk up the stairs to his room when I stopped. "Oh! I, uh, gotta go to the bathroom first," I quickly said, pulling my messenger bag closely to me.

"Okay. Take your time."

The next twenty minutes were spent trying to squeeze myself into the unmentionable garment I had tucked away in my bag. After a lot of sucking, pulling, grunting, and squeezing, it was finally on. As horrible as it was to put on, it certainly didn't _look _horrible.

I studied myself in the mirror, wondering if I could really wear something this sexy with confidence. The corset was beyond tight, pushing everything up to the top to spill over a bit and making my breasts look even bigger than they actually were. The lace panties turned out to be a _thong_, and the garter belt looked like something a _Playboy _centerfold would wear_._

But I did look hot, even though I felt awkward as hell.

After a five minute pep talk to myself in the bathroom mirror, I finally set off towards Chad's room.

I leaned against the bedroom doorway, watching him rush to light what had to be at least 30 candles. I smiled at this, and soon he was turning around to face me.

A lit match still pinched between his fingers, his eyes widened when he saw me. "Wow." He stood open-mouthed for a moment, the match in his fingers burning up to his fingertips before he finally put it out. Not able to look away for even a second, he approached me and put his hands on my hips. "You look incredible. I mean...You're so...So..."

"Sexy?" I offered.

"Yes," he agreed wholeheartedly with sparkling eyes.

"The candles are nice, Chad," I finally offered. "They really set the mood."

He looked over his shoulder behind him for a quick second at the candlelit bedroom and shrugged. "Yeah, well, I know you said no romance, but I thought at least one thing should be special about your first time, considering you have to spend it with me," he joked.

I smiled and, his hands still on my hips, he stared into my eyes. Before I knew it we were kissing tenderly. My hands came up to rest on his shoulders as he guided me towards the bed. The back of my legs came in contact with the mattress and we tumbled onto it.

Chad was lying on me, his mouth moving across my neck and down my collar bone. "Mmm...You're so perfect," he told me and I blushed at his comment. We rolled onto our sides and his hands came around my back to undo the clasps of my bustier, our lips still locked together. Amazingly, it only took a fraction of the time to remove as it did to put on.

I sighed as he kissed up my stomach before leaving a trail of kisses between my breasts. He stopped, sitting up for only a second to remove his own shirt, before returning his lips to mine, his hands smoothing up my tummy before gently rubbing my breasts. My skin had already broken out in goosebumps at his touch as he rolled my nipple between his finger and thumb before flicking his tongue over it.

I could already feel him hard against me, and my hands reached to unbutton his jeans before sliding them down his legs with ease. Chad quickly returned to his place on top of me as our lips moved feverishly together, our hands exploring one another's bodies. My fingers traced the defined crease down the center of his chest, stopping at the waistband of his tented boxers. I slyly pushed him back and then reached beneath the plaid fabric, grasping him and working him softly. I pulled his boxers down just enough to relieve him from his constraints, bending down and slowly licking his tip before taking it into my mouth.

"Sonny," he groaned, his eyes filled with passion on fire. "N-not too much," he reminded me through soft groans and I removed my hands from where they were grasped.

Chad sat up, his hands coming up to clasp the top of my thighs, his fingers slowly massaging across the crease where my panties lie.

"P-Please Chad..." I moaned, begging for his touch. With a mischievous smile, he hooked his fingers at the edge of the fabric of my panties and slowly brought them down my legs, off the tips of my toes, and casually threw them to the side. He licked his fingers before bringing them between my legs to stroke me slowly and evenly. "Ch-Chad!" My muscles tensed as he worked me, his fingertips growing slick with wetness. With a smirk, he brought his head between my legs, separating the soft, wet folds with his fingers and then licking between them. "I-I..._Oh god!_"

I threw my head back against the satin pillow beneath it as my chest rose. Feeling like I couldn't possibly wait any longer, I finally composed myself long enough to reach for his boxers, pushing them down to his knees so that he could easily kick them off. Chad looked at me uncertainly for a minute before he reached over to his nightstand and grabbed a condom. He quickly opened it and placed it on the tip of himself, rolling it down his shaft skillfully.

As much as I wanted this, my body was shaking with nervousness as Chad situated himself between my thighs. "It's okay," he soothed, placing his hands on my shoulders to calm me. "I'll go really gently," he assured me and I nodded. His eyes locked on mine for a minute before he positioned himself at my entrance. With some difficulty, Chad pushed himself up to his hilt as pain radiated through my lower body.

I gripped Chad's forearms, gasping loudly at the burning sensation that ripped through me. Panicking, my entire body tensed with pain as a look of shock reflected through Chad's eyes. My muscles contracted at the feeling of my boundary being broken, which only allowed the pain to intensify. I whimpered and Chad swiftly leaned down to capture my lips softly with his. I relaxed somewhat at his gentle act of affection and allowed him to move slowly in and out of my body.

After a few soft thrusts, some of the pain began to dwindle away, allowing a burst of pleasure to take it's place. Before long, I was moving my hips with his, encouraging him to go faster. Realizing this, Chad finally let out a grunt of pleasure as his hips began to buck more quickly.

"Oh god, Sonny!" he exclaimed as he quickly moved. Finally, he grasped the back of my thighs, bending my legs towards me so he could work himself deeper and faster. As he began to reach his climax, he plunged into me at a lightening-fast pace.

"Chad! _Ohhh_!" My hands gripped his shoulders tightly, my nails digging into his skin as we climaxed. He shuddered suddenly before collapsing against me and burying his face in the crook of my neck. We were both breathing hard and I smiled in satisfaction at the feel of his body heavy on mine and his longish blonde hair draping in my face. The fine sheen of sweat that covered our bodies caused our damp skin to stick together slightly. Chad removed his head from where it was buried in my hair to place a chaste kiss on my forehead.

"Chad, that was so incredible," I said, staring up at him in awe as he smiled back.

"I know," he said softly, leaning in and kissing my lips. "Stay the night?" he requested with pleading eyes.

"Do I have a choice?" I asked him with a giggle.

"Nope," he replied with a smile, pulling my back against his chest. His hand came up to tuck my messy hair behind my ear as he rested his chin on my shoulder. This moment was everything I had wanted it to be and more.

I relaxed against Chad's warm chest and his arms pulled me tightly against him as he smoothed circles over my bare stomach with his fingertips. "You're so amazing, Sonny," he whispered in my ear, and I smiled at his words. Chad, seemingly exhausted from from our love-making, tuckered out early. I, however, lie wide awake in his arms for awhile, realizing how much I really did love him. When I finally allowed sleep to overtake me, I smiled as dreams of Chad and I together filled my head.

The next morning my dream would be shattered when I woke up cold and alone.

It didn't take me long to realize that Chad had left me that morning without saying a word.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Ahh, you didn't think this chapter would end on a happy note now did you? Hmm, it seems Chad and Sonny still have a lot of issues to work out.

Next chapter will probably be Chad's POV again.

If you hadn't already noticed, I gave Chad back his Season One hair because it's way sexier (in my opinion at least). =)


	10. Chapter 10

**SOMETIMES ALWAYS**

**::Chapter 10::**

**[Chad POV] **

I quickly walked through the halls of Condor Studios followed by the click-clack of a fiery brunette in a pair of heels who was fast on my tale. I could tell just from her footsteps she was pissed at me right now. I squeezed my eyes shut when I felt her grasp my shoulder and quickly spin me around to face her.

"You have some nerve, Chad!" she yelled at me. I knew exactly what I had coming, but her tone made me flinch nonetheless. "This is _my_ life you are messing with. We are not together, and you had no business doing that!"

"He was hitting on you!" I spoke quickly, my voice getting high as I defended myself. "If I hadn't have pushed him, he'd still have his filthy hands all over you!"

Sonny rolled her eyes at me in disgust. "He had his hand on my _back_. It wasn't like he was grabbing my chest or something! And I know he was hitting on me, you idiot. That's why I was flirting with him!"

I felt my stomach lurch at her words.

"You're acting like you're still my boyfriend, and you're not! So just stop butting into my love life!"

I scoffed. "_Love _life? That guy is a _dick, _Sonny. You're way too good for him. Why can't you see that?"

She stood there glaring at me, arms crossed and scowling. "That's not for you to decide, Chad! You just..." she groaned, slapping her hand on her forehead. "Chad, you need to get over me. This-" she said, motioning between us, "is over, okay? So, just stop it already."

She turned to leave, but I grabbed her elbow before she could walk away.

"Sonny..." I choked. Her eyes softened slightly as I tried to find the courage to say the words I needed her to hear. "I-I love you, okay?" I admitted nervously. The words seemed so foreign and awkward coming from my mouth. It had taken a lot of nerve for me to finally admit it, but I was glad that I did. I waited for her to say something, hoping and praying she would return the sentiment.

Sonny squared her jaw as she stared at me in disbelief and anger. "I don't love you, Chad," she finally said. "Not only do I not love you, but I don't even want you in my _life_ anymore." She spun on her heel and and left. I stood in shock for a minute before retreating to my dressing room and taking out my aggression on the Tween Choice Award that still taunted me from the shelf.

My eyes snapped open, the brunette girl I'd just made love to only hours ago still nestled against my chest and sleeping soundly. Suddenly, I let her from my embrace, quickly putting space between us as if she were something toxic. I rolled out of the bed, standing up and backing away before running my hand through my hair.

What had I just done? How could Sonny Munroe have made me forget our past so easily? As much as I had wanted to, I couldn't just blank out what had happened between us. Regardless what had happened last night, she was still the girl who'd broken my heart three years ago.

And that dream had reopened an old wound

I needed to get out of there, and without much more thought, I left.

**X x**

"Chad?" Chastity's muffled voice called me from outside my dressing room door. "Chad, open up now!" she demanded. I sat in a trance, listening to her hushed exchange with Skyler outside my door. I could hear them leave for a few minutes before a quiet curse and the sound of a key scraping against metal. Damn, I knew I would regret giving him those.

I was huddled up on my leather sofa, staring aimlessly across the room when Chastity hurried inside and shut the door behind her. "What the hell is going on with you today?" she demanded. "Don't you know that the network executives are on there way here right now? We both know that no good ever comes from that."

When I didn't bother to meet her eyes, her voice lowered. "Chad, have you been crying?"

"Of course not."

Chastity looked at me skeptically. "Oh, I suppose having puffy, red eyes is just normal for you then?"

I didn't care if I looked like a sappy idiot who cried over some girl. Trying to keep up with my too cool appearance was the last thing on my mind right now. "I'm a terrible person," I finally admitted.

She frowned. "What happened?"

"I can't do it, Chas. I thought that I could...but I just _can't_ do it," I rambled. "I'm scared...It hurt so much. I can't go back there."

Chastity's looked down at me, studying me with concern. "Chad, what's going on?" she asked warningly. When I didn't answer her, she sunk to her knees in front of my chair, putting her hand on my knee. "Chad, did something happen with Sonny Munroe?" she finally asked me.

I cringed at the very mention of her name. I felt like I was going to get sick, I was so disgusted with myself right then. "We...had sex," I softly admitted. "And I left. I just got up and left her."

Chastity's eyes widened at my confession. "You..._left_?"

"It was fine. Everything was hunky dory. We...," I trailed off. "And then I had this dream. But it wasn't a dream, it was a memory of what happened right before things got really bad. I can't get hurt again, Chastity. I just-I can't take this anymore." I groaned as I turned away from her, getting very caught up in my own misery. "I should have never agreed to this. Now there's no going back. It's inevitable that someone gets hurt. And I guess that someone is her," I said, feeling awful.

Chastity bit her lip with a frown. "Chad, you don't need to feel guilty about what you did," she finally said.

"How can I not!" I asked her in anguish. "Who takes a girl's virginity and then leaves before she even wakes up in the morning? I'm disgusting. I'm despicable. I hate myself," I finally admitted, sinking even further into the cushy sofa. "I really, really _hate_ myself."

"Chad, stop," she pleaded with a soft expression. "Don't say that."

"It's true," I muttered.

"Chad, tell me, what was this arrangement?" she finally asked me. "Because the way you explained it, it was just physical. As in sex without a relationship, I assume?"

I buried my face into the palms of my hands as she spoke.

"Chad, look at me," she demanded, and I finally removed my face from my hands. "You did exactly what Sonny wanted you to do. You had sex with her without complicating it with a relationship. Come on. What did she expect? A freaking promise ring or something?"

"I don't know. I just-" I sighed. "I-I think I still love her, Chas," I whispered. "I love her, but I can't be _with_ her. What's wrong with me?"

Chastity sighed. "Nothing is wrong with you, Chad. After everything you went through with Sonny, it's only human to want to protect yourself from more pain," she explained as she patted my hand. "And these feelings you have for her—they'll go away in time, just like they did before."

I shook my head. "I think I'm gonna puke."

"Chad, you need to pull yourself together," she told me. "Today is a huge day for us and if we blow this, we're screwed."

I sat for a minute, digesting everything she'd just told me. "Fine."

"Good. Now, let's get to rehearsal before the execs have even more of a reason to cancel us," she added, grasping my hand and tugging me up from my seat.

**X x**

"As you all know, our ratings have been less than favorable this season. Despite our best efforts to gain new viewers by adding new cast members, those ratings still continue to fall," Mr. Condor told us during a meeting of the _Falls' _cast and crew that day. "With our season finale coming up, we've decided that it's best to do some more publicity for the show to hopefully renew interest in it. That means that Chad and Chastity will be setting off to New York for a couple of weeks after we finish taping the season finale."

I heard Chastity groan in annoyance, and I didn't feel much better about the idea.

Mr. Condor and the network executives had called the meeting that morning in the hopes of saving our failing show. It would be a lie if I said I hadn't expected it; things had been going downhill for _Mackenzie Falls _for awhile now.

"Seriously?" I scoffed. "We're promoting the show at the end of the season?"

"We're promoting the season _finale_," Mr. Condor interjected. "And if we don't gain more viewers for our last two shows, you all can bet that you won't be back here next year," he grumbled.

Marty, our producer, stood up as Mr. Condor and the network executives exited the meeting room. "Don't worry kids," he said, trying his best to calm us. "This'll all work out."

"Uh, how are we _not _supposed to worry?" I asked in an irritated voice. "We're all about to lose our jobs."

Marty offered a small smile. "Chad, where exactly do you see yourself in five years? Still here playing Mackenzie?"

I shrugged.

"Chastity," he went on. "I know you've had other role offers since you've started here. Kids, don't look at this as losing your jobs, if it comes to that. Just see it as an opportunity to expand your choice of roles."

I grunted. "How can you be so upbeat about this?" I finally asked him. After the awful morning I'd had, the last thing I wanted to worry about right now was my career.

"Chad, you are capable of so much more than this show," he finally said. "You are an amazing talent—both of you are. As much as I love _Mackenzie Falls, _maybe it's time to realize our show had run it's course. Mackenzie is grown up now," he said, motioning to me. "Well, at least the actor who plays him is."

I rolled my eyes. "So I do what? Try out for a new show that'll probably get axed after two weeks? Star in a movie that bombs at the box office before I disappear into obscurity?"

"You know how this business goes. It's a chance you take, Chad." Marty said with a shrug. "I just think that by doing this promotional tour in hopes of getting picked up for a ninth season, we're ruining the legacy of what was once a great show. It's been eight wonderful years, guys. Maybe it's just time to say good-bye."

I left the meeting feeling even worse than I had this morning.

**X x**

I set off to leave the studio that evening, wondering what had happened to Sonny this morning. I hadn't seen anything of her the entire day, which made me worry. With our two stages being right next to one another, it was almost impossible not to see her at some point during the day.

I imagined her balled up on my bed, naked and crying. I imagined how completely abandoned she must feel right now. We were not supposed to end up like this. When I took her back to my house last night, I imagined us waking up in one another's arms and declaring our undying love for each other, followed by a morning of endless love-making, of course.

I didn't imagine myself running away like a coward with my tail between my legs.

As I neared the exit to set out to the parking lot, my eye's met hers. Sonny looked frightened that I had spotted her at first, but then continued to walk confidently towards the door as if she didn't even know me.

"Sonny, wait," I said as she reached for the handle. She paused in her tracks and turned around to face me. "I, uh, I realize I wasn't the nicest person to you this morning just leaving like that."

"What do you mean?" she asked me innocently as my eyes narrowed at her in confusion.

"It's just that we...And then the leaving..." I stuttered uncomfortably. What was going on here?

"Oh, you mean having sex with me last night and then leaving first thing this morning?" she asked with a scowl. "Oh no, it's fine Chad. It's completely acceptable to take something so important from someone and then bolt as soon as it's over with. Why on _Earth _did you think I'd be mad?" she asked as I shifted uncomfortably in front of her. "Because you left me without a ride? Or because taking my virginity meant absolutely _nothing_ to you? I guess I'll know better than to trust my own judgment next time at least."

"Sonny-" I began.

She sighed. "Chad, as much of a jerk you are for doing this, we both know what this was in the first place. You pulled your end of the bargain, and now it's done. We weren't together anyway and it's not like all this messing around was actually going to lead to anything. It was just sex. It's stupid for us to think otherwise."

"Yeah, I guess," I responded, although I knew deep down it was a lot more than just fucking. Last night had been like the moment my entire relationship with Sonny was building up to. As much as I wanted her, I knew that the right choice was always the one that was the most difficult to make. By turning her away now, I was avoiding an enviable heartbreak.

Sonny shook her head at me and then left. I watched sadly as she walked out of the building and, ultimately, out of my life.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: The End. **Just kidding. Umm, short chapter but that's the way it wanted to be written. Thanks for all of the reviews, everyone. I savor each and every one.


	11. Chapter 11

**SOMETIMES ALWAYS**

**::Chapter 11::**

The early sun that poured through the windows of my half-empty apartment awakened me that morning. I sat up slowly, rubbing my tired eyes before getting out of bed and patting across the cold floors of the room and into the kitchen to fetch myself a cup of coffee, strong and black. I promised Marshall that I would very willingly work longer hours this week since it was decided that _So Random_'s series finale would be an hour-long one.

Working my ass off has always been a good distraction for me, and boy did I need one right now. Chad and I aren't talking anymore. I had broken down in tears that morning at his apartment, calling Tawni to come pick me up. Tawni was horrified, yet not surprised, by Chad's actions.

"I told you, Sonny. When guys are having sex, nothing else matters. They will tell you what they want you to hear."

"You're the one that encouraged it!" I said, feeling angry.

"I didn't tell you to fall in love with the jerk!" she quickly said. "He obviously doesn't feel the same way about you."

I was slumped down in the passenger side seat of her car as she spoke to me. When I burst into tears once again at her last comment, she decided to hold her tongue, however. I didn't need her to rub it all in my face that she was right; it wasn't helping anything, after all.

After that, we had decided that it was best I avoid him all together. Tawni had told me to "Walk tall and have some self-respect." In other words, I was supposed to pretend like what he had done had absolutely no effect on me. I think Chad and I both knew the act I was trying to put on was complete bullshit, though.

I still loved him. As much as I didn't want it to be true, it was.

The drive to work that day was a long and dark one. After I had arrived at the studio, I could feel a migraine coming on as I sat in the prop house, staring at the blank screen of my lap top: Writer's block.

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop thinking about _Chad_:

The words he lovingly whispered into my ear.

The way our bodies fit together so perfectly.

How he held me tightly in his arms as we fell asleep together.

Slamming my laptop shut, I walked to the nearest potted plant and poured my cold coffee out into it's pot. I looked out the window at the _Mackenzie Falls_ sound stage and felt my eyes tearing up again. How could I have allowed myself to be so deceived? It had started to feel as if I had nothing left: _So Random _was ending, my mom was halfway across the country, and Chad didn't love me. The last confession was a bitter one I had forced myself to make.

I choked back a sob.

"So this is where you work?" a strained yet familiar voice asked from behind me, and I instantly spun around.

I blinked my eyes at what I saw. "You came," I said in amazement as my dad's smiling brown eyes stared back at me.

"Of course. My baby girl invited me to see where she makes her television magic. How could I resist?" he added with a grin. His smile faltered slightly when he saw that I had been crying. "You okay?"

Without a second thought, I ran into my daddy's arms and enveloped him with a hug as I cried.

He seemed apprehensive at first to be dealing with his bawling, now grown-up daughter for the first time in ten years, but then gently began to hug me back. "I'm just so glad you're here," I mumbled, my face buried in the shoulder of his jacket. I needed someone so bad right now—someone that _truly _cared about me. My father had come a the best moment imaginable.

He chuckled at my statement. "Me, too," he said before studying the odd props that surrounded him. "This is some room."

I finally let go of my death grip on my father and smiled, wiping away a few stray tears. "Yeah, only at _So Random,_" I agreed. "This is such a fantastic surprise."

He shrugged. "Can't be too much of a surprise. You added me to the admit list at the front gate."

"I just didn't think you'd actually come," I admitted, thinking back to our last day together.

"Well, why not?" he asked me, and I decided to let the question go.

"Let me give you the grand tour," I said excitedly, grasping my father's hand, leading him out into the hallway, and feeling like a kid again.

Two hours later we were still walking the hallways of Condor Studios with a couple of fro-yo's in hand. I had introduced him to Marshall and even Mr. Condor that morning. Both seemed a little too occupied with work to be too hospitable, but as the girl who was once known as fatherless, I was proud to have my dad at my side and taking an interest in my life.

"People are very busy here," my dad commented as people with clipboards and briefcases rushed by us.

"Yeah. Well, we're all working on wrapping up our shows for the season," I said. "It's a busy time of year for everyone here."

He nodded as he shoveled a spoonful of frozen yogurt into his mouth and then motioned towards the giant _Mackenzie Falls _photo of Chad. "That looks familiar," he said, a bit out of breath from all the walking around. "I think I might've seen that one," he told me, referring to the show. My dad honestly wasn't familiar with any of the shows that are taped at Condor Studios, considering that most of them were aimed at teen and 'tween audiences.

I instantly noticed that Chad, who was talking to one of the productions assistants outside the studio doors, paused to look up at my dad and I. He stared curiously at us, and when he finally realized who I was with, his brows furrowed together in disapproval.

"Yeah? Well, they poke fun of it on _The Soup _a lot," I told my dad in a voice loud enough for Chad to hear. "You know, bad story lines and _horrible_ actors."

Chad said something quietly to his production assistant and then began to walk towards us. Before he could, I quickly grabbed my dad's arm and veered him off in the opposite direction. "Hey, let me introduce you to the_ New_ _Tween Gladiators_. They're always a fun bunch," I told him as I quickly drug him away. The last thing I needed was Chad ruining the first good day I've had all week.

Later that afternoon, I let my dad sit in on our rehearsal. I would look towards the place where he sat in the audience occasionally to make sure he was having a good time. He smiled a lot, but only bothered to laugh at my jokes. I think it was a bit confusing for him since most of our sketches made pop culture references, but he stood up and clapped loudly when we were finished.

"That was fantastic, Baby Girl," he said with a grin. "And you wrote all that yourself." He wiped away the a fine sheen of sweat that had broken out on his forehead, and I wondered how he could be perspiring in our cold studio where the air conditioner was always on full blast.

"Well, only _some _of it," I admitted, blushing at his compliment.

My dad put the palm of his hand on my shoulder as we headed away from the sound stage. "Well, your parts were my favorite," he added with a wink.

"How do you know which ones I wrote?" I asked him.

"I don't," he said, shrugging.

I smiled as we walked back towards my dressing room. My dad stopped at the door and checked his watch.

"You have to go now, don't you?" I said, feeling a bit sad.

He nodded. "I've got a bus ticket back to Nevada."

With a small smile, I nodded in understanding. "You can come back and visit me anytime. I'd give you my address, but I'm sorta in the process of moving and I haven't found a place yet."

"You'll be staying here then?" he asked me, looking around the studio.

"Ugh, _no_. I practically live here the way it is. I'm moving my things to a hotel for awhile. Hopefully after all the craziness here lets up, I'll have the time to find the perfect place."

My dad scratched his beard thoughtfully. "You know, I've thought about moving here to L.A., finding a job, and settling down in an apartment."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I have some financial things to sort out back in Nevada, but I thought it'd be nice to be close to my one and only daughter."

I smiled brightly. "I could probably help you find a job here! I have all sorts of connections," I told him. "Nothing that fantastic, I'm afraid, but it would be a starting point."

He nodded. "Yeah..." he said, thoughtfully. "Yeah, I'd appreciate that."

"Maybe we could be roommates for awhile?" I asked him excitedly. "I kinda hate living by myself. I get scared being alone all the time in this huge city."

"What?" he asked surprised. "My Baby Girl isn't afraid of anything!" he exclaimed.

I giggled at his reply.

"That would be nice," he admitted. "If you're sure you don't wanna live with some lame old man?"

"You can't be any lamer than mom was," I said with a laugh. "I'm talking Boggle tournaments every Saturday night."

I gave my dad a ride to the bus station that evening. Dad seemed a bit agitated as his bus began to board, and I decided that it was probably because he didn't want to leave anymore than I wanted him to. "I love you, Baby Girl," he finally told me as he gave me a hug. "No matter what happens, remember that."

I frowned in confusion as I listened to his words. "I love you too, Dad," I told him as I hugged him back. I wasn't sure why his words seemed so...cryptic and I wasn't in the mood to ask him why. This had been the first perfect reunion with my father and the first perfect day I'd had in a long time.

I watched him board and then take a seat on next to the window. I waved good-bye to him as the bus drove away, grinning widely.

**X x**

"You look happy," Nico told me a few days later at lunch time. "It's nice, Sonny. You've seemed really stressed lately."

I smiled.

The past few days had been looking up for me. My writer's block had finally passed, I was able to start blocking out my one-sided feelings for Chad, and I already had the perfect job in mind for my dad.

"I'm so excited, Nico," I told him. "I can't wait to start looking at apartments. Hopefully, I will only be stuck in a hotel for a week or two. Thanks to you and Grady for helping me move, by the way."

"Of course," he said. "Are you still getting a place with your dad?"

I nodded. "I found the nicest little place in the Hills. I can't wait for him to see it. I haven't lived with my dad in forever," I finally admitted. "I hope it isn't awkward for us. I really want this to work out."

"He seems like a good guy," Nico told me. "I'm sure it will all be fine."

Later that day, after the rest of the Randoms had gone home, I danced around the prop house humming as I finished up a sketch I had been working on. I looked up when I saw Marshall standing in the doorway and remembered the movie details we were supposed to go over.

"Oh, Marshall. I didn't forget, I swear!" I quickly told him. "I know I'm supposed to be working on those reservations for the shoot, I just got a little side-tracked with this sketch."

Marshall didn't smile or even reply. His face held a solemn look as he walked towards me. "I'm not worried about the reservations right now," he said in an saddened voice. "Can we sit down for a minute?"

I found the expression on his face more than a little alarming. I didn't sit. I just stood there, staring at him worriedly. Marshall never acted this serious about anything. "What's wrong?" my voice squeaked.

Marshall swallowed hard. "Kiddo," he began. "I'm afraid I have some bad news."

A million thoughts ran through my head. Oddly enough, my first thought was of Chad, fearing that something might have happened to him. "W-what happened?" I finally asked, feeling the blood drain from my face.

"Sonny, I just received a call from Mercy Memorial Hospital in Nevada," he began uncomfortably. "Sonny, it's your dad."

"He's sick again," I choked. "He's okay, right? I have to go. I need to visit him." I my eyes began to scan the prop house frantically for my purse. I should have noticed the signs that he was becoming ill again when he was sweating and breathing hard. Why hadn't I made the connection earlier?

"Sonny," Marshall stepped forward, putting his hand on my wrist to stop my fruitless search for my purse. "He was in really bad condition when they brought him in. He didn't make it. I'm so sorry, Kiddo."

My eyes widened at his words. "No way," I quickly said. "There's no way. He was just here four days ago! This is some sort of mix-up," I told him as I backed away in shock.

"Sonny, it's not a mistake."

Marshall stared at me with serious eyes and I burst into tears as he walked towards me and gripped my shoulders. "B-but, Marshall..I-I just saw him," I sobbed loudly. "Th-there's no way. How could he have gotten so bad, so fast?"

"I don't know," he replied softly. "Sometimes people are good at hiding these things from the ones they love."

My knees became weak as I finally began to accept the fact that my father had died and my legs gave out from underneath me. Marshall caught me, hugging me tightly. "It's gonna be okay, Kiddo. We're all here for you right now."

I sobbed into Marshall's suit jacket for a good while, feeling my world come crashing down all around me.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Betcha were wondering where Nico and Grady went, huh? No, not really? Just want more Channy sex? I know this update it another short chapter, but it's just a little event I wanted to write that signals a turning point.

Channy in the next chapter. I PLOMISE! (Whether they decide to do it or not is up to them.) :p


	12. Chapter 12

**SOMETIMES ALWAYS**

**::Chapter 12::**

"Mom, I swear I'll be fine," I tried to convince my mother through the telephone that evening. "Marshall let me take the rest of the week off, and I decided that I'm ready to come back on Monday. Seriously, it's okay."

I heard my worried mother sigh through the other side of the line. "Honey, I just don't understand why you felt that you couldn't tell me about this. You know that I'm here for you no matter what."

"I know," I said softly. "But you were moving, and you have a new husband. I didn't exactly think you'd want dad back in your life right now, even if it was indirectly."

I had been trying to convince my mom for the past 20 minutes that there was no reason for her to rush back to LA right now. I had been trying to convince myself that exact same thing for the past three days. I was trying to be strong and not drag her into this, but deep down I really wanted my mommy.

"Okay, honey. I need to get back to Jason now. If you need anything at all, even just to talk-"

"I know Mom," I said with a smile.

"I love you, sweetie."

"I love you too, mom. Bye," I said into the phone, rolling my eyes at Nico and Grady, who were currently helping take the last load of boxes out to the moving truck. This weekend was my big move weekend, and it couldn't have come at a worse time. It had only been a few days since my father had passed, but I had little choice in the matter, considering my lease was up as of Monday. That meant this would be my last night in the apartment, and as of tomorrow, I would be homeless and living in a hotel. _Yay_.

I sighed heavily as I stuck my phone into my back pocket. "Well, that was exhausting."

Nico grinned as he taped up another box. "Well, if the worst your mom has ever done is love you too much, I'd say there's not much to complain about," he pointed out.

I nodded in agreement. "Again, thank you so much for doing this, guys."

Grady quickly held his hands up. "Don't even mention it. I've been working my deltoids all day, so thank _you_."

Nico stood up straight for a minute, stretching his tired arms over his head. "Are you sure you're gonna be okay, Sonny? I mean, I think Marshall would let you have more time if you need it."

I sighed. "I'm fine, Nico. And besides, there _is _no more time," I pointed out. We were quickly reaching the end of the season, and taking another day off would mean missing out on the series finale completely. Nico gave me a weak smile as he placed another stack of boxes onto the handcart.

I was about to reach for another box when the doorbell rang. "Crap," I said. "Leave it to Tawni not to bother showing up until everything is already done," I muttered. But as I opened the door, I found Chad, and not Tawni, standing on the other side. He had his hands stuck down in his pockets, looking awkwardly towards me.

"Uh, hey Sonny."

My mouth gaped as I failed to return his pleasantry. "What are you doing here?" I finally managed to ask him once I had pulled myself together.

He bit his lips together, pausing for a minute. "I heard about your dad. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Can I come in?" he asked.

I narrowed my eyes, pondering his request for a quick second before allowing him to enter my apartment. "Sorry. Marshall just mentioned it this morn-Hey, where did all your stuff go?" he stopped himself to ask me mid-sentence.

I rolled my eyes at him, realizing how completely out-of-touch he was with my life. "Well, most of it is in Wisconsin, and I'm moving this weekend so-"

His eyes widened. "You're moving back to Wisconsin? Sonny, I didn't even-Why didn't you tell me?"

Grady and Nico stared at us suspiciously. It had been pretty evident to everyone that something had happened between Chad and I, though Tawni and I had failed to fill them in on any of the details. It wasn't exactly a topic for discussion between two boys that were like brothers to me.

"Sonny, I think this is the rest of it," Grady quickly said as he rolled the handcart into the hallway. "We'll be back tomorrow to help move it into storage."

Nico stopped short of the door, turning back to me. "You sure you'll be okay?" he asked, sending a glare Chad's way.

"I'm fine. Thanks guys," I said as they left, shutting the door behind them.

I looked back to Chad, who was still staring at me with shock.

"I'm not moving to Wisconsin, Chad," I finally said. "I'm moving to a hotel."

He seemed relieved by this, but then frowned. "You're moving to a hotel by yourself? That doesn't exactly sound like a safe living arrangement for a teenage girl."

"I'm almost 20," I retorted, as if it made some sort of huge difference. "Chad, did you come here for a reason?"

"I just came to offer my condolences," he said. "And to make sure you were alright," he added.

"I'm just fine," I said as I turned around, busying myself with wiping an imaginary layer of dust from the window seal with my sleeve. "I barely knew the guy. What's there to get upset about?" I choked, admonishing myself at my show of weakness.

"Sonny," he said my name warningly.

"You can go Chad. Everything is fine here." I squeezed my eyes shut, letting a tear slip through.

"Come on, Sonny," he finally said. "I'm not an idiot—I can tell when you're lying to me."

Finally I turned to him, my eyes filling with tears as Chad looked at me with concern. "It's my fault, Chad! It's all my fault!" I finally sobbed. It had been slowly eating away at me all week long.

Chad's eyes widened in shock, he lips parting. "Sonny, no," he said softly. "How on Earth could this be your fault?" he asked.

"I should have known he was sick! I should have recognized the signs and tried to help him instead of sending him back to Nevada on that bus," I said as my body wreaked with sobs. "If his own daughter can't help him, then who the hell is supposed to?"

Chad quickly closed the space between us, grabbing my elbows firmly. "Sonny, it's not your fault. He had an addiction. These things are extremely difficult to overcome."

"I just let him die, Chad. He knew he wasn't going to get through this alone, and I didn't even try to help him!" I tried to pull from his grasp, but Chad only held my arms more firmly. "I-If I had just made him stay...made him get help right then, he'd still be alive right now. He'd at least have a _chance_ of getting better." My tears were flowing quickly now, but Chad's death grip on my elbows kept me from wiping them away.

Chad took a deep breath before pulling me against him and enveloping me in his arms as I cried deliriously into his shoulder. I was breaking down, feeling like there was nothing left of me. I tried to pull myself together as Chad rubbed soothing circles over my back, shushing me quietly. "It'll be okay, Sonny. It wasn't your fault. No one blames you."

"What do you mean no one blames me? _I _blame me!" I told him. "What good am I if I can't even help my own father? I'm a _horrible_ daughter." I heaved a huge breath, disappointed in myself.

Chad quickly pushed me at arm's length to stare into my eyes. "How can you even say that, Sonny? Your dad disappeared for 10 years and you let him back into your life. Do you know how many people would be willing to do that? None."

"I just miss him, Chad," I went on. "I loved him so much, and now I'll never really get to know him. H-he reached out to me that last day I saw him," I said with a sniffle. "I didn't even realize it, but it was like he was saying good-bye forever."

Chad looked at me sadly, gently cupping my chin and wiping the tears from my cheeks as I began to settle myself down. "I just wish I could make you feel better," he admitted. "But I've never been through this, and I don't know what to say other than I'm sorry."

I leaned forward to rest my head against his shoulder again as my sobs began to subside. "It'll be okay, Sonny," he soothed softly into my ear. It sounded like such a generic thing to say, but I needed to believe it. I most certainly did not want to feel this crappy any longer.

I took a deep breath as his hands still gripped me tightly, finally looking up at him when I felt his eyes staring down at me. His body felt so warm and comforting against mine, and there was a moment when I struggled to understand the intense energy that surged between us. Before I knew it, our lips connected. Chad's hands came down to rest on my hips as our we kissed feverishly and needfully. My hands were tangled into hair as I pushed against him, causing him to stumble back slightly.

I had _needed _this for so long. The days of being without him, without feeling his touch, obscured my common sense.

The next thing I knew, our hands were working quickly to undress one another as we stumbled to the bedroom, leaving a trail of garments behind us. Chad opened the door to my room without parting his lips from mine and flung it open with such force that it slammed against the wall. Once inside, Chad managed to unhook his pants and boxers, which were caught around his ankles, off of his feet and to the floor. I tumbled atop him on my bed as his hands smoothed over my tummy and up my breasts as I moved to straddle him.

"Hang on," he quickly said, leaning over to where he had discarded his jeans and digging through the his pockets until he found his wallet. He retrieved a condom from it and quickly opened the package before unrolling it down his shaft. His hands held my hips, guiding me down onto his tip. A familiar pain radiated through my body for a second, causing me to gasp at first. But as Chad's hands guided me and I gently began to ride him, the pain quickly melted away.

"Oh god, Chad," I moaned as pleasure shot through my entire body. He sat up enough to bury his face in my breasts as I panted, his hands planted firmly on my bottom as he pushed himself deeper inside of me.

Whimpering with desire, I began to quicken my pace, my body crashing down onto his.

In an attempt to send me over the edge, Chad's fingers came down to stroke the sensitive flesh at the top of my entrance as I threw my head back, moaning loudly. I didn't hold myself back a bit—I didn't give a crap if the neighbors on the other side of the wall heard us or not.

Chad groaned loudly as I rode him roughly and quickly. I was coming down on him with such force that the headboard of my bed bounced up against the wall as the frame beneath us squeaked loudly.

"Oh God!" Chad moaned huskily, desire filling his eyes. We finally came together and I collapsed against his chest as I attempted to catch my breath.

It had all happened so fast, and I was thankful that Chad had at least remembered the condom.

The moments that followed were awkward. I felt his hands smooth up my back, but then quickly pull away. Finally, I slowly climbed off of him, sitting up and swinging my legs over the side of the bed as I wrapped my arms around my naked torso, suddenly feeling very exposed. Chad sat next to me, his face expressionless and his breathing still heavy. Neither of us said anything for awhile.

"I didn't mean for that to happen," Chad finally managed, probably realizing we'd be sitting there for awhile if he didn't say anything. "Honestly Sonny, I didn't have that in mind at all when I came over here."

"I know."

I stared at the floor, wondering what I had just allowed myself to do. I felt the bed shift as Chad stood up and tugged his boxers back on and I followed in suit, finding my t-shirt and panties.

He had moved to find his the rest of his clothes when I stopped him. "Chad, d-do you think you could stay?" I asked him nervously, squinting at how needy my question sounded. "I just don't feel like being alone right now." I began to fear that the moment he walked out that door my mind would return back to my dad, and I would spend another restless night crying alone in my empty apartment.

He went to say something, probably to decline my request, but then stopped himself. Nodding, he wrapped his arm around my waist as we lie back in my tiny twin-sized bed. And right then, I was glad I was still sleeping in my juvenile bed; otherwise, Chad wouldn't have had to hold me so closely that night.

**X x**

The night Chad spent with me was the most restful I'd had in awhile. When I awoke the next morning, he was snoring softly behind me, his arm still wrapped around my waist. I let out a small sigh of relief that he was still there, and I felt him begin to stir.

"Mmm," he moaned. "You awake already?"

"It's 7:30," I pointed out.

"Too early," he said groggily. "How did you sleep?"

"Great."

I felt his hand begin to absentmindedly smooth up and down my tummy. I closed my eyes, smiling at the sensation. It was one I could get used to—not that I would actually allow myself to. I tried to remind myself that this was just another one night fling between us. I had been feeling vulnerable, and Chad obviously horny. Not that I blamed him for our night together; I had practically thrown myself at him, after all.

But the tension that had built up between us over the past several days seemed to melt away in minutes. For that, I was thankful.

As Chad's hand rubbed upward, accidentally brushing against my hardened nipple, my back involuntarily arched into him. My bottom pressed against his groin, causing him to groan.

"S-Sonny..." he gasped, his breath hitching in his chest. I closed my eyes as I turned to face him before feeling his lips softly touch mine. He kissed me gently and tenderly—it was a far cry from what had happened last night. Last night had been so rough, so needful. But now his actions were so..._loving_? I tried not to think about that word too much.

His lips moved down to my neck, placing soft kisses along my jawline as I sighed at the sensation. I knew where this was going, and that I should stop it, but I didn't. As much as I hated it, I needed to be with Chad—I still loved him.

Chad's hands tugged the bottom hem of my t-shirt up above my chest to expose my breasts. He gently sucked a nipple between his lips as his hand wandered over my other breast. The feel of his touch on my soft skin sent a blissful feeling throughout my body as his hands traveled down below the thin and lacy fabric of my panties. He delicately glided his fingers over me as I let out a small whimper.

"P-please Chad," I moaned softly, my panties growing moist.

I felt my hands tugging at the waistband of his boxers. Chad gently guided my panties down my legs before pushing himself inside of me without warning.

"Ohh..." I moaned as he moved himself in and out of my body. My legs wrapped around his waist as I cradled his pelvis between my thighs, my hands gripping his shoulders. It wasn't long before the room was, once again, filled with loud and persistent moans pleasure.

Chad buried his face into my neck as he thrust himself into me, grunting when he finally exploded inside of me. He placed a gentle kiss on my forehead once he was finished. I gave a satisfied sigh as Chad lie back down beside me.

"That was so incredibly amazing," he said with a grin.

"I think it's just what I needed," I admitted, prompting a chuckle from Chad. "But, I'm not sure it should have happened like that. This whole thing was so...irresponsible. I feel kinda dirty."

"It'll be fine, Sonny," he promised. "We're just two adults enjoying one another's bodies. Is that such a horrible thing?"

"I guess not." The sex had been fantastic, and I really couldn't see it _not _happening again. At the same time, this just wasn't something I did. It was all supposed to have ended once Chad took my virginity, but we were also supposed to be in love now. Nothing ever worked out the way I planned it.

Chad moved to find his clothes and left shortly after that, saying he had to be somewhere. I honestly wasn't surprised. I didn't exactly want Nico and Grady showing up to find he'd spent the night with me anyway. I could only _imagine _how that would have went.

"I'll see you later, Munroe," he told me before he left. It seemed so impersonal, considering what had happened between us only moments ago.

I frowned as I watched him leave. I felt a pang in my heart when I realized what Chad and I had would never be more than meaningless sex.

**A/N: **A double dose of Channy sex in celebration of the A I received for my research paper. Yay! (Actually, I've had that planned for awhile). Umm, things might get dirty now that Chad and Sonny are taking out the tension between them sexually. I hope that's okay? =D

**XxSimplyAlicexX:** I've been wondering when you will update "Outlaw." I'll update if you do! :D


	13. Chapter 13

**SOMETIMES ALWAYS**

**::Chapter 13::**

**[Chad's POV]**

My eyes slowly opened as the back of my hand came up to shield them from the tormenting morning light that never ceased to pour through the insufficient curtains that covered the windows of Sonny's hotel room.

I rolled over to see that she was still sleeping soundly next to me, the crisp, white sheets entangled around her hips. She lie on her side and the bright light that beamed through the window illuminated her bare, porcelain skin. My eyes followed the curve of her body. She was amazingly beautiful—perfect and flawless in every way. Her dark chestnut and slightly wavy hair spilled over her shoulders, her arms cuddled up next to her naked frame. I lie there for awhile, taking the sight of her in. Despite my fatigue, I couldn't stop staring.

But before long the stupid alarm on her stupid phone went off, waking her up. Her eyes flickered open and she reached for the phone, silencing it.

"Ugh! Morning comes way too early," she whined, sitting up and, unfortunately, pulling the sheet that had made its way to the bottom of the bed back up to her chest.

"You're telling me."

"I probably shouldn't have stayed up so late," she said with a yawn, stretching her arms above her head. "Really, Chad. We need to start getting to sleep earlier."

"You did not complain last night," I said with a smirk, causing her to roll her eyes.

"Did you get your shower yet?" she asked me, pulling on her robe and walking towards the bathroom as I got up to follow her.

"I was waiting for you."

She groaned. "Not this again. Every time we shower together, you make me late for work."

I scoffed. "Two at a time is more efficient," I declared. "It's green _and_ it's sexy."

"Yeah?" she asked, turning on the faucet and checking the temperature with her hand. "Well, it's not so efficient _or _green when you have sex with the water on."

"No," I agreed. "But it's a hell of a lot of fun," I said as I followed her into the stall, grabbing the soap bar and ushering her to turn around so that I could wash her back. Before long I was pressing up against her, our lips moving together quickly as we stood under the warm stream of water, hands wandering over each other's wet and soapy bodies.

"Chad," she managed in between gasps as my lips nipped at her collar bone. "Protection," she reminded me before we had gotten too far.

"I was just about to," I insisted. I hopped out of the shower dripping wet and quickly retrieved a condom from the bedroom drawer before bolting back towards the shower and managing to slip and fall on my my ass on the way back in.

I could hear Sonny's mad cackles echoing inside the shower stall.

"Ahh...That's the best thing I've witnessed all week," she said with a pleased grin, wiping the tears from her eyes as I glared at her from the floor.

Half an hour later, I stepped out of the shower with a spring in my step and Sonny with slightly wobbly legs.

"Take it easy there," I joked, wrapping my free arm around her towel-clad body. "Here I thought you could handle multiple orgasms."

"We're lucky these walls are so thick," she said, digging through a dresser drawer. "I don't even want to _know _what my neighbors back at the old apartment are saying about me right now."

"Eh. Probably just jealous."

"Sure, Chad," she said with another eye roll.

She stood in the mirror, brushing her long dark hair as I scattered to find the fresh pair of clothes I had stashed away in her hotel room a few days ago.

Now that our casual relationship had heated up, hardly one night went by where we weren't together. Most nights we made plans to stay at my place, but I had stopped by her hotel room late last night and things had just happened. To be honest, I'm a little weary about letting her sleep alone in this place. I often see weirdos roaming the hallways, and a girl like Sonny is an easy target. I had come over to keep an eye on her, but whenever we were around each other the sex just seemed to happen. But you won't hear any complaints here.

"Hey, they're still serving breakfast," Sonny said once I had dressed myself and was pulling my shoes on. "I bet they still have some muffins left. Wanna get something to eat?" she asked me as she dropped her towel to the ground and began to dress herself.

"Uh...Actually, I really have to go, you know, get to the studio early," I lied. "Me and Chas are running lines this morning and..."

Sonny's mouth went agape, her cheeks blushing furiously. "Oh, that's okay."

"I mean, it's the season finale and all..."

"Right," she said, standing there in her underwear and looking at her bare feet, completely disappointed.

I hated awkward moments like these. The look on her face made me feel horrible. There was nothing I'd love more than to go downstairs and share a blueberry muffin with her right now, but it would be leading her on. We would be entering "dating territory" and I was trying my best to avoid sending her mixed signals since this all would be ending once our shows did. I didn't want to hurt her after all.

"See you later," I said, swinging my jacket over my shoulder as I walked towards the door.

"Later Chad," she replied softly as I shut the door behind myself.

**X x**

"Can you believe this shit?" Ferguson asked me at lunch when we had sat down at our usual table. "We went from having steak for lunch, to having _salisbury_ steak," he said, his nose wrinkled as he let the gristly piece of meat fall off of his fork and back onto the foam plate.

"What has the world come to," I said, my eyes not leaving Sonny, who sat across the room with the rest of the Randoms.

Ferguson's eyes followed in the direction where mine stared. "Dude, how long have you been tapping that?"

My eyes widened at the fork I held in my hand dropped and clanged loudly against the table. "'Scuse me?"

"Munroe. How long have you been hitting that?"

"W-What makes you think that?," I said nervously. "I dumped her three years ago."

Ferguson gave me a doubtful look, frowning at me. "Uh, she dumped _you, _and you've been staring at her for the past half hour with your hands under the table."

"Okay, _pervert_," I said, quickly holding my hands up in defense. "I was not staring at her, and that is a disgusting implication."

"But...you did hit that...right?"

I sighed. "Maybe you should mind your own business, lil buddy."

Ferguson laughed as he dumped a puddle of ketchup onto his plate. "You're pathetic, man. Just pathetic."

"What?" I squeaked, becoming paranoid.

"Oh, it's just that you can have any woman in Hollywood, yet you've been pining over Sonny Munroe for the past five years. And now that you are actually fucking her-"

"Hey!" I warned.

"Alrighty. And now that you are actually _doing _her-"

"Not much better."

"-you won't even brag about it," Ferguson finally finished. "Dude, why don't you just propose to her? It couldn't possibly make you any more lame than you already are."

"Pfft. Right."

"What's the problem this time, Chaddy? Are you guys up for the same award again or something?" he snickered. "Man, I bet that girl is _kinky _between the sheets. I've seen her drink. Not so much America's sweetheart deep down, huh?"

"Shut it, or you'll be eating my fist for lunch," I snarled.

I watched across the room as Sonny laughed at one of Grady's jokes, flinging her hair over her shoulder as her smile lit up the entire room. Nico reached over and tapped her on the shoulder before she passed him the salt shaker. I had her in my bed every night, but somehow I found myself jealous of _this_?

I thought about her for the rest of the day. Later, still unable to shake her from my mind, I went to her dressing room. She was sitting at her vanity, gnawing thoughtfully on the end of her pencil as she stared at the notebook in front of her. _Hell_. Even her bad habits were adorable.

I sneaked up behind her, wrapping my arms arm around her waist.

"Oh God, Chad! You scared me half to death!"

Without saying anything, my lips crashed into hers. She pulled back a little in surprise at first, but then wrapped her arms around my neck as our lip-lock heated up.

"Chad," she sighed as I stood her up onto her feet and pulled her closely against me. "Not...here..." Her eyes were closed as she spoke, telling me that she was enjoying herself despite her protests.

My hands worked quickly to unbutton her blouse and unhook the front clasp of her bra, leaving her exposed. My lips peppered kisses against the delicate skin of her breasts as my arousal increased.

"Ch-Chad...Tawni will be back soon," she moaned as my hand wandered under her skirt.

I just wanted her, but unfortunately this seemed like the only way to be with her without _being_ with her.

My hands had just begun to tug at her panties when the door of the dressing room popped open.

"What. The. Hell."

My eyes widened as Sonny struggled to close the front of her shirt.

"You guys are fucking in _my _dressing room!"

Tawni Hart was burning in anger. Her hands were clasped tightly into fists and her face red. Luckily, she was alone and hadn't witnessed much as Sonny's back was facing towards her. It was still pretty obvious what was going on, though.

"Oh...Uh...Hey, Tawni," Sonny said as she quickly buttoned her blouse. "You're back early-"

"Shut it!" Tawni screamed, walking in and slamming the door loudly behind her. "What makes you two losers think you can screw around in _my _dressing room?"

"This room belongs to both of us," Sonny went to say. "I've been here for five years now-"

"Shut the hell up," Tawni said, closing in on Sonny's personal space. "How long has this been going on?"

"Tawni, this is the first time this has happened here," Sonny began. "Honest."

"So, you usually just skank it up somewhere else then, huh?"

My mouth went agape at Tawni's words. True, she never really was all that nice to Sonny, but this was appalling.

"You have no right talking to her like that," I said angrily, placing myself in front of Sonny. "Especially considering _your_ history."

"Get out Cooper," she said, still glaring at us.

"Not until you settle down."

"I walk into you guys getting ready to fuck on my couch, and I'm not supposed to be angry?" she asked me, exasperated. "Seriously?"

Sonny then pushed me aside, stepping forward. "Tawni, this is my life, and I'll live it however I want to," she said, boldly standing up for herself.

"Fine then," Tawni said as she grabbed her purse off of her desk and flipped her hair. "Just don't call me crying when Chad fucks up again." And with that, she was gone.

My eyes went to Sonny's with shock, and her mouth quickly went agape.

"Sonny," I began.

"She just..." Sonny nervously tried to explain herself as her eyes glistened with tears. "The whole Tween Choice thing...and now this. You know," she stumbled awkwardly over her words. "I have to go," she said, inhaling a deep breath.

"Sonny, wait," I began, but the door had already closed behind her.

**X x**

I was sitting at home with a six pack of imported beer on my lap that evening, replaying Tawni's words over and over in my head.

"_Just don't call me crying when Chad fucks up again."_

Sonny had looked so scared and embarrassed at Tawni's words. She had mentioned something about the Tween Choice award, and I wondered if she was referring to our break up. I remembered the heartbreak of watching Sonny cry as she broke up with me, but something deep down told me Tawni was referring to something more recent.

Was Sonny's nonchalant attitude towards our "meaningless sex" just a bunch of crap? She had certainly done a good job of selling it. It was possible that this was all getting to her. Sonny was so perfect and sweet—she just wasn't the type of girl to sleep around without a second thought.

Soon, the sound of the doorbell ringing brought me out of my deep thoughts. It was past midnight, which meant it could only be one person. I walked quickly to the door to find, sure enough, Sonny standing on the other side.

"Are you okay?" I asked her. She sure didn't look okay. Her makeup was slightly smudged and her eyes a bit puffy, hinting that she had just been crying.

"Yeah...I just..." she sighed. "The people in the room next to me are watching _Mamma Mia _at top volume and I can't stand it!"

Sure. I'd probably be crying, too.

I stood back to let her inside. We stared uncomfortably at each other for some time.

"So, did Tawni-"

Sonny sighed. "I don't wanna talk about Tawni right now," she said, her shoulders slumping. "Matter of fact, I'd prefer to never talk about her again."

"What a bitch, huh-"

"_Chad_."

"Okay. I'll shut up," I said. "So, what do you wanna do?"

She shrugged.

Forty-five minutes later we were lying naked in my bed, our bodies glistening with sweat as we struggled to catch our breath.

"Much more fun than listening to Abba tunes through the wall of your hotel room, huh?" I asked her with a cocky grin and she groaned.

We had been lying there for awhile and I had begun to nod off until I felt Sonny leave my side. I looked up to see her searching for her discarded clothing. "What are you doing?"

"I should go now."

I glanced at the clock. It was almost two in the morning, and she had quite a drive back to her hotel room. I quickly sat up.

"Listen, you don't have to leave."

"I think it's best," she said, quickly tugging her shirt back on. "I have to get up early and-"

"Sonny, will you just stop?" I asked, leaping from the bed and grasping her arm. "It's too late for you to be driving across town, and I worry myself sick every time you have to sleep in that place by yourself, so just stay damn it." Sonny stared at me in disbelief and I even surprised myself at just how demanding my voice had sounded.

"I mean, pretty please?" I asked her sweetly.

She rolled her eyes at me again as I tugged her back into my bed.

"Your eyes are going to get stuck if you keep doing that," I whispered.

**X x**

**A/N: **Ugh, don't you hate it when your dog turns off your computer while you're writing?

This was my attempt at doing something lighter since the storyline has been seriously intense lately. I like drama, but don't want too much of it for this story. I wasn't originally going to do a Chad POV for this one, but someone asked for it so I did it. I really like how it turned out. And Tawni's bitchiness will eventually make more sense. I realize it seemed to have come out of nowhere. Lemme know what you think of this chapter. I have 100+ reviews on this now! It's something I've only accomplished with two other fics.


	14. Chapter 14

**SOMETIMES ALWAYS**

**::Chapter 14::**

I sighed lustfully as I lie in Chad's bed, his lips moving over my neck as he lie atop me.

It was nine o'clock on Sunday morning, and despite the fact that I had stayed up late working on last minute changes to a sketch for the season finale this week and was currently warding off a headache that seamed to be creeping up fast on me, I was in heaven right now.

Chad Dylan Cooper was a very romantic lover—he made me feel so special and _loved _when we had sex. It was getting very hard for me to differentiate the difference between the two lately. I'm not so naive to think that just because I'm having sex with Chad on a regular basis now that he will actually fall in love with me, but sometimes when we were together like this, it almost seemed like he _did _love me.

It wasn't long before he had pushed himself inside of me as the sounds of moans and heavy breathing echoed throughout his room. This is what mornings with Chad _always _consisted of. He was always ready, and for some reason I could never tell him no.

My head sunk back against the pillow behind me as Chad quickened his pace, causing me to scream as I climaxed. Chad soon crashed down to the bed in fatigue, and I could feel his warm breath across my collar bone as he lie his head on my shoulder.

"Does this ever get old?" I asked him, causing him to crack a grin.

"Never," he insisted. "Not with you anyways," he added, getting up to fetch his boxers from the floor. He stepped over to the window, opening the curtain and letting the late-morning sun pour in to light the room.

I groaned as I shut my eyes and pulled the blanket up and over my head.

"I thought you were a morning person?" Chad ask me in a surprised voice.

"I am," I said. "But that sun is doing nothing for this horrible headache that I have coming on," I moaned painfully. Suddenly, the room went dim again and I heard Chad step into his bathroom before sitting down next to me on the bed.

"Here," he said to me, as I pulled the cover back down and he dropped two white pills into my hand. I accepted a glass of water from him and downed it quickly.

"I don't know what it is with these headaches lately," I told him, sorely rubbing my forehead with my fingers. "I've been having them a lot."

Chad, still shirtless and wearing his shorts, sat back against the headboard of his bed as he motioned for me to come to him. I settled myself into his lap before he gently tugged me back against his chest. "I'm sure it might have something to do with staring at a computer monitor for hours on end," he said as his hands came up to massage my temples, easing away the painful tension there. "Does that help?"

I sighed in answer, smiling at his thoughtful gesture. "I know, but I really need this last show to be perfect," I said, cuddling into his warm chest as his fingers worked their magic. Before long, the headache had all but went away. I was about to go to sleep, and I _wanted _to go to sleep, but I knew I had a long schedule awaiting me today. I suppose a few extra moments with Chad wouldn't _kill _me though...

That's when Chad finally slid off the bed, helping me lie back down onto it before pulling the covers back over me. He looked awkwardly towards the clock. "I was supposed to play a round of golf with Skyler this morning..."

"Oh," I said in surprise, wondering why he hadn't mentioned anything the night before. "Well, if you need to go..."

He nodded. "You'll be alright?"

"It's just a headache," I said dryly, irritated that he was leaving.

"Meet up tonight?" he asked me in a hopeful voice. His bright blue eyes sparkled in request.

I sighed inwardly, and then nodded my head in agreement.

I watched sadly from the bed as he got ready and left. And that was what every morning was like between us—passionate love-making followed by Chad's sudden need to leave.

**X x**

The next morning I was exhausted, mostly because Chad and I had spent the night together again.

Today would be rehearsals for the season finale, and in three days we would be taping it. I was going through the script when Tawni entered our dressing room, snatching up her script and a tube of her favorite lipstick, and then leaving without saying a word.

Obviously, she was still angry with me. We had barely spoken to one another over the past few days. Her explosive words towards me when she had caught Chad and I together hurt a lot, and I wasn't about to go out of my way to make things right with her.

I sighed as she walked briskly out of the door, passing Aaron on her way out.

"Delivery for Sonny Munroe," Aaron said with a grin, holding up a large package with my name on it.

"Wow," I said as I looked at the over-sized package. "Thanks Aaron."

The package was opened in a matter of seconds, and I found myself staring at the familiar, faded and floral patterned box in my hand. With a sad smile, I removed the top to find my father's collection of family photos. I instantly teared up a bit when I pulled out the one of my father and I on his motorcycle.

"What's up?" I heard Chad ask from behind me. He peaked over my shoulder to see what was occupying my attention. "Is that you?"

I nodded.

"You were adorable."

I smiled. "The hospital sent these," I told him. "I think it was the only thing he owned, other than a few old pieces of clothing," I said with a sigh, wondering what life would've been like for my dad had he just been able to clean his act up all those years back.

I felt Chad's hand suddenly clasp my shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"I think so," I said softly. "I just wish...I wish that there was something special I could do for him. I feel like he won't even be remembered. I mean, there were only three people who even bothered to show up at his funeral, and two of them were his nurses." I sighed.

I squeezed my eyes shut before rubbing my head.

Chad frowned. "You don't look so good..."

"I'm fine."

His brows knit together as his eyes softened. "You look really pale, Sonny."

"I'm just tired," I insisted. "Chad, I think I'm just going to head back to my place tonight. I'm bound to be exhausted after rehearsals, anyway."

"Well, I'll just come by the hotel then," he said with a shrug.

I rolled my eyes. "Chad, can I just have one night to myself?" I asked him, becoming irritated. "Do our entire lives have to revolve around nonstop sex?"

He flinched slightly at my tone. "Well," he began, "It's just that I don't want you-"

"Yeah, yeah yeah," I said, my voice getting loud. "Staying at the hotel by myself. Chad, I'm an adult; I don't need you to babysit me." It had been an endless excuse for Chad stopping by uninvited almost every night that I hadn't made plans with him. I knew the real reason why he was there, and the fact that we slept together every night we shared a bed made it a bit obvious.

"Okay then," he said as he scratched the back of his neck, appearing slightly hurt by my words.

I frowned as he left. But, I wouldn't obsess over Chad right now—I had a huge day ahead of me.

**X x**

"Okay, and rehearsal for the very final _Check It Out Girls _sketch in five," Marshall announced as the crew began to change the stage around.

Tawni rudely pushed passed me on her way to the stage, causing me to stumble forward.

"Okay, just what is your problem, Tawni?" I finally asked her.

"Ugh, my problem is this awful sketch you've written," she said, loudly smacking her gum and holding up the script. "Running out of original ideas, are we?"

I scowled, placing my hands on my hips. "Well, at least I _have _ideas!"

"Well, at least I can act!"

"You know what? You've been a major bitch to me ever since-"

"Ever since I found out that you're fucking the same guy who just broke your heart? Tell me Sonny, what does it feel like to be completely used? Because you know that sex is the only reason Chad is even showing any interest in you," she snapped, spinning on her heel to walking towards hair and makeup.

I froze. Tawni had just said the very thing I had been thinking all day long—all _week _long. I had been trying to ignore that fact, but it was so blatantly obvious that the reality of it all was starting to make me feel quite queasy. But this was an important rehearsal for an important sketch, and I struggled to stay professional as I pushed those thoughts of Chad from my mind.

Tawni managed to turn her scowl upside down as we performed our sketch together.

Grady approached the counter, dressed in a Hawaiian shirt and carrying a red shopping basket.

"Check it out, he's got something in his nose."

"Check his hair."

"Check out his fanny pack."

There was a pause when I was suddenly hit with a wave of nausea. I held my stomach, swallowing hard in an effort to ward it off. I could feel the blood draining from my face as I willed myself not to get sick.

"Sonny?" Marshall asked from his director's chair. "It's your line."

Tawni rolled her eyes at me. "She can't even remember the lines she wrote herself-" she began when I keeled over, bracing myself and throwing up violently behind the prop counter.

"UGH! _Disgusting_!" Tawni screeched, bolting off of the stage.

I stood up once my stomach was empty, feeling dizzy and extremely embarrassed. "Oh God," I mumbled, reaching out, but only grasping air. Grady quickly swooped in and braced my arm. I wobbled unsteadily on my feet as I tried to regain my bearings.

"Sonny, are you okay?" Grady asked me, concern evident in his voice. "That was pretty_...intense_." If he was referring to the velocity in which the vomit exited my mouth, he'd be correct.

"I don't know what happened," I admitted. "I haven't been feeling so great today but..." I felt just awful—like I wanted to pass out right then and there.

Marshall approached me quickly, handing me a tissue to wipe my mouth with. "Go take a break, Kiddo," he said nervously. "Drink some water and take it easy for a few."

"I'm so sorry, Marshall," I said as I looked away, feeling completely ashamed of myself. "I've been feeling a bit off for the past few days."

He sighed as he nervously wrung his hands together. "Just feel better, okay? Let's hope you're not coming down with something. We need you for this show."

I retreated to the commissary, sitting down at the table and burying my face into my hands. Between my mom and dad leaving, Chad focusing on nothing but sex, and now Tawni's pure hatred for me, I couldn't take it. It seemed like my life was spiraling out of control and the most important people in it either weren't there to care or just _didn't _care.

I took small sips of my bottled water as I tried to calm myself. I returned to rehearsal with a fake smile plastered on my face and a debilitating migraine that tortured me for the rest of the day.

**X x**

I went home that evening and fell into the bed of my hotel room completely dressed. I stared up at the ceiling for awhile as the intense exhaustion I was feeling begun to overtake me. Right when my eyelids had just started to droop shut, a loud knock at the door rudely awoke me.

"Who is it?" I groaned, unable to go to the door.

"Chad."

I frowned. He had showed up uninvited to my place. Again.

"Just come in," I called, the back of my hand on my forehead.

Chad let himself in, a scowl etched in his features. "I thought I warned you about remembering to lock that door."

"Save it, Chad," I groaned. "I'm not in the mood for a lecture tonight."

He plopped down beside me, causing me to jerk violently as the intense pressure in my head began to worsen. "What do you want?" I asked, my voice raspy.

Chad watched me worriedly as he leaned over, removing my hands from my face and placing the palm of his hand on my forehead. I almost refused the gesture, until I realized the pressure made my headache lessen significantly.

"I heard you got sick at rehearsals today," he said, leaning over to look into my eyes. "Sonny, I think maybe you should see a doctor. You haven't been well for awhile now."

I closed my eyes, choosing to ignore his request. "I'm fine."

"Then why did you throw up today? And the headaches?"

"It's just something I ate."

Chad still held his hand against my forehead as he grimaced. "You feel warm-"

"Chad, will you stop?" I asked him as I sat up, pushing his hands away from me. "I am not sick, okay? It's normal to have a headache after the day I've had."

I scrunched up his nose, looking at me doubtfully.

"Listen, if I let you take my temperature, will you leave me alone?" I pleaded.

"Yes."

Five minutes later we were standing over a thermometer in the bathroom. "It's 98.9; I'm fine."

He sighed as he took the thermometer from my hand before studying it himself and then placed it back down on the counter. "I'm still staying."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Chad-"

"I'm staying okay?" he demanded. "Grady told me you were so sick at rehearsals today that he had to hold you up."

My shoulders slumped in defeat as he pulled me against him. "Come on," he whispered. "Don't tell me you don't need a nice firm body to keep you warm tonight," he teased. "Or better yet, a little of Chaddy's TLC."

Despite my mental protests, my lips still curved into a smile at his words.

"Now how about a nice full-body massage?" he asked me, pulling me towards the bed. "Work those tense muscles. Just the thing after a hard day at the studio."

"That does sound nice..."

Chad grabbed the bottom of his shirt and pulled it up and over his head before crashing down onto the mattress below, lying on his stomach and resting his chin on his hands. "Alright. Get to it."

I giggled, smacking him hard on the back. "You're such a jerk."

He turned over to grasp my hands and pulled me atop him. "You can't possibly think that Chad Dylan Cooper would _give _a massage, do you?" he joked as he moved to pin me down onto the bed below him, attacking my lips with his own. "But perhaps we could just skip to the happy ending?"

I rolled my eyes as he took the hem of my shirt into his hands. Smiling, I raised my arms above my head so that he could easily remove it. "So much for nursing me back to health, huh?" I asked him as he pulled me closely against him and reached around to unclasp my bra.

"I've got just what the doctor ordered," he insisted, guiding my skirt down my legs. His fingers softly teased my entrance as I moaned.

"Let me make you feel good," he whispered. He placed a kiss on my lips before he left a trail of kisses down my stomach, parting my legs before his head ducked between my thighs.

"Chad!" I exclaimed, slightly caught off-guard by his actions and I gripped the sheets below me into my fists. Persistent moans escaped my lips as my fingers entwined his his hair. "Ch-Chad...Keep going." My entire body shook, and I was unable to contain my vocal whimpers and shouts of pleasure.

Wanting to feel him inside of me, I quickly reached for a condom from the beside table, opening it and unrolling it down his length. Within seconds, Chad was quickly thrusting into me, both of us panting heavily.

I was enjoying myself thoroughly as I called his name out, but kicking myself at the same time for giving into his advances _again. _I started to wonder what had happened to my self-control and my self-respect by letting myself be used like this.

Chad groaned as he shuddered against me, my lips sucking at his neck and my fingernails digging needfully into his back as he thrust into me one last time before collapsing. He rolled to his side, relaxing against me with his eyes closed as he smiled, his hand smoothing down my back. "Feeling better?" he joked huskily into my ear before he placed a kiss on my cheek.

I sighed as I rolled over onto my side. Chad Dylan Cooper was addictive—he was like a drug I just couldn't quit. And every time I gave into him, I hated myself a little more.

**X x**

**A/N: **Got a 12 page paper to write, so I guess you know what that means. Probably won't be updating until after Thanksgiving. Then class will be over and I'll be back to update like crazy (I've probably only got 5 or 6 more chapters for this). The next chapter should be pretty eventful. See you all in December!


	15. Chapter 15

**SOMETIMES ALWAYS**

**:Chapter 15::**

I trotted into my dressing room that morning to found that Tawni was already freshening up her makeup in front of her vanity. It was 8:30—I'm surprised she'd actually waited this long. She didn't bother to look up when I walked in, and I sighed as I threw my bag onto the couch behind her.

I didn't like how tense things had been around here the past couple of days. Tomorrow night we were finally going to tape the series finale for _So Random_, and I just didn't want to end it like this. We used to be a family here, even though Tawni was more like the disapproving mother-in-law of the bunch.

I walked up to Tawni, grabbing her chair and spinning it around so that she faced me. "Tawni, we have to talk."

"I'm busy," she simply replied, spinning her chair so that she faced her mirror once again.

"No," I said, forcefully jerking her chair around again. "You're not. Listen, in less than 36 hours we are going out in front of an audience to perform together for the very last time. I realize I hurt you when...Okay, I have no idea how I hurt you, but that's why we need to talk."

She rolled her eyes.

"Can you just tell me what I did?" I pleaded. "I know we haven't always been on the best of terms, but maybe you can just make me understand why it is that you hate me so much? Why did you get so angry about Chad?"

Tawni took a deep breath, placing the makeup brush she held in her hand on the table beside her. "Maybe you can start off by telling me why you're such a sucker for heartbreak?"

I frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"Uh, a few weeks ago you called me in tears because Pooper stole your virtue and left you right after it was over with-"

"Well, it wasn't _right_ after."

"-and then out of nowhere, I walk in and find you guys about to have sex in our _dressing room_? Does anything about this seem normal or healthy to you?"

My mouth dropped open. I was completely speechless—she had me.

"I don't know why you're putting yourself through this, Sonny," she said, shaking her head. "Giving yourself to him every time he wants you to is not going to make him love you. Face it, you're not _that _girl. Sonny Munroe does not sleep with guys she's not even dating while she's at work. It's sort of appalling, even for someone like me."

I sighed. "I know," I said as I slumped down onto the couch behind me.

Tawni offered me a guilty smile. "I realize I didn't exactly steer you in the right direction through all of this. I'm your mentor, your idol," she said as I tried to keep from rolling my eyes. "The thing is that you really looked up to me, and I'm the reason you're in this situation right now. Well, I'm sorry for my lack of guidance through all of this. I, uh, wasn't a very good friend."

"It's okay," I said, but then I frowned. "Wait—so you're telling me that this whole thing was you trying to _care_?"

"I didn't say I was good at it," she offered.

"This is insane," I finally said, throwing my hands up. "Tawni, we've been co-workers and roommates for five years now. Let's not end it like this, okay?"

She sat in thought for a second, and then nodded her head.

"Besides," I said with a groan, "You're right about Chad. He wants one thing and one thing only," I added, rolling my eyes.

"So, what are you going to do?" Tawni asked me.

I shrugged. "I don't know. I know that I can't keep going on like this, though. At first it was just a way to be close to him, but things have gotten so out of hand now. I just feel so...dirty. I don't like living my life this way. I really love Chad, but I don't think I can do this anymore."

"Then you need to tell him," Tawni said. "He thinks that you're okay with all of this. You need to put an end to your...whatever you're calling this relationship."

"I don't think it's that easy, Tawni," I said. "Chad has this effect over me; I can't seem to think sensibly whenever I'm around him."

"Sonny, do you see this ever going anywhere?"

I shook my head.

"Do you think he might love you back?"

"No," I admitted as I looked away. "I see what you're getting at," I said. "I'm going to have go talk to him. I'm going to go to The Falls and end this right now."

"Good for you!"

"And I'm not going to give into his charm. Not matter what!"

**X x**

I gasped as Chad pushed me against the wall of his dressing room closet, breathing hard into my ear. My lips kissed his neck and shoulder as his hips bucked into mine, causing my bottom to slam repeatedly into the cedar-lined wall behind me with each thrust.

"Oh fuck Monroe," he groaned, his hands supporting my bottom as my legs wrapped around his waist. When he finally came, he leaned up against me, trying to catch his breath before slowly lowering me back to the floor.

"Oh shit," he said, bracing himself against the wall as we both tried to regain our composure. "That was like nothing I've ever experienced in my life." He took a deep breath. " Are you okay?" he asked, placing the palm of his hand on my sore lower back.

I didn't say anything. I felt so disgusting and dirty.

Chad leaned down and began to gather his wrinkled private school uniform into his arms before starting to redress himself. "That's just what I needed right now. I've been so stressed this week, and that hit the spot."

I had gathered my things up off the floor and was staring at him in complete shock. _Hit the spot? _Had he really just said that?

He was working to knot his tie in the mirror when he turned around to stare at me strangely. I was standing there, completely naked, holding my clothing in my arms with my mouth agape.

"What?" he asked, his brows drawing together.

"Y-You're leaving?"

He paused awkwardly. "We're shooting the finale today. You know that."

"B-But, after what we just did. Now you're just going to leave?"

His eyes reflected a look of complete shock and confusion. "Sonny, we both know what this is..." he started. "It isn't a big deal."

I shook my head. "No. It is a big deal, okay?" I said, my eyes tearing up. "Having sex in your dressing room, on the clock, is a _huge _deal. You act like we just shared a soda or something."

Chad swallowed hard. "What did I do?" he asked, his voice high.

"You did what you always do, Chad. We just had sex, and now you're just going to leave like it was absolutely nothing," I said with a sob. "This means _nothing _to you, and it never has! And I can't take it...I'm in _love_ with you, and you don't even give a _crap_ about me!"

He stared back at me, his expression a mixture of fear and anger. "You really think that I don't give a fuck about you?"

I looked up at him wide-eyed, my stomach twisting.

"I've been trying like _hell _to get you out of my mind for the past three years. The only reason I even agreed to this is because, for some stupid reason, I thought this friends with benefits crap would get you out of my system," he said, his voice cracking. "But it didn't work. I've tried everything in my power to not be in love with you, Sonny, but if anything it's just made everything so much worse."

My bottom lip trembled as he spoke. "I don't understand," I said. "You...have feelings for me? Then why can't we just be together? Why are we doing this to ourselves?"

He just looked at me.

"Two people in love with each other shouldn't be such a horrible thing," I said, crying. "Can you just tell me what the problem here is!"

"I-I can't be with you, Sonny," he said.

I rubbed the tears from my cheeks with my wrists. "Well, why the hell not?" I asked him, my voice shaking. "What is so wrong with me that you won't allow yourself to be with me?"

"You don't get it," Chad said in a deep voice. His face was pale and he looked as if he were on the verge of tears. "You don't fucking get what it's like to pour your heart out to someone and have them stomp all over it. You don't know what it's like to be so fucking distraught over a breakup that the head of the studio has to intervene because he thinks you might do something to yourself."

I tried to contain the feeling of bile rising in my throat as I stood in shock. "Chad...that was a long time ago."

"_Nothing_ changes, Sonny," he said, his eyes fixed on mine. "You may think you're in love with me right now, but there's no telling what will happen. I can't...I can't do it. This relationship comes with no guarantees, and my heart can't handle any more abuse."

"You're being ridiculous, Chad."

"Am I?" he asked.

I was crying hard now and working to quickly dress myself, my hands shaking as I pulled my jeans back on. "So you're telling me that you can't be with me because you're _scared_? That's even worse than if you were just using me for sex!" I shouted as I quickly pulled my shirt back over my head. "If you're going to deny yourself a shot at something because you're so worried it won't pan out perfectly, you'll never get anywhere." My eyes widened at a realization._ "_Oh my God! That's why you're still on _Mackenzie _fucking _Falls _even though it's been called the worst show on television, isn't it?"

"Do _not_ bring the Falls into this," Chad warned.

I stumbled backwards and away from him. "I can not believe this, Chad. You are the same selfish boy I broke up with three years ago. You're right about one thing—absolutely _nothing_ has changed."

Chad's mouth closed tightly, and he trembled as he stared at me. I could tell he was upset and probably about to cry, but I didn't want to see that. Watching a grown man cry because of me would undoubtedly soften me up, and I wanted to stay pissed at him forever. He deserved it.

"I can't believe I actually fell in love with you," I spat.

I was starting to feel very ill right then, my head throbbing and my vision blurring. Without a second thought, I bolted from the room. I found the nearest restroom and fell to my knees, crying as I threw up into the toilet. The entire side of my face felt as if tiny pins were stabbing my skin and the poor halogen lights above me tormented my eyes.

Tawni found me 20 minutes later. "Marshall is freaking out; he heard you crying from his office."

I was still sitting on the bathroom floor, wallowing in my own misery when I felt her hand on my back.

"Sonny, what happened?" she soothed into my ear.

"He just..." I tired between sobs. "I gave him _everything_, and he doesn't even want to be with me."

Tawni hugged me, and I cried hard into her hair as I started to hyperventilate.

Marshall, being worried for my health, sent me home early that day. Not that I could function correctly anyways.

The first night alone at my hotel room in days would be a horrible one. I was restless most of the night, and found myself unable to sleep through my debilitating migraine. I tried medicine and cold compresses, but nothing seemed to soothe the pain. But I'm pretty sure nothing could top the the pain I felt in my heart that night.

The next morning, as I stared at the calender on my phone, something horrible occurred to me.

I went to work early, hoping Tawni would already be there. She wasn't, so I spent the better part of 45 minutes pacing back and forth across the floor of our dressing room, trying to convince myself not to worry just yet.

"How's it going?" Tawni asked me when she had finally shown up to work, though I think we both knew good and well that things were not great.

"Tawni, I really need to talk to you about something," I said exasperated. "Have you ever been late before?"

She scrunched her nose up me. "I'm late on our very last day of work and you're going to bitch at me about-Oh shit, that's not what were talking about is it?"

I shook my head.

"Exactly how late are you?" she asked me in a worried voice.

"Five days."

Her eyes widening, she took a deep breath. "Sonny, you were careful, right?"

I looked away nervously. "Well, pretty much..."

"Pretty much?" she asked, doubtfully. "Either you were or you weren't. It only takes one time to get preggers."

"We had a slip-up a couple weeks back," I finally admitted. "Chad didn't have a condom, and it just sorta happened before I even knew what was going on."

"You are so stupid." I know she didn't mean to insult me—she was just stating an obvious fact.

"I know. I was kind of scared, but Chad didn't seem too concerned about it. He said he had gotten tested for STD's and stuff after his last girlfriend. But this morning, I realized that I completely missed my period last week." I placed my face into my hands. "Oh God, Tawni. What am I going to do? He's not even speaking to me."

"Have you taken a test yet?"

"No," I groaned as I collapsed into the chair behind me. "I went to the drugstore this morning, but I thought I saw the dad from _Even Stevens_ there and I got too paranoid to buy one. I mean, it is possible to be this late without being pregnant, right?"

"Sure," Tawni agreed, but she looked quite doubtful. "But, that would explain why you've been so sick lately. Have you been throwing up a lot?"

My eyes began to tear. "At rehearsals and yesterday..." I sobbed.

"Well..." Tawni said, "Are you going to tell Chad?"

"Oh, _hell_ no. Not after what happened yesterday. There is no way I can tell him about this. Ever," I said with a slight sniffle. I didn't want to have a breakdown again, but I was really scared right now. I was alone, probably pregnant, and the guy who knocked me up was a complete douche bag.

Tawni sighed. "Well, you might have to. I think he deserves to know if he's going to be a father."

"Tawni, were doing our very last show tonight, and I just can't deal with any of this right now," I whined. "I just need you to lie to me and tell me everything will be alright," I pleaded.

"Everything will be alright."

I gave her a weak smile. "Really?"

"No," she told me honestly, walking towards the door and opening it. "If Chad can't handle a simple commitment to you, I'd hate to see the look on his face when he finds out that your pregnant with his child."

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. "Okay. Let's save this conversation for later. We have to get ready for the show tonight. But Tawni, just _swear _to me you won't say anything to him," I begged. I couldn't deal with this right now; I was still sore from my argument with Chad the day before.

"Okay."

I followed Tawni out into the hallway, and stopped dead in my tracks at what I saw. Chad was leaning against the wall, directly next to the door. His expression was pale and he had a look of complete panic in his eyes.

I stared back at him nervously.

"I think that maybe we need to talk," he squeaked.

**X x**

**A/N: **So I told you I wouldn't be updating until December. I lied. I had this chapter written in my head so vividly that I needed to get it out.

A lot of people commented that Chad didn't use a condom in Chapter 12, and it was my intention to write it kind of vague so that in this chapter you would all be like "Ohhh." It didn't work out so well because you are all very observant. I am a big advocate for safe sex, but I knew this was a twist I wanted to put in the story. Anyways, I won't say any more than that. You will have to read and find out! (But wouldn't a Channy baby be adorable? Awww.)

Next chappie will probably be a Chad POV.


	16. Chapter 16

**SOMETIMES ALWAYS**

**::Chapter 16::**

**[Chad POV]**

"If Chad can't handle a simple commitment to you, I'd hate to see the look on his face when he finds out that your pregnant with his child."

I was standing on the opposite side of Sonny's slightly ajar dressing room door when I had heard Tawni's words. I was hearing things—I had to be. Surely, that's not _really _what she had said, was it?

"Okay. Let's save this conversation for later," Sonny told her in a worried voice. "We have to get ready for the show tonight. But Tawni, just _swear _to me you won't say anything to him," I heard her plead.

And that pretty much confirmed that I wasn't hearing things—Sonny was pregnant, and she had no plans on even letting me know about it.

I had come to stop by Sonny's dressing room that morning to make sure she was okay after our heated argument yesterday—I did still love her after all, and things had gotten extremely tense between us. I _had_ been pretty ruthless with her. I remembered quit vividly her bolting from my dressing room in tears, and I hadn't seen her car in the lot that night as I left. I was worried about her; I had been worried about her for awhile now. Her dad had just died, she had been overly stressed with work, and my anger towards at her was the last thing she needed right now. Besides, I wasn't so much angry with her as I was with myself.

When Sonny exited the room and her scared and angry eyes met mine, I suddenly felt a bit dizzy from the shock of hearing the news. This girl that I was in love with, the girl that I couldn't even make a fucking commitment to, was pregnant with my child.

She stared at me in horror for a second, her eyes red and her lashes wet with tears.

"I think that maybe we need to talk," I finally managed.

Sonny mouth went agape when she realized I had heard everything, and looked to Tawni for help.

"Well," said Tawni, stepping in. "Looks like you're going to have to wait. We're on our way to rehearsals so-"

"Well," I said, lightly grabbing Sonny's elbow. "Looks like you'll have to tell Marshall that Sonny will be a bit late," I snapped back as I led her back into the privacy of her dressing room.

As much as I wanted to try to keep my cool this time, I couldn't.

"What, you weren't even going to tell me!" I demanded once the door had shut behind us. "You don't think it's important for me to know I'm going to father a child?"

I was becoming upset, causing her to flinch at my sudden outburst. Hell, I hadn't meant to scare her.

I took a deep breath, running my fingers through my hair. "Look, I'm sorry," I said softly. "It's just...why didn't you think you could tell me about this? You're pregnant," I said again, trying to let that fact sink in.

"I'm not pregnant," she said, causing me to look up at her with a glimmer of home. "I'm _probably _pregnant."

"I'm not seeing much of a difference here," I said, my voice high. "You feel like telling me what's going on?" I softly asked her. I shouldn't have been that much of a shock, really. We had been having sex on a regular basis, but somehow it all still seemed so unreal.

"I missed my period last week," she admitted softly, blushing. "And, there's other things..."

"The puking? The headaches?" I finished for her, coming to a realization. Dumbass! Of course she was pregnant, all the tell-tale signs had been right in front of me.

She nodded

"Oh shit," I said, suddenly remembering the morning of our passionate protection-free sexual encounter at her apartment, and rubbing the palm of my hand over my face. "This is all my fault."

"Pretty much," she agreed.

"My stupid hormones!" I scolded myself. "From now on I am packing _two _condoms in my wallet."

Sonny buried her face in her hands, groaning. "I can't deal with this right now, Chad. In a few hours, I am taping my last show ever. I can't get into character with this sort of thing on my mind."

Suddenly, the phone in my pocket buzzed, alerting me of a text message from Chastity:

**Limo's leaving. Where R U?**

"Shit," I said with a sigh. "I'm supposed be leaving for the promotional tour." This stupid tour Mr. Condor had scheduled us to go on had come at the worst possible time. How was I supposed to hop a plane to New York for two whole weeks with this on my mind?

I looked up at Sonny, hating how scared she looked right now, and realizing that I had put her in this situation.

"I should go anyway. Marshall hates it when we're late," Sonny said, making for the door.

I put my hand on her shoulder before she could leave, but she spun around and pulled away from me.

"Not talking about this is not going to make it go away," I warned her.

She sighed. "Talking about it won't either," she told me, shifting awkwardly. "Chad, I won't have an abortion." Her voice was soft, almost inaudible. Sonny's eyes were on the floor, and she looked as if she were on the verge of tears again.

I was taken aback by her words—they pierced my heart like tiny daggers. So this was what she thought of me? I was just some guy who was going to use her and not take responsibility for his mistakes. She thought that I would ask her to get an abortion so I wouldn't have to deal with it.

"I didn't ask you to," I said quietly, but Sonny couldn't even look at me.

I just wanted to pull her into a hug and comfort her, but instead my phone buzzed in my pocket again and I cursed.

"I have rehearsal to get to, and it looks like you've got a plane to catch," Sonny finally said, leaving without another word.

"Dammit," I muttered as the door closed behind her.

**X x**

"First Class? Can you believe this?" Chastity asked me with an annoyed groan. "I can't believe those cheap-ass execs wouldn't even spring for a private jet this time. This is not a good sign."

I sat at Chastity's side, resting my chin on my fist and staring out the window.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing," I mumbled in reply. I most definitely did not want to discuss this with Chastity—Channy hater extraordinaire.

"Seriously, Chad? You haven't complained about our 4 star arrangements all day," she said. "Obviously, there's something wrong."

I took a deep breath. "Alright, I am going to ask you for advice, and I need you not to be judgmental this time."

"Since when am I judgmental?" she asked me, causing me to roll my eyes at her. "Okay, just ask already."

"Sonny's pregnant-"

"What!" she almost screamed.

"Keep it down, okay?" I hushed her as the passengers surrounding us stared at us awkwardly.

"You had sex with her once, and you managed to knock her up?" she whispered. "How potent are you?"

"It happened more than once," I whispered. "We've been sleeping together for the past three weeks. We got into it the other day. I told her that I loved her, but I didn't want to be with her. There was screaming and crying involved, and today she told me she'd missed her period. Fuck Chas, what do I do now?"

Chastity sat deep in thought, soaking in the information for a few minutes. "I don't know," she finally offered.

"You _don't know_?" I mocked her. "You've been offering me unwarranted advice for the past several weeks, and now when I need it the most, you _don't know_?" I asked her, throwing my hands up in frustration.

"Well this is different, Chad," she hissed. "There's a kid involved now."

"Yeah," I said, trying to imagine my unborn child growing inside of Sonny.

"Unless..." Chastity bit her lip, her eyes staring at me, hinting at her implication.

"I'm warning you, that if you even say it, I won't be talking to you for the rest of this trip," I informed her. It seemed like the easy way out—but this child was mine and Sonny's. There's no way I would ever even want to make that decision.

"Chad-" she began to protest.

"Buhbuhbuh!" I said, holding my finger up. "Don't even say the A-word. It's not going to happen."

There was an awkward silence between us, as I thought about my unborn child. The baby we had made would be perfect in every way—it was Sonny and my DNA after all. I imagined her growing large with child, and me being there for her every step of the way. There was also the thought of this life-changing experience tearing us apart. She was still a teenager, and she had been dreaming of going to college for so long. I was still playing a 17-year-old boy for Christ's sake! How on Earth would we even make this work? The chances seemed so slim.

"I don't know," Chastity finally said. "You can still be a father without being with her. There's plenty of single mothers in the world, and the kid will probably eventually have a stepdad or something."

"This is _my _baby, and Sonny belongs to me," I quickly snapped, surprising even myself.

Chastity stared at me blankly.

I sighed. "She's probably planning on moving back to Wisconsin with her mother or something. That's what girls do in these situations, right? What's stopping her from moving back right now? She's got nothing left to stay for, now that she's pregnant and won't be able to do Marshall's silly little movie."

"Chad, just try not to think about this stuff right now. You need to forget about Monroe for the next two weeks and focus on saving The Falls, okay?" Chastity demanded, pulling her headphones on and sinking back into her seat.

And for the first time in weeks, I didn't give a fuck about my show anymore.

**X x**

The night in my motel room was a long one. I thought about Sonny every second—how scared she looked when I last saw her, and how mad she was at me for what had happened between us. I just wanted to be there for her, and my conscience was screaming at me to go, but somehow I couldn't get up the nerve.

Right now, when she hated me so much, rejection seemed so enviable.

The next few days Chastity and I were booked solid with interviews and talk shows, but somehow, I couldn't concentrate on any of the press I was supposed to be doing for my show—everything reminded me of Sonny.

"It just had to be Baby Week, didn't it?" I asked with a groan, watching the monitor in the green room of the talk showas the two co-hosts discussed the newest innovations in baby gear.

Chastity didn't say anything, she sat back on the comfortable couch, curling her blonde locks around her finger.

"I hate this," I said with a snarl.

Chastity sighed. "This is a big show for us, Chad. Get yourself together if you wanna keep your job. That baby won't be here for nine months, but this is something you need to deal with _now._"

I glared at my costar from across the room. "Since when did you turn into such a cold-hearted bitch?" I asked bluntly.

Chastity's face fell at my words, and I instantly regretted them. She stood up quickly and walked away from me with slumped shoulders. _Shit. _How many of the women in my life was I going to upset this week?

I sighed, standing up and following her. "Chas? Chas? I'm sorry, okay?"

She looked away from me, hurt evident in her features. "You really think that about me?"

"No-Of course not. It's just that," I groaned at how stupid I was. "I'm so frustrated right now. I have all of these mixed emotions. It's just killing me because I want to be with Sonny, I _should _be with Sonny, and I can't even do it. I'm just..." I sighed. "I'm a selfish bastard. Aren't commitments about making sacrifices? What kind of guy would rather hurt the girl he's in love with than take the risk of getting hurt himself? I am such a fucking loser."

"Chad, you're not a loser," Chastity insisted, reaching out to grasp my wrist. "You're just...I don't know. You were so into Sonny Munroe—it was like she was your entire world—and then things ended so badly. It's no wonder you're so confused."

I grunted.

"Chad," Chastity began. "Just tell me one thing. What hurts the most, having your heart broke or denying yourself the one person you love more than anything?"

I frowned.

"I told you to stay away from her because I thought that's what was best for you. I didn't want you to get hurt again," she began. "But God, looking at you now...you're even more miserable than you were back then! Sonny Munroe is in _love_ with you. There's no denying that."

I didn't say anything.

"Do you love her?"

"You know I do."

"Do you want to _be _with her?"

"Of course..."

"Then stop thinking about the future, and start thinking about what you want right now. Things will never end up the way you want them to, Chad. I mean, come on. We thought we'd end _Mackenzie Falls _ still being on top, and now look at us—now we're a couple of saps out begging for a ninth season that we both know good and well won't happen."

I swallowed hard, my eyes burning. "What if...what if things don't work out between us?" I asked her.

Chastity sighed. "I know you are unbelievably cautious when it comes to _anything_, but maybe this is a risk worth taking."

Chastity's words had made everything so obviously clear.

"You're right," I agreed. "Sonny needs me right now, and I think I might need her even more. God Chas, why couldn't you have said that a long time ago?" 

With a smile, she shrugged. "I guess I didn't realize it until just now. You becoming a baby daddy really puts everything into perspective, huh?"

I glanced at the monitor as the show cut to adorable photos of random babies. "I need to get back to L.A."

"We can probably cancel the rest of our interviews," Chastity said. "God knows if Mr. Condor would ever let us work for him again, but maybe that's for the best."

"No, I need to go _no_w," I said, pulling the cell phone out of the pocket of my blazer and trying to book the next flight.

"But Chad, we're up next!" Chastity exclaimed, pointing towards the monitor and panicking as the show cut back from a commercial.

I held my finger up to silence her, wrapping up my phone call with the airline—the perks of being a VIP. "If I hurry, I can get the next flight out of here," I said, gathering my things.

"Chad, when I said to go for it, I didn't mean _right _now!" she said as the two show's hosts introduced us, the crowd applauding as they awaited our entrance. "These stupid interviews take like five minutes tops!"

"I have to go," I said hurriedly, giving Chastity a quick embrace. "You'll do fine," I insisted as I pulled my jacket on.

And with that, I was gone. I halted a cab, and sped off to the airport, not bothering going back to the motel to pack my bags before I boarded my flight.

**Xx**

**A/N:** So nice coming back to this after writing a 10 page paper (Finished my English 102 class with an A!). I don't know, this chapter came out really different. I didn't want to make Chastity out to be a bitch, because she always seemed like on of the nicer cast mates from _Mackenzie Falls. _Anyways, I think I should have about two chapters left of this story. I already have several ideas for my next Channy fic—something extremely dark and something a lot lighter. I'm not sure which one I wanna write first. I might post a summary of each at the end of my next chapter and you all could tell me which idea you like the most.

Oh, and **review**! Because they make me happy, and I like being happy. :)


	17. Chapter 17

**SOMETIMES ALWAYS**

**::Chapter 17::**

I was tinkering around my motel room that morning, trying to put my things—as well as my life—back into order. I was still kind of bitter and upset about what had happened with Chad, but honestly, not as much as I should have been. I had been trying to convince myself that what Chad and I had (whatever label you want to give it) was completely over. And deep down, I knew it was for the best that had I put an end to our casual relationship. I have finally faced that fact that I, Sonny Munroe, will always be a good girl.

So I spent the better part of the morning organizing my motel room and trying to push any thoughts of a certain not-so-easy-to-forget blonde-haired drama snob away.

While I was meticulously organizing my sock drawer by the colors of the rainbow, a knock at the door interrupted my moment of self-pity. I answered the door to find Tawni, take-out bag of Chinese food in hand, standing on the other side.

"Hungry?" she asked me with a smile.

"God, yes," I answered, stepping back to let her inside.

"I saw Chad on _Leno_ the other night."

I paused for a second at hearing his name, my heart sinking as we sat down on the end of the bed.

"Yeah," I finally muttered, digging into the carton of sodium and MSG-filled mu shu pork with my chopsticks. "He and Chastity have been on about every talk show there is this week. I haven't turned on my TV for three days now."

Tawni gave me a half-smile. "So, how are you feeling?"

"I dunno. The same I guess," I answered her. "I think maybe things will be better once I get this whole movie thing squared away with Marshall."

"Are you sure about quitting the movie?" she asked me. "I mean, this is a pretty big opportunity for you."

"I know," I said with a sigh. "Though I'm not sure how much of an acting career I see in my future. Plus, there's, you know, my health to consider. It's just not feasible."

Tawni opened a carton of fried rice, digging in. "I got your text yesterday. How did the doctor's go?" she asked with a mouthful of food.

"Okay, with an exception for the obvious," I told her. "I just had to make certain the pregnancy tests I took were accurate. All five of them," I added with an eye roll.

"It'll get better," Tawni promised me. "At least Pooper's not here to fuck things up right now."

"Yeah," I said, though I found myself missing him, even if I knew I wouldn't be able to manage the emotional turmoil of being around him again. "So what about you, Tawni?" I asked her, wanting to turn the subject away from Chad. "What is your life going to be like post-_So Random_?"

"I dunno," she answered me. "I'm just thinking about my next big project, which might just be wedding coordinator for celebrity dogs," she said in a less-than-excited tone. "But what I really want is my own reality show. For that to happen, I guess I need people to take interest in me again."

I sat my food down for a second. "Tawni, you are a celebrity among celebrities," I assured her. "An opportunity will open up for you really soon, I can feel it. A year from now, I'll be watching you're overly-dramatic life unfold on _E!_.

"And maybe I can finally have that quickie marriage I've dreamed of since I was a little girl," she said with a sigh.

I laughed. "I'm glad you haven't changed after all these years Tawni."

She shrugged, clenching a pot sticker between her chopsticks and eating it.

Later that day, as I was preparing for my meeting with Marshall, there was a quick knock at the door. I knew that knock well enough, because it was the same knock that had started many passion-filled nights in this very room.

For a second, I almost considered not answering it, but my curiosity got the best of me.

"Hey, Sonny." He stood in the hallway, staring me nervously before his eyes scanned over my waist. His clothes were wrinkled, his hair a bit greasy, and Chad Dylan looked as if he hadn't slept in days. "Umm, can I come in?"

Still in shock that he was even presently standing at my door, I nodded.

Chad closed the door behind him, staring at me while he inhaled a slow, deep breath. Then he threw his arms tightly around me.

"Umm, Chad," I mumbled, my face squished against his shoulder as he buried his face in my hair. "Kinda tight here."

He pushed me at arms length, his eyes wide. "Oh crap, I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?" he asked me, his hand reaching for my stomach. I quickly stepped back before it came in contact.

"Chad, there's something I need to tell you..." I awkwardly began.

"Okay, but there's something I have to say first," he said quickly. He swallowed hard as he looked at me, pausing for a second before reaching into the pocket of his jacket and pulling out a bright orange and plastic child's novelty ring.

"What is _that_?" I asked as he held the ring up for me to see.

"Umm..." he answered with uncertainty. "To be honest, I didn't exactly have this planned out too well," he told me, sinking down on one knee. I immediately made the connection.

"Oh my God. Chad-" I began.

"Can I just finish without you interrupting this once?" he cut me off, staring at me nervously. "Umm, Sonny, I know that you probably don't think I'll make a good father, let alone a good husband. But, the thing is that I love you. No matter what happens between us in the future, I always will. I know it isn't going to be an easy ride, but I want to make this commitment to you. So, well, will you marry me?"

The corners of my mouth began to turn up into a smile. It might've just been the sweetest thing I had ever witnessed in my entire life—Chad Dylan Cooper down on one knee, holding a ring from a children's toy machine, and asking me to be his wife. There was only one answer to his question...

"Chad, I can't."

His mouth began to tremble as he looked up at me, absolutely crushed. "Wh-why?"

"Chad, before you get upset, there's something that I need to say: I'm not pregnant."

He looked awkwardly at the ring in his hand, and then back at me. And I swear I must've been seeing things, because he actually looked disappointed.

"Are you sure?"

I nodded. "I saw the doctor yesterday. I had taken several at-home pregnancy tests already, and all of them were negative. But I was still feeling lousy, so they ran a blood test. Besides, I finally got my period this morning. It was all a false alarm. They also put me on birth control, even though I'm pretty sure I'll never have sex again after this whole fiasco," I groaned.

Chad stood up from the floor before collapsing on my bed in shock. "But, you're still sick. Oh God, Sonny," he said worriedly, "is it something serious?" he asked me, his eyes widening.

I quickly shook my head. "The migraines were brought on by all of the stress I'd been having lately, and the vomiting was brought on by the migraines. The doctor also said that it's not unusual to miss your period during stressful situations. Between my show, my dad, and..._you_, basically, my anxiety was getting the best of me."

He closed his eyes. "You could have _at_ _least_ texted me."

"I know," I said, "But we weren't really on good terms when you left, and I didn't much feel like conversing with you," I admitted, feeling guilty for not letting him know the truth earlier.

Chad sighed. "Sonny, I am so sorry. I'm sorry that I made you think this entire time that I didn't care, I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you really needed me, and I'm sorry for getting mad at you. None of this was your fault, and you didn't deserve any of it. I should've told you how I felt a long time ago; but no, I had to hide my love away."

I gave him a weak smile. "Chad, you can't go around your entire life afraid of allowing yourself to care about someone—only _you _will end up hurting in the long run. If I would've followed your advice and never reconnected with my father, I would've missed out on getting to know an amazing person," I pointed out. "Yeah, there was some hurt involved, but I'm glad that I did let him into my life, you know?"

He nodded, remaining quiet and looking a bit sad, and that's when it hit me.

"Chad, y-you were serious about the proposal!" I said in astonishment. This was the same boy who, only a few days ago, wouldn't even fathom the idea of a relationship with me. "Oh my gosh, what if I would've said yes?"

"Well that was kind of the idea, Sonny," he said, looking at the makeshift engagement ring one last time before tucking it back into his pocket.

"You do realize that more than half of all marriages end in divorce, right? The odds of that risk are working against you." It was supposed to be a joke, but Chad only stared at his lap. He had just offered me the biggest commitment anyone could ever make, and I had turned him down. We were back at square one, and I was just instilling Chad's fear of rejection.

I sat down beside him on my bed. "Chad...I do appreciate the gesture. There were a couple of days there when I thought that I really was pregnant, and I was so scared when I realized that I might have to do it alone. Me turning down your proposal has nothing to do with my feelings for you," I assured him, causing him to look up at me. "I do love you. Even after all the crap we went through this week...I still want to be with you. I know that we both have some issues to work on, and right now marriage is just the furthest thing from my mind, even though I can envision being with you for the rest of my life." My hand clasped his, and he moved his other hand atop mine.

"I love you, too," he said with a smile. "If you would've said yes, I'd be the happiest guy ever. But, I guess I understand why you didn't."

I leaned forward, placing a quick kiss on his cheek. "But, hang onto that ring. When the time is right, I totally wanna show that off to all my girlfriends," I joked and he smiled. "What was that, a little propeller on it?"

He pulled the ring back from his pocket, blowing on it and making the tiny plastic propeller attached to the front spin. "The airport gift shop is a great place to shop for fine jewelery, dontcha think?"

With a smile, I wrapped my arms around Chad's neck, and we kissed softly.

"Now do me a favor?" I asked him.

"Anything."

"Come to Condor Studios with me?"

"Ahh," Chad grimaced. "Anything but that. I just cost Mr. Condor another show by leaving the promotional tour early. He's the last person I want to run into right now."

"You're kidding?" I asked him. "_Mackenzie Falls _didn't get picked up for a ninth season? Are you going to be okay?"

He nodded. "It's for the best. Another big break will come my way—Hey, I am Chad Dylan Cooper!" he said, popping his collar.

"And here I actually thought you'd outgrown that," I said with a giggle, causing Chad to pull me back against his chest before kissing me again.

**X x**

"Come on in, Sonny," Marshall called from his desk. "Just packing away the rest of my office. Boy, I tell you kiddo, this is an exciting time in our lives!" he said with a happy grin, which only made me feel even worse for what I was about to do.

I sat down in the seat across him as he moved a cardboard box from the desk and added it to the many which already sat on the floor. "So tell me what's up, Sonny."

I bit my lip, suddenly having second thoughts about all of this. Marshall had been so good to me throughout my entire career at _So Random, _and I felt guilty for the fact that I was backing out of his movie at the very last minute.

"Marshall, I saw the doctor yesterday and-"

His concerned eyes quickly shot to mine. "Sonny, is everything okay?" he asked me, worriedly.

"Well, yes and no," I began. "Here's the thing: I've had a lot of stress lately. I loved _So Random_, and I don't regret all the work I took on while I was here, but I have to admit it's also been the source of a lot of my anxiety. My doctor seems to think so, too. I guess what I am saying is I don't think I can handle this movie. I just really need to take a breather right now for both my physical and emotional well-being." Marshall tapped his pencil nervously on his desktop as I spoke. "Not only that, but I'm afraid if I put college off for another semester, I may never end up going."

"I see," Marshall said sadly as he sunk down into his leather desk chair.

"I'm really sorry, Marshall."

He nodded, looking disheveled. "It's okay, Kiddo. Your health comes first. I guess I did put a lot of responsibility on you this year," he added with a sigh. "Don't worry about the movie, Sonny. Do what you need to do." He was trying to be supportive, but I could tell that I had really let him down by quitting.

"Thanks..." I began. "But I do have good news!"

"And what's that?" Marshall asked doubtfully.

"I have the perfect replacement. She's a total professional. She's been working in the industry since she was in diapers, she loves the script, and you've actually worked with her before."

He wrung his hands nervously. "We're talking about Tawni, aren't we?"

I nodded. "And she would be perfect, Marshall! She's an amazing actress, and she can tackle just about any role out there."

"Yeah, well..." he began, running his hands through what remained of his hair. "I just don't know, Sonny. Do you really think Tawni is the innocent and earthy type we wanted for this role?"

There was a long pause.

"Did I mention she was an amazing actress?"

A smile plastered on my face, I dialed Tawni's number on the way out of the studio. "Tawni, cancel those dogs weddings. I've got the perfect project for you!"

**X x**

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Ah! Don't hate on me for not giving you a Channy baby. It has been my intention all along to do a pregnancy scare to snap Chad back into reality. I almost gave in and made her pregnant, but then we'd be going into a whole new slew of problems. Honestly, unplanned pregnancies just aren't as romantic as people tend to think they are. Besides, Sonny's pregnancy symptoms would've been a bit off, since morning sickness doesn't start until like six weeks. I actually did a Channy baby one-shot, and didn't wanna revisit that idea again so quickly. I have considered doing a pregnancy fic though, so maybe sometime in the future...

Anyway, next chapter is the last one, and I'll probably get it up in a few day. Hopefully.


	18. Chapter 18

**SOMETIMES ALWAYS**

**::Chapter 18::**

"So tell me how the movie's going, Tawni," I said asked into the phone as I lie on my stomach on Chad's bed that evening, sending him a smile as he looked through his closet for something to wear.

"Great!" she exclaimed excitedly on the other end of the line. "I mean, they're not exactly giving me the star treatment that I deserve here since the budget for this movie is so low, but I'm having a great time. And my leading man is quite the catch. We're really hitting it off!"

I smiled at the fact that Tawni had been able to tone down her diva thing long enough to do an independent film. I knew that Marshall's movie would help her grow as an actress, and Marshall seemed to be quite pleased with Tawni's work on the movie so far. Surprisingly, she and the movie seemed to be a perfect match.

"So how's Chad doing?" Tawni finally asked me in a low voice.

Not wanting him to know that we were talking about him, I rolled over on my back, waiting to answer Tawni's question until he finally exited the room.

It had been weeks since _Mackenzie Falls _had been canceled. As nonchalant as Chad acted about the whole thing in the beginning, I knew it was hard on him. The show had taken up such a large portion of his life after all. Chad Dylan Cooper had basically grown up with the cast and crew—they were his family, and being unemployed for the first time since he was 13 came as a huge blow to him.

"It's getting better; really it is. It was rocky at first, but now we're just enjoying our free time together before I start school and Chad finds his next role."

"_I bet_," Tawni replied knowingly, and I smiled.

"Actually, we've slowed that aspect of our relationship down quite a bit," I said. "And to be honest, it's starting to become a bit aggravating."

"Slowed down, how?" Tawni pried.

"We haven't slept together since the whole dressing room ordeal. Chad says things went way too fast in the beginning, and now he's just trying to take it slow," I said as Tawni snorted. "It's really sweet what he's doing, but it's really hard not being able to be intimate with someone you're in love with."

"Aren't you staying at his place most nights?" she asked in disbelief. "How does he keep his hands off of you?"

"Yeah, I'm staying in the guest room," I said, rolling my eyes. "Chad's all concerned about my safety, so now my motel room is basically being used for storage. Really expensive storage," I added.

Tawni talked a little more about how the movie was going, and I filled her in on what the other Randoms had been up to since she'd left. Tawni and I have finally managed to have a semi-normal friendship. It's nice, considering how close we'd come to never speaking to each other again.

"Well, I gotta go," Tawni finally said. "Marshall's calling me back to the set. Oh, and happy birthday!"

I smiled as I ended my call with Tawni, and Chad popped back into the room wearing his nicest suit and straightening the tie he was now wearing. "Ready for an incredible birthday with the greatest actor of our generation?" he asked me with a sparkle in his eye.

"You'll never outgrow your ego, will you?" I asked, rolling my eyes at him as he pulled me up from the bed and planted a quick kiss on my lips.

**X x**

"Why are we heading towards the studio?" I asked Chad as he turned onto the road that led to the main offices at Condor Studios. "I thought we were going to some snazzy restaurant?"

Chad shot me a smile. "We are, but I have something I'd like to show you first," he told me before parking his car in the lot and getting out to open the door for me.

We walked hand in hand across the front courtyard of Condor Studios, and I wobbled unsteadily in my heels as I walked over the bumpy terrain. After seeing what a struggle it was for me not to trip in the grass, Chad quickly wrapped his arm around my waist to steady me. "Chad, what's going on?" I finally asked. "I didn't think you ever wanted to come back to this place agai-"

But then he came to a sudden stop in front of a small oak tree. Placing his hands in his pockets, he nodded towards the sapling with a smile on his face. "What do ya think?"

"Umm..." I wasn't quite sure what I was supposed to think—it was just a tree after all. "It's really nice Chad," I said uncertainly, not wanting to hurt his feelings for what he thought was some sort of amazing gesture.

He rolled his eyes. "Did you read the plaque below it?" he finally asked.

I leaned over, noticing the small engraved stone that sat close to the tree's base:

**In Memory of Daryl Munroe **

My eyes widened in surprise. "Oh my gosh, Chad!" I exclaimed, finally recognizing the significance the tree held. "You did this for my dad?"

He nodded. "You said you wanted a special way to remember him. I thought since so many people come to this studio, and _So Random! _was the reason you two got in touch again,this would be a nice way to do just that.

I was amazed that Chad had come up with such a thoughtful memorial for someone he'd never met.

"And Mr. Condor allowed it?" I asked, flabbergasted. The two weren't exactly on the best of terms right now with the decline of _Mackenzie Falls _and everything. "He does know about this, doesn't he? You didn't sneak in here and do this, did you?"

"Of course he knows, Sonny," Chad said, rolling his eyes. "I planted a freaking tree right outside his office; how would he miss that? Though, I did have to have Chastity—aka, the new network star—butter him up a bit first."

"Ah, now you're making more sense," I told him.

Chastity had been offered her own show after tackling the rest of the interviews that had been scheduled for her and Chad. It was enough to impress Mr. Condor and the network execs into giving her her own series. Chad was a bit bitter about it at first, but he had finally come around to feeling happy for her once he realized how hard she'd worked to come this far.

As I stood staring at the tree, I could feel tears threatening to fall as I thought about my dad and the wonderful relationship we could have had. I thought about all those wonderful childhood memories he was a part of before he left, and all of the times after that when I wanted him so badly to be there. My body shook as I tried to suppress my grief, and I could feel Chad's hand come up to rest on my back.

"It's okay," he whispered, encouraging me not to hold in whatever I was feeling right then. I went to wipe the warm tears that now spilled freely down my cheeks away. "I never really got to know him that well, but I miss him so much," I said with a sob as Chad wrapped his arm around me, pulling me to his side.

Chad held me for a good while, letting me cry into the shoulder of his nice suit jacket (surely I would be on dry-cleaning duty tomorrow morning). He didn't say anything—just let me get out all the pent up sadness I had been trying so badly to ignore for the past two months. I gripped lapels of his blazer, crying until my tears had begun to run dry. My dad was gone now, but this tree would still stand here, reminding everyone that saw it how much Darryl Munroe meant to the few people in his life that really mattered. Now he would never be forgotten.

"Now I'm going to have to redo my makeup," I said, forcing a smile with a sob. I felt better though. All of the guilt that had come along with my dad's death and the blame I had placed on myself wasn't as strong as it once was. My dad was not a perfect man, but I knew how much he loved me and the fact that there was nothing I could have done to stop the sort of life he had been living for so long.

Chad offered me a weak smile. "How about a walk down the beach?" Chad asked me, knowing I probably wasn't up for a fancy dinner right now.

I nodded as we walked back towards his car.

**X x**

Chad and I walked hand-in-hand down the private and secluded beach where we had almost shared our first kiss together. The moon shone above, offering some light in the darkness of the night. The warm summer breeze blew through our hair as we traveled barefoot across the sand, our hands wrapped around each other as I rested my head on his shoulder.

Chad stopped suddenly, placing his finger beneath my chin, and tilting it up before his lips met mine. I closed my eyes as our soft lips meshed together, and I smiled when we finally parted.

"What was that for?" I asked him.

He shrugged. "Just because I can now. You don't know what it was like to see you everyday for three years and not be able to kiss you." I smiled as I hugged him, resting my face against his chest. But his words reminded me of our fight only weeks prior, and I quickly stepped back, looking up at him unsurely.

He frowned. "Something wrong?"

I bit my lip. "Chad, something has been really bothering me," I admitted. "Was I really so bad to you that I made you want to hurt yourself?"

His face paled at my question, and he sighed as he reached up to scratch the back of his neck—this was obviously not a conversation he intended on ever having. "Sonny, look, what I went through back then wasn't your fault. I was having a lot of issues at the time."

"But I was so cruel to you when you told me that you loved me," I said as I watched hurt take place of the sparkle that his eyes held only moments ago. "I'm the reason you went into therapy—why we didn't even speak for three years."

Chad closed his eyes, his head dropping as he took my hands into his own. "When we were together, you were basically my entire life, Sonny. I...hadn't really been in love with anyone besides myself before," he sheepishly admitted.

"Well neither had I."

"No, what I mean is that I had never loved anyone. _Ever_. You remember my parents, don't you? My relationship with them was always strained. Most of my friends were only associating with me because of my fame. Every girl I dated was just for publicity or messing around with. When you came along, it was different," he explained. "I never thought anyone would be capable of loving me. Face it Sonny; I'm an ass. But when you still wanted to be around me when the cameras were turned, it was the most amazing thing I had ever experienced."

A tear was slipping down my cheek now, and his heartfelt words touched me deeply. "Chad..." I began.

"Oh, don't start crying again," he said, groaning. But he was also smiling as he pulled me against his chest as he rested his chin on the top of my head. "Listen, I don't want you to feel bad for me. I'm just so happy that you're in my life again, and that's all that matters."

With a tearful smile, my arms encircled Chad's neck and I kissed him fervently, my hands trailing down his chest as the palms of his hands rested on the small of my back. Our bodies pressed together as my lips lingered on his own. It wasn't long before my lips trailed tiny kisses across his jaw and neck while Chad inhaled deeply, his hands rubbing up my back needfully. I could tell that all the time we had spent apart had been much too long for both of us.

Things were heating up quickly as Chad let out a soft groan. But then he quickly pulled away.

"Sonny, I think that maybe we should put a stop to this—it's not such a good idea."

"Why?" I asked him, a bit hurt. "Chad, it's been weeks now, and it's not like it hasn't happened numerous times before."

"I-I know," he began, letting go of me and awkwardly sticking his hands into the pockets of his pants. "It's just that I really wanna prove to you that I'm not some crazed sex fiend. I mean, that seemed to be my answer to every problem you've had over the past several weeks. Dad died? Have sex. Can't sleep? Have sex. Feeling sick? Have se-"

"Alright, I get it," I interrupted. "But Chad, I know it was more than that now. Besides...you've been holding out on me for a long time. We love each other—it's okay now."

"I know, but I still think we should give ourselves some more t-"

But his words were instantly mumbled when I stood up on my tippy toes and swiftly planted a kiss on his lips. His eyes closed as we melted together, our hands roaming hungrily over each other's bodies, taking in the blissful feeling of the first time in weeks we had allowed ourselves to become this intimate.

"You're a very persuasive woman, Munroe," he softly said into my ear as I began to unbutton his shirt, kissing my way down his chest as I did so.

"But to be fair, I think we both know you don't take much persuading," I mumbled against his toned body.

"Crap!" Chad suddenly exclaimed with closed eyes. "We don't have protection," he groaned out, and I could tell that he was mentally kicking himself for coming unprepared.

"On the pill," I reminded him, glad I had heeded my doctor's strong recommendation of starting on birth control.

My hand smoothed over the muscles of his warm chest, causing them to tense under my fingertips as I pushed his shirt off his muscular arms, our lips never parting in the process. Chad's hands came up to slowly unzip the back of my dress, letting it pool at my ankles before I stepped out of it. His hands on were my lower back, pulling me against him as I nimbly unbuckled his belt, and his pants soon joined the pile of clothes already strewn in the ground beneath us.

Soon we had sunk down on our knees into the sand, Chad's lips moving over my collarbone as I sighed lustfully. "You sure we should do this here?" he finally asked me. "I mean, last time we tried to share an intimate moment on the beach, we were spotted by a helicopter."

My lips nibbled at his earlobe as Chad's hands came around to unhook the strapless bra I was wearing. "Mmm, it is quite a risk," I agreed, but I knew Chad was too far gone right now to change his mind. It would take a spotlight and a strong warning over a loudspeaker to break us apart right now.

His head shot up for a second. "It'll be worth it," he declared, removing the obstructive undergarment before pushing me down onto my back into the sand. His lips moved across my torso, peppering kisses down my stomach and moving up my chest before sucking a nipple between them. Soon, my panties were removed and I helped to free Chad of his constrictive boxers. The moon shone down on us, illuminating our bare skin as our bodies tangled together.

My hand moved to slowly pump him, and he let out a groan. "God I love feeling your hands on me," he said, his eyes closed as my hand moved rhythmically against him. I sunk down between his legs, lightly brushing my tongue over his tip as I felt his body tense beneath me. Once I was sure he couldn't take it anymore, I took what I could of his length into my mouth. "Oh f-fuck," he began, "Sonny...at this rate I'm not going to last very long," he warned, but I could tell the last thing in the world he wanted me to do right now was stop.

"You're going to get it, Munroe," he admonished me with a playful smile once he had met his full arousal. He pinned me beneath himself, his fingers brushed lightly up the insides of my thighs, cruelly teasing me—I just needed to feel his touch. I wimped in frustration as his fingers lightly brushed across the crease of my thigh and over my lower abdomen, only making me yearn even more to feel him inside of me.

"J-just touch me already!" I finally shouted out, grasping his wrist and taking control of his hand.

He let out a playful chuckle as his fingers began to stroke me, making my back arch as my heels dug into the sand. My eyes closed as I came closer to the edge—whimpering and pleading for him not to stop. When Chad finally looked like he couldn't contain himself anymore, his hand left me as he hovered over my body, leaning down and kissing me hard. Finally, I let out a deep moan as he pushed himself against me, his hips cradled between my soft thighs. Trying to control himself, Chad slowly slid in and out of me as I grabbed his forearms in ecstasy. It had been weeks after all, and knowing that this was more than just sex now, made the feeling of our bodies finally connecting even more euphoric.

"Oh God, Chad," I moaned as he moved inside of me, sand sticking to our glistening skin as our bodies moved together at a steady pace. The sound of waves crashing onto the shore drowned out the sound of our persistent vocalizations as Chad's hips bucked into mine.

"I love you so much," he said, our lips crashing together as his movements quickened, and he began to plunge even more demandingly into me. I kissed up the side of his jaw and my hands tangled into his dirty blond hair as he buried his face in the crook of my neck. I whimpered at the feeling as I quickly reached my climax.

Chad quickened his pace, and I threw my head back into the soft sand below me. I let out a long moan as the muscles in my lower abdomen tightened, the intense pleasure taking over ever inch of my body. A look of pure passion reflected in Chad's eyes before he finally fell against me, shaking from the intensity of his orgasm and resting his head against breast. Our skin now covered with sweat, both of us struggled to catch our breath as we sunk down onto the beach floor with exhaustion.

We lie silent and still for awhile, naked in the sand and staring up at the stars as the sounds of the ocean surrounded us. My hands brushed through Chad's now messy hair, and I felt his warm breath against my skin as he smiled. "This is so perfect in every way," I announced as he lifted his head to look at me, leaning down to place a quick kiss on my lips. Chad paused for a minute as we just stared intently into one another's eyes.

"Marry me."

The words had left his mouth so quickly, I thought I'd misheard him at first.

"What?"

"I know that you think the only reason I asked you in the first place was because I thought you were pregnant," he said. "But the truth is that I really do want to spend the rest of my life with you. It wasn't some fleeting decision I made to 'make an honest woman of you.'"

"Chad..." My mouth gaped. I was going to tell him that it was too soon, that I wasn't ready, but somehow the words never managed to leave my lips.

"I know. You haven't started school yet, and were both still young. What we have right now is great Sonny, but I want more. I want to wake up to you ever morning. Just...maybe you can think it over? I don't need a split-second decision about it-"

"Yes."

"-what?"

Smiling, I took his hand in mine. "I said _yes_."

So maybe it _was_ a bit of a split-second decision, but I knew it was the right one. I had already decided that Chad was the only person I ever wanted to be with, and I knew nothing was ever going to change that. I guess that 'taking things slow' had just gone out the window, but I think the three year wait was more than enough.

Grinning like a fool, Chad pushed me back into the sand, his lips taking mine once again.

My 20th birthday would undoubtedly go down as my most memorable, even though I had a feeling we wouldn't be making it to dinner any time soon.

**The End**

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I loved them all. **

Sorry for the delay on this. I had serious writer's block on this one (which I hardly ever get anymore). I had so much anxiety trying to write this chapter! I seriously could not come up anything I liked, and I have about 5 different versions of this ending saved on my computer now. So...I hope you liked this last chapter. I wanted to write something that would be very "final."

BTW: "Sometimes Always" from a song by a band called Jesus and the Mary Chain that fits this fic almost perfectly. So, if you like 90's alternative check it out.


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